[rosanna-hope]

That's why women now cary rape whistles and alarms, TO PREVENT BAD THINGS FROM HAPPENING. If she was drunk, she shouldn't of been left alone.

[smoothy]

thats why women now cary rape whistles and alarms, TO PREVENT BAD THINGS FROM HAPPENING. if she was drunk, she shouldnt of been left alone.

You have an answer to everything (you think anyway)... when was the last time you even looked when a car alarm went off? You don't right, you think there is that idiots car alarm again and think about torching the car if it goes off again. You think many people are going to listen to that... or your atacker is going to stand there and LET you make noise? I'll say its far more likely it will illicit a quick and violent reaction to quickly quiet you up... think about the possibilites there, that is IF you even have the patience of mind at that moment to even remember you have one much less find it and use it. You know the odds are 100% that whomever would be doing the attacking etc... won't be a first timer, and unlike you, had this planned while YOU are the one being surprised.

Something you WILL learn eventually is at the moment of surprise you won't have time to think things through, you will 99% likely be standing there like a deer in the headlights... in shock... if its not instinctive without ANY thought... you won't have the time to think anbout anything until its too late. Talk to any policeman... they will confirm what I just told you. Hell, talk to a rape victim, they will tell you that. Because I know a few of them as well.

[Kitkat22]

So Rosanna-Hope, the girl was drunk so she deserved it. I take it that's what you're saying. The reason she was raped is probably because she thought her friends wouldn't leave her by herself. So it was okay?


The reason she was raped is because whether you want to believe it or not little girl, places like that are unsafe for kids your age and there are horrible people who will rape, rob, murder who look as normal as you or me. I've said all I can say.

[rosanna-hope]

No I'm saying her friends were irresponsible in leaving her by herself or with a group of strangers, I mean hello that's just asking for trouble!

Kitkat don't patronise me, it just makes me want to ignore you more. Actually whenever a car alarm goes off I do look as to where it is and look for the owner.

I have talked to a policeWOMAN, in fact she's a DCI and my dads girlfriend, she gives me advice on how to keep safe and how to prevent things from happening so don't talk to me like I'm totally clueless in that area.

[Kitkat22]

Ask her to be your chaperone and your Dad wouldn't have to worry.

[rosanna-hope]

Haha no, I think not

[smoothy]

no im saying her friends were irresponsible in leaving her by herself or with a group of strangers, i mean hello thats just asking for trouble!

kitkat dont patronise me, it just makes me want to ignore you more. actually whenever a car alarm goes off i do look as to where it is and look for the owner.

i have talked to a policeWOMAN, infact shes a DCI and my dads girlfriend, she gives me advice on how to keep safe and how to prevent things from happening so dont talk to me like im totally clueless in that area.

So you are an actual Rape Victim? Because unless you are... you are totally clueless as to what you would do at that moment.. I've known and am good friends with a few women who were raped... THEY will tell you they knew exactly what they were going to do too... right up until that moment when shock overcame them.


I'm voting you the person most likely to be the victim of a crime in 2010. You know everything... have a response to every situation... and have yet to live on your own in the real world. Because to avoid being a victim... you have to be aware of what can happen at any given time,. if you are strutting around like Wonderwoman overconfident in YOU know exactly what to do to stop any attack... you'll never see it coming.

The streetsmart people who commit the crimes can spot a clueless person from across the street... they can see it in how they walk... and how they carry themselves.

But since you are an expert in everything... you don't need our advice. Why don't you get rich opening a chain of self defense clubs teaching your sure fire methods to fend off atackers.

[Kitkat22]

[QUOTE=smoothy;2230752]So you are an actual Rape Victim? Because unless you are... you are totally clueless as to what you would do at that moment.. I've known and am good friends with a few women who were raped... THEY will tell you they knew exactly what they were going to do too... right up until that moment when shock overcame them.


