[hoosiergirl65]

No one in my family has ever divorced. I totally do not even know how to begin the process. What will it do to my senior in HS and my almost 11 year old? I can't BEAR the thought of not seeing them everyday. It will be a stuation where my husband will want time with them to be 50/50, nothing less. There's so many people out there that have a good reason for divorce like cheating, etc. but that is not the case here. Just irreconciliable differences. I just don't know if I'm mentally prepared to take this or not. He will not file; it would make him look bad he says. So I will have to do it. If the judge hands me down a blow to me, I think I would just fall apart and have to be committed. I wish I could just snap my fingers and be done with it. There is no love between us anymore so his feelings are mutual. He is vindictive and very witty and also strong-willed and self-disciplined. He would be able to put on a great show... while I would be faliing apart. My dad passed away on the 10th and during visitation and the funeral he never touched me, put his arm around me, or even told me he was sorry for me. So this gives you a better idea of what I'm dealing with here. I feel like my stomach is a blender. HELP!

[Gemini54]

I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your father. My suggestion would be that you take this process, if it's what you really want, one step at a time.

Go and talk to a counselor or legal adviser and ask them what the steps are. Most western countries have no fault divorce. (Not sure about USA, in Australia, you have to have been separated for 12 months before you can file for divorce - in Oz you can organize the financial and custodial arrangements in the meantime 'tho.)

Clearly there are changes that you will need to adjust to - so counseling might be a sensible and comforting first option. You may also be able to express your grief about the loss of your father as well as discuss your feelings about spending less time without your children, which sounds like a prospective second grief and loss for you.

Once you're clearer in your own mind about your feelings and your options, then you can talk to your children and your husband. It's a big decision to make, but perhaps now is the time to get advice and do some thinking rather than taking action.

[wynndixie2010]

No one in my family has ever divorced. I totally do not even know how to begin the process. What will it do to my senior in HS and my almost 11 year old? I can't BEAR the thought of not seeing them everyday. It will be a stuation where my husband will want time with them to be 50/50, nothing less. There's so many ppl out there that have a good reason for divorce like cheating, etc. but that is not the case here. Just irreconciliable differences. I just don't know if I'm mentally prepared to take this or not. He will not file; it would make him look bad he says. So i will have to do it. If the judge hands me down a blow to me, I think I would just fall apart and have to be committed. I wish I could just snap my fingers and be done with it. There is no love between us anymore so his feelings are mutual. He is vindictive and very witty and also strong-willed and self-disciplined. he would be able to put on a great show...while I would be faliing apart. My dad passed away on the 10th and during visitation and the funeral he never touched me, put his arm around me, or even told me he was sorry for me. So this gives you a better idea of what I'm dealing with here. I feel like my stomach is a blender. HELP!

