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dasefx · Feb 10, 2010, 07:05 AM

Me and my ex had a great 8-9 months of being together. Our only problem was that we were long distance so we only got to see each other every 1-2 months or so. She ended things with me on new years day stating she felt strangely bi polar about the whole thing. Some days she wanted to be in the relationship other days she didn't because of the distance. She wanted to step back for a little and be friends and try again later. I said I couldn't do it because after all we had its wouldve been too much to go back to being friends immediately. So I told her we should have one last meeting to say goodbye. So we did just that. Met up, talked, kissed, and said goodbye. We didn't talk for a month. I decided to start getting back in contact with her last week. It started with texts which she would respond to anywhere between 3-24 hours later. Then we were supposed to talk on the phone. She said Monday would be a good day so I called her a left a voicemail. She never called back. We then talked on IM and she said she hasn't been feeling well and that she was going to call me the next day. She never did. What I'm wondering is why is it that she will talk to me through texting and IM (even though its very small conversations) but doesn't seem interested in talking on the phone?

amicon · Feb 10, 2010, 07:14 AM

If she were interested in giving the relationship another go,she would be in proper communication with you. I think you should go back to NC and start living your own life.

Imabadman · Feb 10, 2010, 07:17 AM

Could be all sorts of reasons she doesn't want to talk to you directly. It's a crap shoot guessing and you're over analyzing the situation.

Look at her actions. She's not putting much effort, if any, into contacting you, you are making all the moves. You make plans, she cancels them or pulls a no-show. She has distanced herself. What else do you need to know or understand? Right now she's not into this relationship. You begging, pleading, and pushing will not help. You need a different game plan.

My advice is to let her go for now. Quit chasing her and disappear from her life. She may or may not come back to you. But as the situation is now you're living in a deceptive world where you believe you're getting back together and her actions say otherwise.

oh_donna39 · Feb 10, 2010, 07:25 AM

Texting, email, IM, can be a rather impersonal means of communicating. Talking on the phone however can become rather personal. On the phone you could potentially ask her about the future, and apparently right now she doesn't feel like talking about it. She texts, and IM's because obviously she wants to remain friends, she could also be doing it to keep you close in case she might someday want you back. But right now she apparently needs some time and space. I would give it to her… no pressure. Time could be all she needs.

talaniman · Feb 10, 2010, 11:30 AM

She is trying to be friendly, without giving you false hope, or leading you on.

You on the other hand are trying to get back with her, and totally ignoring her hints, she doesn't want a relationship with you.

Back off, and leave her alone, if you can't JUST be friends. I doubt if you can, nor should you try at this time, since you want more than that.