I'm voting you the person most likely to be the victim of a crime in 2010. You know everything... have a response to every situation... and have yet to live on your own in the real world. Because to avoid being a victim... you have to be aware of what can happen at any given time,. if you are strutting around like Wonderwoman overconfident in YOU know exactly what to do to stop any attack... you'll never see it coming.

The streetsmart people who commit the crimes can spot a clueless person from across the street... they can see it in how they walk... and how they carry themselves.

But since you are an expert in everything... you don't need our advice. Why don't you get rich opening a chain of self defense clubs teaching your sure fire methods to fend off atackers.[

[OUOTE] Smoothy, I think you are right. I also think she is not going to take any of the advice she has asked for..

[Cat1864]

i have talked to a policeWOMAN, infact shes a DCI and my dads girlfriend, she gives me advice on how to keep safe and how to prevent things from happening so dont talk to me like im totally clueless in that area.

I wonder what SHE thinks of your plan to go to the festival.

By the way, we only know what you tell us and you have already lied to us:

my sister was allowed to go to reading festival when she turned 15 and i think its only fair that i can go too?

no, my sister went behind my dads back, she went with her girlfriends and she was perfectly fine and said it was one of the best and most fun experiences of her life.

Quite frankly, I think you need to take a step back and reread what you have written and see the attitude that you show here. You have pretty much told us that you plan to go no matter what. I am concerned that you will follow in your sister's footsteps and go behind your dad's back.

I only can hope that you really think about what your dad says and that you obey HIS decision. As a parent, I would be more impressed by your accepting my decision rather than your trying to find away around it. It could even cause me to think about giving you a chance at maybe going for the day.

[HistorianChick]

Guys, guys... wow. This has gotten a little out of hand.

We all remember being teenagers - we knew it all, we were invincible, the world was our oyster, and our parents were wrong, didn't understand us, and didn't trust our judgement. We were all there; we were in the same place as this teenage girl.

Rosanna, sweetie, you're not going to convince your Dad that going to this concert is safe for his precious 15 year old daughter. You are his princess, his baby girl. He will not, in good conscience let you go by yourself.

And that is good parenting.

If he lets you go with your sister (and her boyfriend), he is being negligent in his parental responsibilities. If she goes with you, stays in your tent, and is by your side enjoying the music, that's a different story.

I was a babysitter - I was the kind of babysitter that parents wanted to hire... i.e, the kind that stayed with the child the entire night. The babysitters that talked on the phone or snuck out with their boyfriends were not hired twice.

All we are trying to do here is tell you that you have so much more to learn about human nature, so many more things to see, so many more experiences to gain... and this silly concert could jeapordize it all. We're just worried about your lacksidasical attitude towards our concern for your safety.

We are standing behind your Dad, and honestly, none of us are going to tell you how to convince your Dad to let you go to this concert.

I'm sorry that you didn't get the support or answers that you wanted; you received the concern from good members of this community. People who have your best in mind.

Please don't shut their counsel out because they got a little upset at your responses. We only want your best and don't want to see you get hurt.

... or turn into a nameless statistic.

Your Dad loves you. You have SO many years ahead of you for concerts and parties. Don't you think you could at least give him the piece of mind in knowing that his baby girl is safe?

[rosanna-hope]

I know I'm my dads baby girl, I always have been. To be honest, he spoils me rotten and its not doing any good because when he says no that's when I fall out with him! His girlfriend thinks this is a good idea to prove myself to people, follow guidelines and rules, consequences and be able to be trusted when I'm out of parents sight. Yeah whatever I'm a "child", everyone wants to do what they want when there my age and mostly I can.. its pathetic and from everyone else's responses apart from yours historianchick, its like I'm expected to be a little child who is completely clueless and reckless, if I'm expected to be like that then most likely I will be like that.

[Kitkat22]

Look.. I am not going to argue with you because I'm not your parent. All I was trying to say is, you seem like a nice kid who loves her dad very much. It's up to you and him work this out. If you do go be careful and stay safe.