For starters, I'm very sorry for all this. I can speak with some experience on the subject, as I've had to go through two divorces myself. With two young daughters involved. There is not one good thing about it at all. No one comes out ahead, everyone loses, nothing is gained. Property is divided, families are torn apart, children are hurt and confused. Need I continue?
I'm sure you know all that... but take it as a very dire warning... you wrote your reasoning is "irreconcilible differences"... the familiar jargon coined by divorce lawyers who make oodles of money from the scam of divorce court proceedings. Lawyers are the ONLY winners...
I know none of this helps... but having been through it all, and having stood where you are right now, certainly makes me hurt for you, but mostly for your innocent children. I wonder if you might try to consider one thing... primarily for their sakes... you wrote that your youngest is eleven now... that means seven more years till the house is quiet again. Is it even remotely possible, that you and your husband, sit down, either alone or with relatives/church leaders, etc. and try to hang on till that time, so that your children will be much more adept at handling such a disaster in their lives? You know... when I hear the word divorce, as I did myself... I think back... there was a time when you and your husband no doubt loved each other... you couldn't wait to be together... then, you married, maybe it was the greatest day in your life.. then, two innocent, unsuspecting children came into being... now they are about to endure a living hell, because mom and dad don't see eye to eye anymore. Loving parents can certainly see the unfairness of it all. How would we personally have handled a divorce of our own parents when we were young? It no doubt would have torn us up. I sure wish you could do something, anything, to keep that from happening again. You're right, everything will have to be split up, personal belongings, the comforts of the home, the home itself, your life, everyone's life that is in any way associated to your families... will be torn apart. I know about men... that attitude your husband has... I know because I'm a man too! But trust me, that does NOT make me an unfeeling or uncaring person. Two divorces, and both wives filed, both for different things. Both divorces were wrong and should never have been. Our children are grown and gone now, but they suffered beyond measure, and relationships in EVERY direction were strained, and will never, ever be the same again.
If it is absolutely IMPOSSIBLE to reconcile, even for the sakes of your children, then I would suggest you and hubby sit down and work out a concise plan of action, one where NO ONE HURTS ANY OTHER... no vengeful actions, no using children as weapons, no underhanded head games... My first wife and I had the two children, when we separated, we talked at length, promising to NEVER hurt each other beyond the actual divorce... we were very young when we married, she was pregnant, and that was not the way to start a life... it went downhill from there, but we held the children absolutely sacred, and it went about as smooth as it could possibly be expected. We were the fortunate ones. Most divorced couples will fight, cuss, rip and tear, bad mouth the other, publicly and privately, even in front of the kids, even using them as weapons against each other... and all for what? To get EVEN? How "second grade"... Your children no doubt love you AND dad... and are hardly ready for what's ahead. They will look to you both, they will count on you to be the steady rock for them when they need you. Its up to you and dad to be there for them. If it were just you and the hubby, the pain would not be anywhere's so intense.
One other thing... Stress is one of the WORST adversaries in our lives. It takes a terrible toll on us, mentally, physically, socially, emotionally, spiritually, and most definitely, monetarily... you need to stand strong. When your 'stomach is in knots'... you're virtually subtracting years from your existence. It can be read in your face like a book. Try to remember this... everything that we have to endure in our personal and collective lives, will eventually pass. There is a day coming when you'll look back and take a deep breath and it will seem like a dream.
Be strong, for your kids, for your relatives and friends, and for you. And at least TRY to work out some kind of amicable understanding between you both. Two innocent children are counting on you. And when all else fails, you COULD ask the Good Lord for direction. That's where most people go when they're at their wits end... just unfortunate we wait so long...

I'll be thinking of you...

[hoosiergirl65]

I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your father. My suggestion would be that you take this process, if it's what you really want, one step at a time.

Go and talk to a counselor or legal adviser and ask them what the steps are. Most western countries have no fault divorce. (Not sure about USA, in Australia, you have to have been separated for 12 months before you can file for divorce - in Oz you can organize the financial and custodial arrangements in the meantime 'tho.)

Clearly there are changes that you will need to adjust to - so counseling might be a sensible and comforting first option. You may also be able to express your grief about the loss of your father as well as discuss your feelings about spending less time without your children, which sounds like a prospective second grief and loss for you.

Once you're clearer in your own mind about your feelings and your options, then you can talk to your children and your husband. It's a big decision to make, but perhaps now is the time to get advice and do some thinking rather than taking action.

I totally agree. I've already decided on counseling for me and possibly the kids. He doesn't want marriage counseling. I've begged him to go to no avail... :(

[hoosiergirl65]

