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    pitty me's Avatar
    pitty me Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Feb 8, 2010, 06:11 AM
    My girlfriend asked me to accept me and another man
    I've been with my girl for 3 1/2 years. I love her and she says she loves me. I recently found out she was seeing another guy. She wants me to accept her and this guy as well as our relationship. She says she feels sorry for him and he is a good man. After lenghty discussions she revealed they did it(sex). My heart fell to the floor. She insists she only loves me but feels sorry for this guy. I told her he must go. She said give me time. Its now been 2 months and she still talks to him on the phone daily and I'm pretty pissed. 2 days ago we had an almighty argument over it and I did not contact till today. I asked in my text if she still loves me as number one. She replied yes. Always. Then she asks if I will accept them in our relationship. What do I do. (its not a 3 some sutuation at once situation) just a distant "feel sorry for this guy" thing. What do I do?
    Romefalls19's Avatar
    Romefalls19 Posts: 4,739, Reputation: 1130
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    #2

    Feb 8, 2010, 06:33 AM

    So she is asking you to accept another guy that she is going to date? Or to accept him as a friend? Personally, I wouldn't be doing either, she cheated on you if I read this correctly and now wants you to be okay with this?
    I wish's Avatar
    I wish Posts: 5,296, Reputation: 2030
    Family & People Expert
    		  
    #3

    Feb 8, 2010, 06:39 AM

    You mean she wants you to accept the fact that she's going to have 2 boyfriends? Say that to yourself and let us know if that makes sense.

    Time to walk away. You're not her priority anymore.
    HistorianChick's Avatar
    HistorianChick Posts: 2,556, Reputation: 825
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    #4

    Feb 8, 2010, 07:38 AM

    If it is OK with you to share her affection, then I guess I'd say keep going the way you're going.

    If you feel that you (rightly) deserve all of your girlfriend's love and affection, then you need to walk away.

    People do what they want to do. If she wanted to stop seeing this guy, she would. This whole "I feel sorry for him" is just an excuse to get jiggy with someone else. She doesn't want to stop seeing him.

    You shouldn't have to share your girlfriend. You deserve to be the only man in her life.
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
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    #5

    Feb 8, 2010, 08:01 AM

    She feels sorry for him?
    What a sad excuse.
    Time to walk away,you don't have to cater to someone who wants to eat her cake and keep it.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #6

    Feb 8, 2010, 08:24 AM

    You may be number 1, but not the only one.

    Its absurd to even be in her harem of guys, pity or not.
    duece22022's Avatar
    duece22022 Posts: 17, Reputation: 4
    New Member
    		  
    #7

    Feb 8, 2010, 10:52 AM

    Tell her she can be your #2. for putting you through this.
    Imabadman's Avatar
    Imabadman Posts: 303, Reputation: 135
    Full Member
    		  
    #8

    Feb 8, 2010, 11:39 AM

    Personally, speaking for myself, I would walk away. She cheated on you and now wants you to compromise your morals and values to gratify her. Screw that!

    Of course the decision is yours. If you like sharing your significant other with some other guy… great, you're much stronger willed than I am. I see the situation for what it is. She's a cheater, a liar, and a tramp and you my friend are enabling her by accepting this behavior.
    spitvenom's Avatar
    spitvenom Posts: 1,266, Reputation: 373
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    #9

    Feb 8, 2010, 11:47 AM

    THIS IS GOING TO BE HARSH

    Go into your girlfriends purse get your b@lls back and leave. I don't mean to be crude but you have accepted this for 2 months C'MON MAN!!
    kctiger's Avatar
    kctiger Posts: 3,653, Reputation: 1319
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    #10

    Feb 8, 2010, 01:02 PM

    I think the biggest issue here is that you lack the self confidence to realize that this kind of situation is completely unacceptable - furthermore you are actually letting her dictate YOUR life right now.

    Do NOT sell your soul to the devil. If you were watching a movie with this same scenario going down, what would you think or feel?

    This isn't a "feel sorry for this guy" situation... it is a "like having sex with multiple guys" situation. See your way out of it immediately. How many guys will she feel sorry for in the future?
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