[HistorianChick]

The thing about this website is that people actually really care about helping people. We believe people when they come here, post their problems, and wait for answers. We answer from our own experiences, from our hearts, and try to help in any way we can.

You can be assured that all the answers in this thread were from a place of honesty and true concern. I'm in my 30's, single, and an "attractive young woman" (if I do say so myself! ;) ), and honestly, I'd be a little scared to go to a concert like that without a bunch of people... and I''m an adult who has lived in China for two years and travelled the world alone.

Please don't shut out our counsel because you were offended at the delivery. It was all with good intent. We have seen girls come onto this site with terrible and horrible results from careless decisions... and we truly don't want to see that happen to you.

Give your Dad the benefit of the doubt... he wants your best, he has such high dreams for your future.

Acting like an adult is something to strive for--you're still a teenager, but you can certainly act like an adult. You can be mature for your age, but when it is all said and done, you're still a minor who has SO much left to see.

Just consider all that when you are quick to get upset with your Dad about this concert.

And thanks for coming back on AMHD and answering my post. :)

[smoothy]

i know im my dads baby girl, i always have been. to be honest, he spoils me rotten and its not doing any good becuase when he says no thats when i fall out with him! his girlfriend thinks this is a good idea to prove myself to people, follow guidlines and rules, consequences and be able to be trusted when im out of parents sight. yeah whatever im a "child", everyone wants to do what they want when there my age and mostly i can.. its pathetic and from everyone elses responses apart from yours historianchick, its like im expected to be a little child who is completely clueless and reckless, if im expected to be like that then most likely i will be like that.

When you are an adult you don't do whatever you feel like doing, whenever you feel like doing it. Those who do end up homeless, unemployed or in jail.

When you are an adult you don't argue about what you are going to do or not.

When you are an adult, you learn there are priorites in life... there are responsibilities.

When you are an adult... quite often you do do exactly what you want... when you want it, for any number of reasons... usually because of consequences... because few are independently wealthy and what you waste on one unimportant thing is money you don't have for sometrhing else that's more important.

When you are an adult... you do things because its right... not because its something you want to do.


Take a look at some of the adults you know personally... take a really long hard look. You will find that the impulsive people have little.. while the responsible ones have acquired much... as in house, possession, money. They don't whine about it... they don't insist they are going to do it anyway and don't care what happens.

Many Hustlers... (there may be a different work for them in the UK) take advantage of people that think they know everything... because that sort of pride and arrogance is easy to take advantage of.

Most people learn better as they get older... but the very young lack the life experience to see it before its too late. And yes for this purpose... even 18 and 19 is very young.

Now you can listen to what we have told you... and save yourself from having to learn those lessons the hard way. But don't go getting all snooty about how much you have learned in your whopping 15 years on this planet... none of which has been on your own yet.

Because we know the type... we've seen a lot of them... most end up dropping out of school, dead, in jail... or living in a rat infested apartment or trailer with kids from 3 or 4 different men, none of which hangs around... and the guy who IS living with them isn't sure to stay around long. And not knowing where the money for their next meal will come from.

And one thing they ALL share in common... is nobody that knew them was the least bit surprised that's how they ended up.

In the end its your life to screw up... and when you do... you have nobody to blame but yourself.

Yeah... a precious few manage to overcome childhood stupidity... but the vast majority suffer from the consequences of youthful stupidity the rest of their lives.

Consider our advice as an investment in your future... play it right... and you might have a maid and a Rolls-Royce and an Estate. Play it wrong and you will be in a seedy apartment in a bad part of town, and waiting for the Bus to take you everywhere.

[Kitkat22]

Glad you came back also to let us know how things are going. I think about what HC stated and I seem to have forgotten what a teenager goes through. I will add, my parents said No to a great deal of the things I wanted to do. Thank God they did! They were right and I saw that later on in my life. Whatever decision your dad makes I'm sure it will be the right one. Good Luck and please keep us posted. We will worry about you.

[smoothy]

Yeah... most of us grew up before the World Wide Web existed (yes I remember using Archie and Veronica search engines and the Internet being text based).