For starters, I'm very sorry for all this. I can speak with some experience on the subject, as I've had to go thru two divorces myself. With two young daughters involved. There is not one good thing about it at all. No one comes out ahead, everyone loses, nothing is gained. Property is divided, families are torn apart, children are hurt and confused. Need I continue??
I'm sure you know all that... but take it as a very dire warning... you wrote your reasoning is "irreconcilible differences".... the familiar jargon coined by divorce lawyers who make oodles of money from the scam of divorce court proceedings. Lawyers are the ONLY winners...
I know none of this helps... but having been thru it all, and having stood where you are right now, certainly makes me hurt for you, but mostly for your innocent children. I wonder if you might try to consider one thing... primarily for their sakes.... you wrote that your youngest is eleven now.... that means seven more years till the house is quiet again. Is it even remotely possible, that you and your husband, sit down, either alone or with relatives/church leaders, etc., and try to hang on till that time, so that your children will be much more adept at handling such a disaster in their lives? You know... when I hear the word divorce, as I did myself... I think back... there was a time when you and your husband no doubt loved each other... you couldn't wait to be together... then, you married, maybe it was the greatest day in your life.. then, two innocent, unsuspecting children came into being.... now they are about to endure a living hell, because mom and dad don't see eye to eye anymore. Loving parents can certainly see the unfairness of it all. How would we personally have handled a divorce of our own parents when we were young? It no doubt would have torn us up. I sure wish you could do something, anything, to keep that from happening again. You're right, everything will have to be split up, personal belongings, the comforts of the home, the home itself, your life, everyone's life that is in any way associated to your families... will be torn apart. I know about men... that attitude your husband has.... I know because I'm a man too! But trust me, that does NOT make me an unfeeling or uncaring person. Two divorces, and both wives filed, both for different things. Both divorces were wrong and should never have been. Our children are grown and gone now, but they suffered beyond measure, and relationships in EVERY direction were strained, and will never, ever be the same again.
If it is absolutely IMPOSSIBLE to reconcile, even for the sakes of your children, then I would suggest you and hubby sit down and work out a concise plan of action, one where NO ONE HURTS ANY OTHER... no vengeful actions, no using children as weapons, no underhanded head games.... My first wife and I had the two children, when we seperated, we talked at length, promising to NEVER hurt each other beyond the actual divorce... we were very young when we married, she was pregnant, and that was not the way to start a life... it went downhill from there, but we held the children absolutely sacred, and it went about as smooth as it could possibly be expected. We were the fortunate ones. Most divorced couples will fight, cuss, rip and tear, bad mouth the other, publically and privately, even in front of the kids, even using them as weapons against each other...and all for what? To get EVEN? How "second grade".... Your children no doubt love you AND dad... and are hardly ready for what's ahead. They will look to you both, they will count on you to be the steady rock for them when they need you. Its up to you and dad to be there for them. If it were just you and the hubby, the pain would not be anywhere's so intense.
One other thing... Stress is one of the WORST adversaries in our lives. It takes a terrible toll on us, mentally, physically, socially, emotionally, spiritually, and most definitely, monetarily.... you need to stand strong. When your 'stomach is in knots'... you're virtually subtracting years from your existance. It can be read in your face like a book. Try to remember this... everything that we have to endure in our personal and collective lives, will eventually pass. There is a day coming when you'll look back and take a deep breath and it will seem like a dream.
Be strong, for your kids, for your relatives and friends, and for you. And at least TRY to work out some kind of amicable understanding between you both. Two innocent children are counting on you. And when all else fails, you COULD ask the Good Lord for direction. Thats where most people go when they're at their wits end... just unfortunate we wait so long....

I'll be thinking of you....

I know that post took a LOT of your time and I appreciate that. Yes, I have thought of waiting the 7years. I have thought of just ignoring him because a missed a spot on the table I just dusted, etc. The clincher is he is trying to turn the kids against me. They will say phrases that came from him because I've heard them too many times from him. I tried to explain to my youngest that I know he is caught in the middle; no one likes that. I made up this analogy: there is a long bridge between 2 mountains that are 10,000 ft above sea level. I know you don't want to be on that scary "bridge" so you feel like you have to run to one side or another. My husband can be convincing kniving.He is one smart cookie. He's right and everyone else is wrong; I try so hard to keep my mouth shut. Then along comes yet another "jab". He finds fault in everything I do. So this makes it REAL tough to live in the same house...

