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    rubyGM's Avatar
    rubyGM Posts: 12, Reputation: 3
    New Member
     
    #1

    Feb 19, 2010, 12:59 AM
    Drama at work
    I work with a close friend of mine or at least she use to be; and she's starting drama at work. Basically she's angry at some other close friends of mine for no reason. And aside from that she is always venting her problems onto me. Whenever we would hang out our conversations revolved around her life and the 'mean' people who 'hurt' her. I was always there to listen but I just became a shoulder. Anytime I'd speak she just ignore it or redirect it into something that simiarly happen to her. Even if it was a life crisis of mine she always blew it off as nothing compared to her boyfriend 'treating her badly' OMG! And soon I just got tired of her drama queen/emotional vampire bull.

    She never contacted me and I was usually was the one to call her. Well when she got in a fight with some close friends of mine she of course made me pick sides and even tried to involve me in it. So I just realized that this girl isn't interested in being friend she just wants attention. (She dresses slutty and isn't happy if something goes right because she needs something to talk about.)

    So I basically stopped being her b**** and shoulder. I stopped calling her and hoped if she was my true friend she'd be the one to contact me instead; or at least attempt to once. Though now she is distant and thinks I am taking my other friend's side (which I am not and honestly she's making a big deal of something stupid and even my close friends don't know what they said or did wrong.) and is starting to get other co-workers to take her side against me.

    Though the funny thing is I had no involment in the fight she got with my close friends. Another funny thing is that they are all guys and she is more forgiving toward them than me (Even though she got in aifght with them... and not me... becasue I had nothing to do with it and I wasn't even there!) She likes male attention and goes ANYTHING to get it then gets angry when hot guys just want her for sex and 'ugly' guys hit on her.

    I really don't want to start and am tired of this. My manager is a good friend of hers and she had been working there a lot longer than I have. My manager though doesn't seem to take sides but others have and its annoying because I did nothing wrong! LITIRALLY. Any suggestions? BTW I pretty much dropped her . I am not wanting to be around drama queens/attention whores/emotional vampires.

    I want to confront her but I know it's just going to give her more of a reason to and moan about it and make me the bad guy... so... am I f*****?
    Gemini54's Avatar
    Gemini54 Posts: 2,871, Reputation: 1116
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    #2

    Feb 19, 2010, 01:38 AM
    Look, she's probably a narcissist and nothing you EVER do will be right.

    She knows you know what she's like, and she's punishing you for it.

    Sadly she's a work colleague and you can't just drop her like you would a regular friend.

    The thing with people like this is that you let them drown themselves in their own BS. Let her make up stories about you and besmirch your reputation. Eventually, when YOU say nothing, other people will go, "what the??"

    Yep - just let her stew in her narcissistic juices, you take the high road and ignore it all.

    It's a drama and soon she'll find another focus. It takes strength of will to ignore people like this - but in the end it's all you can do,

    Pretending you don't care, that's the best revenge.
    Jake2008's Avatar
    Jake2008 Posts: 6,721, Reputation: 3460
    Emotional Health Expert
     
    #3

    Feb 20, 2010, 10:14 AM

    It's all about her, and nothing you can do or say, will change her.

    Friendships should be balanced, respectful and mutually satisfying.

    When one party does all the giving, and one does all the taking, where is the balance. Ask yourself who's needs are being met here, and you can clearly see that yours are not.

    She could be the nicest person in the world, and you will find yourself in the same position.

    People as needy as her, need you. You balance her problems, you listen to her opinions, ideas, and all that goes along with solving them. That does nothing for you when that is the only role you play in this relationship.

    A confrontation isn't necessary, and won't solve anything. You don't need to explain yourself, particularly since it's a sure bet, she'll turn it all around anyway.

    Be polite when you have to, keep your dignity and resolve intact, don't allow her to dump on you, and she will move onto the next person in record time.
    rubyGM's Avatar
    rubyGM Posts: 12, Reputation: 3
    New Member
     
    #4

    Feb 20, 2010, 01:21 PM

    Thanks a lot you guys. I figured the best things are to ignore her and only be polite when I have too.

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