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kayasmommy4109 · Feb 3, 2010, 09:37 AM

This is my second pregnancy my daughter is 10 months old and I am 6 months pregnant. I was never this emotional and hateful with my daughter, I am so stressed and upset all the time. I can't stand to hear my daughter cry or scream it just makes me so upset. I don't want to be mad at her when she does it because she is only a baby but I can't help it. My mood swings are starting to effect how I take care of my daughter in a negative way. And I have tried to talk to my kids father but he just says I need to control it and I cant. Does any one have any ideas to help with the stress and mood swings so this pregnancy can stop effecting my daughter?
Thanks in advance

thisisit · Feb 3, 2010, 10:04 AM

You might need professional help. I hope you don't mind, but I need to ask a few questions. Was this a planned pregnancy? Was it an accident? Is the babies' father the same? Is your mother or other relative available to help?

MsMewiththat · Feb 3, 2010, 10:18 AM

The danger here is that this isn't something that is in your control. You are experiencing some hormonal changes that may come from your pregnancies being so close. The body takes time after a pregnancy to rebalance. How were you feeling after your first pregnancy? Do you recall feeling like "yourself" or did the mood change at that point?
I think you should get some advice and consult from your OB/GYN, who maybe able to refer you to a MH Dr. who could possibly perscribe something to stabilize your mood.
Are you safe in your home and comfortable discussing these things and get some help with your daughter with/from someone in your life?

kayasmommy4109 · Feb 4, 2010, 12:38 PM

I was fine after I had my daughter I did feel like myslf, no this wasn't a planned or wanted pregnancy. I have talked to my dr and he doesn't see any reason to medicate me. My daughters father doesn't really help he is a great father but isn't really home a lot (and no when he is home he is fine with her its just me). There really isn't any one to help my parents work late and his mom says that I should be able to take care of her, and to get over it. I just feel so help less and find myself at my breaking point almost every day... we are having a lot of problems at home since we had to move in to my daughters fathers mothers because our house became "ice locked" and the people who came from our insurance company said it wasn't safe to be in the house. So we all are crowed and its taking a huge toll on me.

MsMewiththat · Feb 4, 2010, 12:56 PM

The living arrangement probably has a lot to do with some of the stress and pressure. Be careful too that with everyone telling you to get over it and that what you are feeling isn't real that you don't make the matter worse by attempting to prove that you are right? <-does that make any sense?
Just take things one day at a time and realize that this is temporary. It will get better and stress and pressure will subside.
Here's the other thing. Your baby Dr. has one objective to assist in you having a healthy baby. Most don't see medication as something they want to introduce during pregnancy. Anti depressants have been proving to be OK, but I'm not sold on them during pregnancy.
I would recommend keeping a journal. Not just of what you are doing day to day but of your feelings in depth. Read what you have written and see if you are making in progress in your emotions. This will also help when you go to your Dr. It will give you something that you can share with him to support your current mindset. IF it continues to be a major issue consider seeing a Dr for you. Not your OBGYN, but a GP that may be able to refer you to a MH specialist or provide a health choice perscription for you during pregnancy. Take one day at a time and don't forget to relax.

kayasmommy4109 · Feb 4, 2010, 02:30 PM

Thank you so much, I will try to do everything I can. I am looking into yoga classes and things that can help with the stress level and also give me time for me. The journal seems like a good idea too.. thank you so much again

thisisit · Feb 4, 2010, 02:53 PM

Its got to be terribly stressful living with your in laws, in your condition. 10 month olds cry sometimes. They have teething issues and sometimes tummy aches from trying new foods... When your daughter cries, try to take a few deep breaths and realize she is not crying just to get under your skin, and neither is she judging you. When she cries, try talking softly to her as you go about tending to her needs and it might help her to settle down and quiet down so she can hear your words. Good luck and I hope your situation changes for the better soon

kayasmommy4109 · Feb 8, 2010, 09:04 AM

The situation has gotten so much better thank you all so much for your help my daughter is teething cutting 4 on top and just got 2 on the bottum so she is gruppy we have been spending more time together bonding going to a mommy and me yoga class and to play dates our house should be live able again in 3 months so just in time for the new baby who is a girl we found out on Friday. Once again thank you so much