[KBC]

Can you leave this hell bath of a home?

You might break before the papers are even started,where will you be if he succeeds in doing that?

I feel your pain and seething hate he expresses,I was very similar to him, back when I was married, sorry, it is what it is:(

I learned in time that I wasn't the great person I thought I was, it was a smoke screen.Maybe he'll learn that too,someday.

The children,they will ALWAYS need a mother, you are not replaceable,no matter what he might say to them,try to convince them, they aren't stupid, kids find the truth and make their own minds up about the lies, mine have, it took many years,but they both see now what they were told wasn't 100% the truth.

The loss of your father and this all coming to a head at the same time, wow, your head is full of conflicts and deep feelings,I'd bet.

Take a look at this site, Coping with Grief and Loss: Support for Grieving and Bereavement it is about helping you identify and cope with a loss like you have had.

And this site, Setting Personal Boundaries - protecting self ,It's my personal favorite, setting boundaries to protect yourself from others attacks.. please read them,they are both very good sites.

[hoosiergirl65]

For starters, I'm very sorry for all this. I can speak with some experience on the subject, as I've had to go thru two divorces myself. With two young daughters involved. There is not one good thing about it at all. No one comes out ahead, everyone loses, nothing is gained. Property is divided, families are torn apart, children are hurt and confused. Need I continue??
I'm sure you know all that... but take it as a very dire warning... you wrote your reasoning is "irreconcilible differences".... the familiar jargon coined by divorce lawyers who make oodles of money from the scam of divorce court proceedings. Lawyers are the ONLY winners...
I know none of this helps... but having been thru it all, and having stood where you are right now, certainly makes me hurt for you, but mostly for your innocent children. I wonder if you might try to consider one thing... primarily for their sakes.... you wrote that your youngest is eleven now.... that means seven more years till the house is quiet again. Is it even remotely possible, that you and your husband, sit down, either alone or with relatives/church leaders, etc., and try to hang on till that time, so that your children will be much more adept at handling such a disaster in their lives? You know... when I hear the word divorce, as I did myself... I think back... there was a time when you and your husband no doubt loved each other... you couldn't wait to be together... then, you married, maybe it was the greatest day in your life.. then, two innocent, unsuspecting children came into being.... now they are about to endure a living hell, because mom and dad don't see eye to eye anymore. Loving parents can certainly see the unfairness of it all. How would we personally have handled a divorce of our own parents when we were young? It no doubt would have torn us up. I sure wish you could do something, anything, to keep that from happening again. You're right, everything will have to be split up, personal belongings, the comforts of the home, the home itself, your life, everyone's life that is in any way associated to your families... will be torn apart. I know about men... that attitude your husband has.... I know because I'm a man too! But trust me, that does NOT make me an unfeeling or uncaring person. Two divorces, and both wives filed, both for different things. Both divorces were wrong and should never have been. Our children are grown and gone now, but they suffered beyond measure, and relationships in EVERY direction were strained, and will never, ever be the same again.
If it is absolutely IMPOSSIBLE to reconcile, even for the sakes of your children, then I would suggest you and hubby sit down and work out a concise plan of action, one where NO ONE HURTS ANY OTHER... no vengeful actions, no using children as weapons, no underhanded head games.... My first wife and I had the two children, when we seperated, we talked at length, promising to NEVER hurt each other beyond the actual divorce... we were very young when we married, she was pregnant, and that was not the way to start a life... it went downhill from there, but we held the children absolutely sacred, and it went about as smooth as it could possibly be expected. We were the fortunate ones. Most divorced couples will fight, cuss, rip and tear, bad mouth the other, publically and privately, even in front of the kids, even using them as weapons against each other...and all for what? To get EVEN? How "second grade".... Your children no doubt love you AND dad... and are hardly ready for what's ahead. They will look to you both, they will count on you to be the steady rock for them when they need you. Its up to you and dad to be there for them. If it were just you and the hubby, the pain would not be anywhere's so intense.
One other thing... Stress is one of the WORST adversaries in our lives. It takes a terrible toll on us, mentally, physically, socially, emotionally, spiritually, and most definitely, monetarily.... you need to stand strong. When your 'stomach is in knots'... you're virtually subtracting years from your existance. It can be read in your face like a book. Try to remember this... everything that we have to endure in our personal and collective lives, will eventually pass. There is a day coming when you'll look back and take a deep breath and it will seem like a dream.
Be strong, for your kids, for your relatives and friends, and for you. And at least TRY to work out some kind of amicable understanding between you both. Two innocent children are counting on you. And when all else fails, you COULD ask the Good Lord for direction. Thats where most people go when they're at their wits end... just unfortunate we wait so long....