We are just trying to spare her many of the hard learned lessons we went through having nobody to talk to but our own small local circle of friends. None of whom knew any more than the other.

Heck... if she has the maturity to take seriously what we have told her, she will avoid all those major setbacks so many people have to struggle through.

If not... well, then she bears sole responsibility for what happens (or doesn't happen) in her life... and we reserve the right to mockingly say "We told you so".

[Kitkat22]

Yeah....most of us grew up before the World Wide Web existed (yes I remember using Archie and Veronica search engines and the Internet being text based).

We are just trying to spare her many of the hard learned lessons we went throught having nobody to talk to but our own small local circle of friends. None of whom knew any more than the other.

Heck...if she has the maturity to take seriously what we have told her, she will avoid all those major setbacks so many people have to struggle through.

If not...well, then she bears sole responsibility for what happens (or doesn't happen) in her life.....and we reserve the right to mockingly say "We told you so".

All we can say has been said. I hope she stays safe if she is allowed to go to this Festival.

[rosanna-hope]

You tihnk I don't now that? There's a reason why I'm going in the opposite direction to my mother, she was the one who's parents didn't allow her to do what she wanted so she did it behind their backs and got in more trouble in the end - I've seen it happen before my eyes, I'm not an idiot and I'm not ending up like that. I'm ending up like my dad - successful with a family.

I no longer wish for anyone to comment this, the only person who's opinion has gone through is HC because she actually talks sense and doesn't deliver drivel that I've heard before and I find boring and I'm not going to take in, she clearly knows what's she's doing and knows how to hit the right buttons.

[Catsmine]

i no longer wish for anyone to comment this, the only person whos opinion has gone through is HC becuase she actually talks sense and doesnt deliver drivel that ive heard before and i find boring and im not going to take in, she clearly knows whats shes doing and knows how to hit the right buttons.

Your wish is granted. I truly hope you have the lovely life you want, and I hope you're lucky enough that your choices don't interfere with your plan. Bye.

[smoothy]

you tihnk i dont now that? theres a reason why im going in the opposite direction to my mother, she was the one whos parents didnt allow her to do what she wanted so she did it behind their backs and got in more trouble in the end - ive seen it happen before my eyes, im not an idiot and im not ending up like that. im ending up like my dad - successful with a family.

i no longer wish for anyone to comment this, the only person whos opinion has gone through is HC becuase she actually talks sense and doesnt deliver drivel that ive heard before and i find boring and im not going to take in, she clearly knows whats shes doing and knows how to hit the right buttons.

Ummm, this is a public forum... until the tread is officially closed... it is open to comment.

And I do have something to say about your comment about NOT wanting to repeat what your mother did.

Most people who was in that situation will say that... then turn around and do exactly the same thing, or somethinf similar. How else would so many kids from disfuctional families grow up to have disfunctional families of their own. Kids of abuse tend to be more often the abusers even when they complain about it themselves.

The point I am making here is recognising the problem is only the start... unless you take all the right steps to avoid making the mistakes or worse then you end up on the very same path you swore you would avoid.

And from your own comments... its your father that had the common sense and good judgement in your family.

How about starting down that right path and do what he said... stop even thinking about going against his wishes. Unless you really want to end up like your mother.

And yeah... every choice you make... no matter how insignificant it MAY seem to a teenager... can have very large repercussions as a small choice now may close the door to a great opportunity later.. which in turn effects other opportunities after that.

The concept really isn't difficult to understand. If you ever watched any science fiction movies about time travel... you could not have missed the pretext about never changing anything because any change will have unintended consequences over time.

That concept is very valid... and you will understand it over time as you get older.

Every choice you make now determines what opportunities you will have available to you later... and that choice will change what opportunities you have after that.

One wrong choice however insignificant now really can effect the rest of your life in a really big way. So impulse decisions are usually the very worst things you can make.

With that said... I have made choices that had later consequences I never even thought of at the time... and yes opportunities were lost as a result.