[TommyBotham]

Hello I'm a 19 year old black male. I've had sex 3 times recently (in the last month) with the same girl. All sessions were over 2 hours long, none of them I have orgasmed. We always have to stop because I'm well endowed and she ends up getting sore.

Yesterday night after she got sore, I was thinking ' man? Ok I have to ejaculate somehow' so I asked here to give me a handjob. I lubed up and she stroked me for a good 15 minutes, still I did not ejaculate.

WTH is wrong with me? Whenever I watch porn and masturbate, I have no problems ejaculating. When it's the real thing, it's like sometimes I'm wondering 'I can't feel much... hmm this is becoming a chore' etc etc.

I just want to have good sex. Am I too used to my hand? Have I been scarred by porn? If this turns serious and we want to have children someday (or with any other female for that matter), how will I impregnate her if I cannot ejaculate?

This seems like every woman's dream, but trust me guys it's more like a curse. If you cannot ejaculate during sex, it will bring in underlying problems that are hard to solve.

I have not tried anal yet (I have a fetish for anal porn btw), but she told me once that she never thinks about doing it at this time. Yesterday however she was partly frustrated that I again did not ejaculate, so maybe I should put the suggestion to her?

Lastly, here are the feelings I have:

Feels OK for about 20 minutes, then it gets a little sensitive so I have to go slower for a couple of minutes, but then it's back to square one. When she 'rides' me, it feels really nice and she has a nice body, but still not enough to make me explode. When she was masturbating me, I kept getting more sensitive, but it was always like 99.9999999999999999999999999% ready to blow, and more 9's just kept adding on ?

Help me please, I want to blow my load for real.

[TommyBotham]

Please help.. Any advice?

[Catsmine]

How often do you masturbate? You may very well be too used to your hand, in that you have trained yourself to ejaculate to certain stimuli. Odds are you cannot climax using the other hand.

Is the porn necessary for you to climax or is it just an accessory, like a kleenex? If you need the porn you may be looking at an addiction, or a compelling habit, at least.

Try leaving yourself alone for a couple of days and lettting her be all the stimulation you get. You may not achieve climax the first time, but see if you get closer.

Edit: Take your time with her. A question/answer site can take days to get a good answer.

[TommyBotham]

I knew it. I'm too used to my hand and I've become used to a certain stimuli. But my girl studies in another city 3 hours away and she went back this evening. I'm not the type of person who will have sex with random people, so I have to masturbate to relieve any sexual tension.

am I going to do?

SWEARING REMOVED

[Catsmine]

so I have to masturbate to relieve any sexual tension.

Incorrect. You want to relieve sexual tension, you don't have to. Start with leaving the porn out and refraining for 24 hours. Then 48. Then 72. By the time she comes back you should be able to hold off for a week and give her a surprise.

[TommyBotham]

Ok OK, I will make endeavours to not watch any porn or touch myself. It will be difficult though.. I'm a very 'sexual' person at times and even a breeze can get me excited.

SEARING REMOVED

But Rome was not built in a day...

[TommyBotham]

I was not swearing by the way.. I only wrote 'w-t-f'.

[CravenMorhead]

I was not swearing btw.. I only wrote 'w-t-f'.

And the F stand for...

Try leaving the T and the F and just as 'What' like the adult we know you are. Profanity isn't required, even abbreviated, it doesn't help get anything new or special across.