I'll be thinking of you....

Also wanted to add that even we're under the same roof doesn't mean that our family is not already torn apart and kids hurt and confused. No I'm not proud to admit that. But you also have to look at it this way: They already have those burdens PLUS the constant strife in the house. I try really hard to keep my mouth shut when my kids disrespect me or my husband is doing his usual "crap" of trying to turn them to "his side" to try and get me going. This is just a different perspective on those thoughts, that's all... :)

[hoosiergirl65]

Also wanted to add that even we're under the same roof doesn't mean that our family is not already torn apart and kids hurt and confused. No I'm not proud to admit that. But you also have to look at it this way: They already have those burdens PLUS the constant strife in the house. I try really hard to keep my mouth shut when my kids disrespect me or my husband is doing his usual "crap" of trying to turn them to "his side" to try and get me going. This is just a different perspective on those thoughts, that's all...:)

Also you said "7 more years until the house is quiet again." Yeah, 7 more years until the kids don't have to be involved in the household strife. But what makes you think that after this the house will be "quiet again". I did not add that I have lost 25 lbs in the last year and I was really not overweight before that. I feel like I'm having/have had numerous breakdowns; I can't do this for 7 more years or I will probably be dead from a heart attack, stroke, etc.

[hoosiergirl65]

I am friends with a man (just friends) that has been married for about 20 years. He and his wife have seven children together, ranging from early elementary age to high school age. They lived in the same house for years but on different levels. Now they have been living 30 minutes apart for at least 4 years. He is paying her rent, paying her car payment (nice one too) and her cell phone bill. I am writing this on his behalf because he does not have a computer, and I would like to know some opinions on this situation. She was cheating on him with more than one man, was not being a good mother, gone all the time, and he said he basically threw her out. He said that's why he feels that he needs to pay for those things, because he threw her out. She works a low paying part-time job. He said it would be fine with him if he never saw or heard from her again, but doesn't want to hurt the kids. She gets up, drives the half hour 4 days a week and arrives at his house right after he leaves for work (she does not want to see him period) to get them on the bus. He said she visits them on Monday afternoons, and that's all they see from her. He wants to divorce her but is afraid if he does she will be awarded some type of custody of the kids, which would mean he would have to pay her a lot of child support, but things would stay the same as far as them living with him and her seeing them (her choice). Then after she "takes him to the cleaners" by getting all that child support that she wouldn't be using on the kids (cause they'd still be with him), he would not have much left to raise them on since they actually would still be with him. She doesn't want him or these kids, that's plain to see. SHe knows she's got him between a rock and a hard place. He said she will never file first because of her "good life". I asked him why he was giving it to her. He said because of the kids and because he kicked HER out. Well who the heck wouldn't? I think it is very sad for the kidsto be rejected by their mom and him because he feels trapped and like he will never be able to be happy again with someone else. I told him you can be loved someday and have the kids. I hate to see him waste his life away. I just find it hard to believe that things would pan out this good for her. They both live in Indiana. What do you all think of this? Could this really happen? He is 42 now. The clock is ticking for him. He said he would settle for full custody or joint physical/residential custody, but that doesn't mean he would get it he thinks. I don't see how the courts would allow this to happen after living with him all these years. What do you think of this? Could this really happen? I suggested a lawyer. I think he just does not want to put the kids through a nasty divorce either.I know, you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink. Give me some advice, and I will let him read this or relay it to him. Thanks!:)

