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talaniman · Feb 5, 2010, 11:50 AM

Lose the guilt, this was a joint venture and maybe you did cross the line, but its done. Back away and see what happens when next you meet.

Most times friends in this situation after consideration, just act like it never happened.

Don't assume facts that aren't there, since you don't know how she feels yet, but don't push.

This is a wait and see thing, but do carry on with your life, and be careful around alcohol.

Maybe that's the whole point behind this adventure, watch your drinking in the future.

itried · Feb 5, 2010, 01:25 PM

Thanks for all your help, you guys.

I'm going to see if we can at least have a chat in the near future. I guess what this all boils down to is that I just don't want her to think I used her. That's all.

I'll keep you posted.

neverme · Feb 5, 2010, 01:35 PM

That's fair enough and admirable but remember that she may not want to talk about it.

And a word to the wise: Don't let it be your opener ;)

itried · Feb 8, 2010, 10:52 AM

So, I saw her over the weekend and it was quite strange. She acted like she didn't even know what I was talking about and she laughed about the whole thing. I feel foolish about it now and for some reason I'm embarrassed about the whole thing.

I think she's lying about not remembering what happened but I don't want to deal with it. After seeing her and how she treated the whole thing I don't really think it's worth my time at all.

Whatever.

redhed35 · Feb 8, 2010, 10:58 AM

Originally Posted by itried

So, I saw her over the weekend and it was quite strange. She acted like she didn't even know what I was talking about and she laughed about the whole thing. I feel foolish about it now and for some reason I'm embarrassed about the whole thing.

I think she's lying about not remembering what happened but I don't want to deal with it. After seeing her and how she treated the whole thing I don't really think it's worth my time at all.

Whatever.

Don't forget it was 4 months before you to spoke to her about it,she said she loved you,and you ignored that,you rejected her with your silence.

She has a boyfriend now,and perhaps it once was an issue for her,but not now.

You have feelings for her,by laughing it off,you feel rejected?

Instead of an 'whatever ' attitude what did you learn?

Good friends are hard to come by,maybe you both can get back to that.

talaniman · Feb 8, 2010, 11:34 AM

Her signal is clear, forget about it.

Quote by Talaniman
Most times friends in this situation after consideration, just act like it never happened.

Told you so.:D

itried · Feb 8, 2010, 12:05 PM

I never rejected her, because I replied in kind when she said it to me. Also, she was with her current boyfriend when this all happened. I tried to get together with her a few times in the meanwhile and it never worked out. I'm not the bad guy here.

That she's being nonchalant and acting like it never happened and even surprised by my mention of it. I know full well that she does but I don't want to press the issue.

Women come and go, and in the end it was her who threw herself at me, not the other way around. I just needed to know what she felt about the whole thing. It's not like we're strangers and have hide certain facts from each other. We've known each other for long enough that we can skip the whole preamble. I could try with her and if I don't it makes no difference to me. A lot was said that night so I can't believe for a second that she doesn't remember.

For two people to know each other for so long, and for something like this to happen between them is no small thing. The time between is irrelevant. If she wants to work on her relationship with this guy that's fine by me. However, she did cheat on him right at the beginning with me and this tells me all I need to know about her attitude going in to this relationship.

I wish · Feb 8, 2010, 12:08 PM

Regardless of how long you've known her, she's a cheater.

Whether she comes or goes, she's not interested in pursuing anything more with you.

That one night sounds like a one night stand to me.

itried · Feb 8, 2010, 12:11 PM

Yeah. The whole cheating thing is true. But I should have mentioned that it's not the first time this has happened between us. There was a gap of almost a year between the last time and the time before that. She was single the first time we had a night. I should have mentioned this before. It's kind of crucial, in hindsight.

I wish · Feb 8, 2010, 12:15 PM

Originally Posted by itried

Yeah. The whole cheating thing is true. But I should have mentioned that it's not the first time this has happened between us.

Even worse, this isn't the first time and she's pretending not to remember what happen? Do you still think that she takes you seriously?

What exactly do you want from her? Doesn't she have a boyfriend anyway?

Boyfriend = Off-limits

Do you still want to be the guy that she cheats with (even if you did it while she was single)?

itried · Feb 8, 2010, 12:21 PM

I don't really take it too seriously either. It's just that I'd rather just stay friends with her, in the end. In all the years I've known her I never once thought of her as relationship material at all and this whole ordeal solidifies my opinion of her in that respect. She didn't deny the first incident, but obviously only because she was single and pretty happy that I was newly single as well. This second time is more than likely weighing on her conscience because she's been with this new guy a little bit longer and she feels guilty about cheating. Like I said before, whatever. It's me who doesn't take her seriously in the end. I know her too well, so I can see what it is that she's doing.

itried · Feb 8, 2010, 12:37 PM

I never told her I wanted anything from her. It's not a big deal if I get with her or if I don't. It just doesn't matter. My whole perspective on this is that I've been friends with her for quite some time. Because of this, it would be nice for things to not be awkward whenever we do see each other again.

Just because I told her that I loved her back, doesn't mean I want a relationship from her. It is possible. I could go either way. She's done the same, hasn't she?

friend4u178 · Feb 8, 2010, 03:38 PM

If the only thing that really matters is you just want to be friends like before , don't mention it again.

She obviously doesn't want to hear about it and has already brushed it aside in her mind , if she thinks every time she see's you there's a chance of it resurfacing then I could understand why she'd try to avoid you.