[anonymous 17]

I've never said anything about being gay to anyone before. I've never said anything on any sites either. I'm pretty sure I'm gay and feel like I'm ready for a boyfriend but I don't want to come out of the closet as I'm not sure how my family and friends would react. I know I'm young but not sure what to do. Any answers greatly appreciated thanks

[JoeCanada76]

Well your going through a lot of hormonal changes at this time. To say your gay or not gay is hard to say really. If your not truly sure then I would just wait and see how you feel about things. Also recommend non judging counseling. Counseling is private and any thoughts or ideas or anything that might help you work through whatever your feeling will benefit you in the long run. Deciding or figuring out whether your truly gay or not and if you eventually come to the realization you are then you could defiantly get guidance on how to share this part of you to your family.

[talaniman]

You are probably afraid of the reactions of others, so having a good trusted friend to talk to would be great, a trusted counselor that's an adult, would be even better, so you can be guided through the process of accepting yourself, and being aware of the shock that others close to you will have to deal with.

This will help you decide who to come out of the closet to, and when, and how, because they will find out sooner or later, just by your actions. I have no clue as to your relationship with your family is, or if you have siblings or not, but older brothers, or sisters, can be a good source of support if your close.

Its not easy for young people to know what to do about their emerging sexuality, and they do have questions as you do, but I think a trusted older person is the best way to go, for information, and facts that you will need for a good decision.

Hope I helped some, and ask any question you have. I think in time you will come to terms with who you really are, but get some education about sexuality first, before you experiment!

[McSorley]

I'm going on what your saying and I'm 19 so I'm close to your age

My conclusion is:

If your not entirely sure maybe experiment with male and female and when your totally happy with your sexuality. You should just come out and say, its not about who you will be disappointing then reason why is because this is your life and you need to make your own decisions its part of growing up

So I say "when your ready" tell people your gay if you are, its nothing to be ashamed of


Edited for spelling , this time.

[letitbe1111]

It sounds like you know already, but are hoping you are mistaken because it's easier to be straight. I am wondering where you live because some communities are more accepting of gay people than others. You might want to look online for websites designed to help teens who are confused about sexuality issues. Trust your instincts. Deep down you know your truth. I'm not gay, so I'm in no way an expert on your situation. I have learned that you need to trust your gut on this kind of stuff and it won't steer you wrong. Don't experiment unless you feel confident that you can handle it. Good luck!

[hheath541]

I know this is a couple months old, but I hope you come back to read this.

it's hard, and scary, to realize that you might be gay. It's even harder, and scarier, to think about how your family and friends may react.

know, that there is no set time when you have to come out. Coming out is done on YOUR schedule. No one else, not even someone who's gone through it themselves, can tell you that you're ready if you're not.

I wouldn't suggest experimenting with anyone. Not only are you a bit young for sex, but it's clear you're not ready for the consequences.

let's say you find a willing girl. If you're unable to 'perform' then you'll have an upset, spurned, possibly angry girl who will almost definitely tell her friends what happened, which will then probably get around school. If you are able to 'perform' then there's the risk of std's and pregnancies. Either way, you are picking a girl for no other purpose than to use her for sexual experimentation. You'll likely have to live with the guilt of that knowledge, since you seem like a caring young man.

now, let's say you find a willing guy. If you're unable to 'perform' the consequences will be the same; a spurned, angry, upset guy who will likely tell his friends, and will get around school. If you are able to 'perform' the consequences are much the same; you risk std's, just no pregnancy. Either way, you have picked a guy to use just for the purpose of sexual experimentation. On top of that, you have the added probability that he is just as confused as you are. Regardless of how it goes, there's a possibility that he'll out you out of shame or embarrassment or just to keep himself from being outed.

you need someone understanding and non-judgmental to talk to. This is the link to a wonderful site. They have a mailing list where you can talk to other teens who are going through the same thing you are. They'll give you an understanding ear and will be more than willing to listen when something is bothering you, or you just need to talk.

Youth Guardian Services

[MightyMarcus]

Yes you might be gay or maybe you just haven't met the right girl yet. Personally I think that young people throw around the words "girlfriend" and "boyfriend" too loosely. Also,you don't ever have to accept labels like "straight" or "gay" because you are free. You can just be you. You might be a new breed which is very OK. I guess I would suggest trying to get into closer relationships with boys and then see how you feel but even if you are convinced you are gay,a perfect girl might just happen to come along. You have to be happy and feel fulfilled. You will know who is right for you but it will take time. You will change more still. In five years time,you might be completely different. Be happy in the present though. Do what makes you most happy now.