[Scleros]

Me, I think a clean or even messy divorce would be better for the kids than years of messy separation with married mom running around with other men while Dad sits at home alone footing all the bills. To me that sends a very wrong message to the kids. So, stop hiding behind the kids and grow a pair, and then take stock of your assets and see a good lawyer. Proceed as recommended.

Also, he's currently paying all her bills, but is afraid of possible child support?

[ohsohappy]

You know, even now she's taking him to the cleaners, if she doesn't want the kids then she doesn't have to take them, but if she wants them just for the child support then that's a tough call because a great deal of the time, the court gives primary custody to the mother. He still has a chance, He just needs solid proof and enough courage to realize that it's better to just get it over with then let her walk all over him. I hope he gets his kids, and I wish him luck.

[Fr_Chuck]

They are already "divorced" in the meaning that they no longer live together, he is just being really cheated on what he is paying out most likely.

There is no reason he can't get joint custody, and if he is and has had them for a number of years most likely he will keep them.

He needs to move on with his life and cut the ties. This is , in my opinion, worst on the kids as a full divorce would be.

[Jake2008]

I don't mean to be rude, but this is none of your business. Whether to separate, or stay married, or go to court, should be the private business between him and his lawyer, and her and her lawyer.

You know only one side of the story, and I presume you've never even met his wife.

Just my opinion here, but you sound like more than just 'friends'.

If he hasn't already had legal advise (which I doubt after so much time- perhaps he is just not telling you), he should seek an hour with an attorney to know what his options and responsibilities are.

Guessing at what may or may not happen won't solve anything.

[hoosiergirl65]

Me, I think a clean or even messy divorce would be better for the kids than years of messy separation with married mom running around with other men while Dad sits at home alone footing all the bills. To me that sends a very wrong message to the kids. So, stop hiding behind the kids and grow a pair, and then take stock of your assets and see a good lawyer. Proceed as recommended.

Also, he's currently paying all her bills, but is afraid of possible child support?

No, no, he's not afraid of paying child support-no deadbeat dad here! He wants those kids to stay with him. He's afraid SHE will take the child support money she will be awarded after the divorce (which she will get awarded unless the court gives her NO access to the kids whatsoever which would not happen), continue to live her "life of luxury" with no kids, just like now and he'd still be raising them with a LOT less money. We think this is the only reason why she even keeps any kind of contact with them-so she can say she is contributing to raising them by doing as little as possible. Like he said, no mom wants to admit she doesn't want her kids. Now do you understand? :)

[hoosiergirl65]

I don't mean to be rude, but this is none of your business. Whether to separate, or stay married, or go to court, should be the private business between him and his lawyer, and her and her lawyer.

You know only one side of the story, and I presume you've never even met his wife.

Just my opinion here, but you sound like more than just 'friends'.

If he hasn't already had legal advise (which I doubt after so much time- perhaps he is just not telling you), he should seek an hour with an attorney to know what his options and responsibilities are.

Guessing at what may or may not happen won't solve anything.

To finish my comment on agree/disagree: I have heard that this is exactly what is going on from trustworthy sources without him around. And he made it my business when he shared it with me. No I don't know his wife, but I can tell you she is pathetic because she wants that child support money and no kids. He told me that himself. I think he ought to know... I'd be willing to bet that you'd never had made the "none of your business" comment if it were a female friend of mine sharing this with me, huh?

[Jake2008]

You should read the rules of the forum first off. You don't give a 'reddie' for an OPINION. I was stating my opinion, take it or leave it. You are presenting third party information on a 'friend', who has himself not posted his own question about his own problems. My answer was based accordingly.

