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Ultra Member
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Feb 19, 2010, 12:13 PM
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Sweetie, he controls you. You've said so yourself. The reaction to the baby is not acceptable, nor is it a "little thing."
I guess what I'm trying to say is if you weigh offenses, all you get are worn out scales that can't tell the truth even if they wanted to.
When you start comparing things; for example, "well, he did do this, but it's definitely not as bad as that," you lose touch with reality. You're comparing your boyfriend's actions to the horrible examples of what a man should be from your past.
Controlling you, reacting the way he did with the baby, expecting you to cowtow to his wishes, those are not acceptable. You deserve equality in a relationship just like anyone else, no matter what happened in your past.
You're still a precious, unique creation that was made to shine. Not be broken down in servitude.
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Ultra Member
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Feb 19, 2010, 12:18 PM
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Originally Posted by HistorianChick
Sweetie, he controls you. You've said so yourself. The reaction to the baby is not acceptable, nor is it a "little thing."
I guess what I'm trying to say is if you weigh offenses, all you get are worn out scales that can't tell the truth even if they wanted to.
When you start comparing things; for example, "well, he did do this, but it's definitely not as bad as that," you lose touch with reality. You're comparing your boyfriend's actions to the horrible examples of what a man should be from your past.
Controlling you, reacting the way he did with the baby, expecting you to cowtow to his wishes, those are not acceptable. You deserve equality in a relationship just like anyone else, no matter what happened in your past.
You're still a precious, unique creation that was made to shine. Not be broken down in servitude.
Thanks Chicky, I guess you are right.
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Jobs & Parenting Expert
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Feb 19, 2010, 12:19 PM
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Originally Posted by xXxEmOxXxPrInCeSsxXx
I honestly see nothing wrong in what he does.
It sounds to me like he has put you into a role like your mother has been put into by your father. The dynamic is the same.
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Ultra Member
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Feb 19, 2010, 12:21 PM
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Originally Posted by Wondergirl
It sounds to me like he has put you into a role like your mother has been put into by your father. The dynamic is the same.
And so the cycle continues until I put a stop to it.
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Ultra Member
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Feb 19, 2010, 12:27 PM
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Originally Posted by xXxEmOxXxPrInCeSsxXx
And so the cycle continues until I put a stop to it.
Exactly.
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Ultra Member
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Feb 19, 2010, 12:29 PM
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I've noticed something, every post of mine somehow comes back to my past
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Ultra Member
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Feb 19, 2010, 03:27 PM
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Originally Posted by xXxEmOxXxPrInCeSsxXx
I've noticed something, every post of mine somehow comes back to my past
Because that's what you're acting out. We all do it in one way or another - it's our way of understanding our past and moving through it to something better.
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Ultra Member
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Feb 19, 2010, 04:10 PM
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Originally Posted by Gemini54
Because that's what you're acting out. We all do it in one way or another - it's our way of understanding our past and moving through it to something better.
Good point
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Ultra Member
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Feb 28, 2010, 06:37 PM
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I began talking to my new therapist about this.
It's done wonders. Being able to tell someone. Then told, face to face: It's all right. You made a mistake but it's in the past. (and other such things)
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Jobs & Parenting Expert
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Feb 28, 2010, 07:12 PM
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Originally Posted by xXxEmOxXxPrInCeSsxXx
I began talking to my new therapist about this.
It's done wonders. Being able to tell someone. then told, face to face: It's alright. you made a mistake but it's in the past. (and other such things)
The very fact that you said it out loud to someone is a good part of the healing. Have you forgiven yourself yet?
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Ultra Member
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Feb 28, 2010, 08:53 PM
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Originally Posted by Wondergirl
The very fact that you said it out loud to someone is a good part of the healing. Have you forgiven yourself yet?
Yes WG, I believe I have
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Jobs & Parenting Expert
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Feb 28, 2010, 09:03 PM
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Originally Posted by xXxEmOxXxPrInCeSsxXx
Yes WG, I believe I have
Good! Now, are you interested in working hard here to become an Expert, to help other young women with similar problems?
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Ultra Member
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Feb 28, 2010, 09:10 PM
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Yes WG, but in what would I be an expert?
But being an expert here would be an honor
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Jobs & Parenting Expert
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Feb 28, 2010, 09:13 PM
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Originally Posted by xXxEmOxXxPrInCeSsxXx
Yes WG, but in what would I be an expert?
We'll cross that bridge when we get to it. Anyone who writes (and thinks) as sensibly and as cogently as you do is definitely a keeper!
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Ultra Member
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Feb 28, 2010, 09:15 PM
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Glad to be in the keeper bucket for dinner and not thrown back!
"lame" fishing metaphor.
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