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NightShadeX2 · Nov 22, 2006, 02:42 PM

OK this is a big issue with me... im a 17 year old male... im going out with a 15 year old girl... young I know so please don't lecture me about that. OK 3 weeks ago I ask my girlfriend out... but 1-2 weeks before that she broke up with her ex cause he was cheating on her.so a week later that she broke up with him I asked her out. Everything was going on great until she started saying stuff like how she misses him on like what they did. Like he called her over and played a song when she came over. Gave her roses and all that. My question is... does she want to be with him more than me?and is there anything I can do to make our relationship more appealing than her ex's? She says she'll won't leave me but the thing is I don't know if she's telling me the truth... or she's just saying that cause she doesn't want to hurt me? What should I do? I'm nothing with out this girl.:( and I want this to last longer than the BS relationships that I've had. If anyone can help then id really appreciate it! When it comes to relationships... im really insecure cause I've been hurt many times... but any who reads this help me... should I let her go back with him to make her happy or do I stick with her and make her happy? What do I do?

Thank you

Tim

Broken · Nov 22, 2006, 07:24 PM

Try your hardest to make it work and show your better then what she had. I mean Make her feel like a princess. I did that to my ex and she still tells me when ever I do talk to her how she misses it how the new guy she's with doenst do that. The only problem is I wish shed leave the new guy for me but like I said try if things don't change say by 2 months of making her feel like a princess then let her go that's the best advice I can give u. before you get to hurt if you break up.

Krs · Nov 23, 2006, 02:15 AM

Seems to me like she with you on a rebound relationship. Sorry.

Try commincating with her. Ask her why she mentions her ex so much to you.
Comparing 1 to another is very unhealthy, explain to her that you feel uncomfortable when she does and she what her reaction.

Bare in mind 15 is very young, she herself could be unsure of what she wants right now.

posheak · Nov 24, 2006, 04:11 PM

She is confused. Obviously, she still has "feeling-leftovers" for his ex. This happened to me, and I want to say the greatest lesson I learned from it is not to become selfish. I was thinking of my own comfort, my own feelings. You came into her life, just when she needed someone to help rebuild herself. Don't take this too personally, because I am speaking in behalf of my own experience. Listen the problem isn't with you, so you need not try hard to please her and make yourself "her only one". She still has issues to face and conquer before she can ride another relationship with you dearie. Talk to her and open these things up so you both help each other grow and learn. I know its hard to deal with but it will be much harder if you pretend not to be hurt and then just please and please here. They say you really love someone if you want her to be happy, even if in her happiness, you're not a part of it. ARe you willing to let her go? Does she want to? She's young yes, but she has a heart and a mind that know what she truly wants.

I really suggest you go talk to her in the most honest and sincere way.

phillysteakandcheese · Nov 24, 2006, 09:55 PM

I think this is a lesson in "Trust".

If you don't "trust" her when she says says she wants to be with you, how can you "trust" her on anything else she tells you? Like - When she is out with friends, or away visiting someone else, or even talking with her ex?

You have to be your own person, and do your best to treat her right, and "trust" that your feeling are not just being used as the gap for the breakup. If you don't trust her, you won't have the lasting relationship you want. If you do trust her, you open yourself up again to being hurt.

The question you have to answer: Is she trustworthy?

Your post suggests to me that she is not, but only you can determine the answer to that.

Italiantim · Dec 6, 2006, 04:01 PM

Worry about things just don't let her know... you are still everything without her... have confidence in yourself... but still treat her like a princess... she sounds like she is an honest girl, but she could make a mistake... she does miss her ex. Because she has had probably a longer relationship with him... or something... just be their for her, talk to her, and give her time to come around... she respects you. Let her go if she breaks her promise.

oblit · Dec 6, 2006, 07:18 PM

Usually when a girl throws this type of curveball, its either a test or a sign of some very deep emotion. My guess is that this is the latter. My younger sister just turned 16, and its almost the same thing. You have to think about it as she may be dumping her emotions on you because she feels OK to talk to you about this thing in a good way or a bad way. My guess, sad to say, is still the latter. What you need to do to keep your relationship alive is keep on challenging her when she is not in a somber mood. Make her think about you, and how to keep you, not about going back to her ex.

eisforx · Dec 7, 2006, 09:20 PM

I hate ex boyfriends stuff.
You should tell her how you feeel about it. If she really wants you and cares about you. She'll do something about it. Because she should care about your feelings. And she'll at least won't talk to you about him and try to not talk to him that much. You can't tell her who to be friends with. But you have to trust her she won't do anything that you wouldn't like. Like cheating on you with her ex boyfriend. She has to be truthful and not lie to you. And trusthworthy. She seems honest, so she'd tell you if she wants to go back to him, so you have to ask her. Ask her if she still loves him and wants him instead of you. Because you don't want to waste your time with someone that doesn't love you.