I think you should really mind your own business, and let him solve his problems with his wife. Just my opinion.

Your sarcasm because you didn't get the answer you were expecting, happens often, and the person asking the question, turns on those giving answers.

Try to accept that not everybody will agree with what you are doing, what your impressions of your 'friends' actions, or situation is, nor believe what you say about his wife to be true, simply because you say so.

[Gemini54]

well you're wrong, men and women can be just friends get out of the dark ages I did nothing to imply more than friends. Now you are "guessing". And he can decide who's business it is, he told me the details and I have heard the Same details fro]

Please check the rule of the site, and please don't be insulting in your comments, just because you don't agree. Sarcasm is unpleasant and unwarranted.

Everyone is entitled to an opinion or even to 'guess' and read between the lines, and that's what you'll get on this site.

[Gemini54]

My response is that he needs to see a good lawyer - what's the point of living in fear of what might happen, when he actually doesn't know what his legal options regarding child support and custody of the children might be?

Many courts allocate 50/50 custody these days and I'm guessing (if your assessment is correct) that he would have a reasonable chance of being awarded half time custody. Chances are he'd be much better off financially and emotionally with this arrangement.

However, I'm really just guessing - the people that would know are lawyers that work in Family Law.

[Cat1864]

IF the story he has given you is anywhere close to the truth, he is ignoring other possibilities such as her having to pay him child support. While he may think he has been doing the best he can for the children, he has actually been setting a very bad example of how a relationship works or ends.

To be honest, I think you are here for him because HE doesn't want to change anything. I think there is an underlying aspect of being the martyr in his story. As long as he has the children and pays for her, he can claim that he is the 'victim' of her selfish ways. Consulting a lawyer and confirming that he is a better position than he wants others to believe would hurt that self-sacrificing persona he is cultivating. Don't be surprised if he is still whining about what she is doing to him and how guilty he feels for kicking her out even after you give him every bit of information that HE wouldn't look up on his own (he doesn't need a computer to go to the library or look in a phone book).

[hoosiergirl65]

You should read the rules of the forum first off. You don't give a 'reddie' for an OPINION. I was stating my opinion, take it or leave it. You are presenting third party information on a 'friend', who has himself not posted his own question about his own problems. My answer was based accordingly.

I think you should really mind your own business, and let him solve his problems with his wife. Just my opinion.

Your sarcasm because you didn't get the answer you were expecting, happens often, and the person asking the question, turns on those giving answers.

Try to accept that not everybody will agree with what you are doing, what your impressions of your 'friends' actions, or situation is, nor believe what you say about his wife to be true, simply because you say so.

Okay, you are being judgemental and doing exactly the same things you are accusing me of. Know the difference between giving judgments as truth or opinions. I do not want sugar-coated opinions/suggestions and no I don't just want the ones I want to hear. What hat did you pull that out of? Because you do not even know enough about me, him, or her to make such blatant accusations. I am NOT trying to solve his problems between him and his wife; if that were the case I would have became a lawyer and be making a heck of a lot more than I am now :p "Quote: Your sarcasm because you didn't get the answer you were expecting, happens often, and the person asking the question, turns on those who give the answers," end of quote. WHAT?? I never implied that I wanted a certain answer to this, it's not a post that requires an "I want this kind of answer or I'll be upset". You are the only reason I am even writing this; get some tact or have someone teach you the meaning of...
Your post was of an attacking tone, so I responded accordingly. Read again, I stated that he does not have a computer or access to one right now. I have found lots of help for situations on these threads, and I have given some too. This post was no different. You're the first to give me this excuse of an "opinion". Just because you are a "veteran" of these forums does not excuse your rudeness. Enough about you, all I wanted was some genuine advice to try to help someone. I have no desire to get any information from you in the future, so don't waste your time, please, as I will give you the same courtesy... :D