[Alty]

It's hard, i feel that way too. But I have to put my emotions aside, and think of the animals. I dred going in there, everyday it takes everything I have inside of me to go in there and see those babies. But... if not me, then who?

Aurora, right now I want to hug you. You are a very strong person, far stronger then me.

I volunteered at the humane society years ago. I cleaned out stalls, walked dogs, played and socialized the bunnies and cats. I also volunteered to help with the euthanizing of animals, mainly because I wanted them to feel loving arms around them during those last minutes of their lives. I couldn't bear to think that they weren't being held, hugged, petted, told of their worth while the needle was going in. So I sucked it up and did it.

I couldn't take it. I did it for a long time and would come home crying every day. I started getting depressed, wanting to bring home every animal scheduled to die. My husband felt my pain because he's the same way. To this day he has a hard time going to he Humane society, even if we're going there to adopt. He can't face the fact that we're only taking home one and not all.

You my dear are a wonderful person. Thank you for being strong enough and brave enough to do this. If there is a heaven, then there's a special place there for people like you. It's with the animals you saved.

Darnit. Tears. :o

[Aurora_Bell]

Oh my, thank you. You know I k

[Aurora_Bell]

Ops sorry, You know I know how you feel. It IS depressing, and it's a vicious cycle, that keeps going. I think what you have done is admirable. I can't go in that "room".
Just being there and leaving empty handed is hard enugh, but every day I go there, I tell my slef, if not me , then who. I know it's silly, but honestly that little sentence gets me through. I want to take them all home too. I am contemplating a kitten, I am not a cat person...
Rescue has been the most emotioanlly draining but the most rewarding thing I have ever done.
Thank you Altenweg, that really means a lot. * wiping tears away*

[Alty]

ops sorry, You know I know how you feel. It IS depressing, and it's a vicious cycle, that keeps going. I think what you have done is admirable. I can't go in that "room".
Just being there and leaving empty handed is hard enugh, but every day I go there, I tell my slef, if not me , then who. I know it's silly, but honestly that little sentance gets me through. I want to take them all home too. I am contemplating a kitten, I am not a cat person...
Rescue has been the most emotioanlly draining but the most rewarding thing I have ever done.
Thank you Altenweg, that really means alot. * wiping tears away*

Please call me Alty, that's what my friends on this site call me. :)

The reason why I went into that room was because I also thought "if not me, then who". Most times, unless someone volunteers, it's just the person administering the needle and someone that helps restrain the animal. Most times these people just perform the task at hand. Not because they're cold, or uncaring, but because they have to harden their hearts or risk having them break altogether.

Not many of the volunteers will go back there. I had to. I didn't want these animals dying on a cold steel table, being held down, pricked with a needle, without hearing the voice of someone that loves them, being petted, loved, comforted.

The hardest case I ever attended was a labrador. They called him Lucky at the shelter. He was a black lab, around 7 years old. He'd been in the shelter for over 1 year and he was going cage crazy. You can see the transition happen. First they're happy go lucky, they great or bark at everyone that comes in to see them. They're eager to go for walks and love being petted. Sadly there aren't enough volunteers to give them the attention they need. Soon they just wag their tails at the people that come in. They have to be coaxed to come out for walk. If they spend too much time locked up in a cage without enough companionship they start to go crazy, like anyone would. The signs are so clear and so sad. They no longer even raise their heads when people come in. They just sit in a corner of their cage, their eyes down, like they're lost in their own little world. Even calling them doesn't elicit a response. Petting, cuddling, it's all ignored or met with growling, sometimes snapping.

Why am I explaining this to you? You already know.

Anyway, Lucky had gone cage crazy. I had developed a relationship with him. I was usually the volunteer who walked him and cleaned his cage so I was asked to get him to bring him to the death room (that's what I call it). I went into his cage, called his name. Nothing. I attached the leash to his collar, gave him a treat which he ignored and then I just sat beside him and hugged him, petted him and cried.

With a lot of coaxing he followed me out of the pen and down the hall to the room. Every step I took made my heart beat harder. My feet felt like lead. I wanted to run out the closest door and take Lucky home with me. I couldn't do it. I had two dogs at home and Lucky was dog aggressive, although at that point in his life he probably wouldn't have even noticed them.

We got to the room and the vet and helper lifted Lucky onto the steel table. Lucky didn't even resist.

The vet got the needle ready and the helper held Lucky to prevent him from jumping off the table.

I grabbed a chair and sat down right by Lucky's head, started stroking him and through my tears I told him how much I loved him, how much joy he had brung to my life. I told him what a good dog he was, that it wasn't his fault and that he was going to a much better place. A place without bars, without the constant hope that someone will love him and take him home.

The vet inserted the needle and right before she depressed the plunger, Lucky lifted his head, looked at me and licked my face. Soon after that he fell asleep, never to wake up again.

Okay, now I'm bawling.

I could use a hug right about now.

[Aurora_Bell]

I am hugging you with all I have Alty. Every thing I have.
I have felt that pain, it's un forgetable, it's unimaginable especially for those who have walked that line.
You know that post from one person who said it was stupid to spay and neuter, I lost my mind. This can be stopped, but unfortuantly never will because of attitudes like thatl.
I am lucky to be at the shelter where I am, almost all of the dogs get adopted. Don't get me wrong, I have spent my fair share of time in those cages before they get hauled off. I have my fair share of bites from cage crazy dogs. Is it their fault? No, it's one,because all it takes is ONE person to ruin a dogs or cats life.
It's a pain that lingers, and is un consolable.
There is a saying, I can't remember how it goes, it is late here or early...
But it basically boils down to picking the lesser of two evils.
Alty, if you believe there is a heaven for me, then I know you will be there too!
That confort you gave to Lucky, was all he ever wanted in life, and you were the special one to give it to him
Bless you.
You have saved the lives of the ones you have, and that is more then anyone can ask of ONE person.

[Alty]

Okay, now I'm bawling and my nose is running. It's not pretty! ;)

Thank you Aurora.

It was shortly after Lucky that I stopped volunteering. I just couldn't let myself get that attached again. It was like losing one of my dogs. Actually, they all are.

Right now I'm going through the dreaded, old dog, is it time, when will I know syndrome.

Our Indy, Black lab/border collie, is 14 years old. Actually, he'll be 15 come April. He's deaf, He's almost completely blind (can only see objects very close up) and he's losing strength in his back legs. He huffs and puffs like Darth Vader, has trouble even getting up from a sitting position, has forgotten all potty training (which really doesn't matter to me, but still, I've stepped in so much poo that I had to buy 2 dozen knew pairs of socks ;)) and sleeps around 20 hours a day.

He's not in pain, other then the few times he slips because of his weak hind legs. He's not senile and he still loves being a part of our family, getting hugs and kisses, belly scratches and treats (which we give him often because of his age).

I've been on the edge of making the appointment for so long now that I feel like I've placed him on death row and I keep giving him an appeal.

I don't want to do it. If I'm honest, I don't think I can handle doing it.

This is a member of my family. He's my first baby, the first pet (and I hate the word pet because he's so much more then that) that my husband and I got together. For 3 years he was the only other living creature in our house. He slept with us, he grew with us, he went everywhere with us. He's been through 2 children, 2 more dogs, 4 bunnies, hamsters, birds, fish, you name it. He's survived it all with us.

How can I sign his death warrant?

I just wish he would look at me and make it clear, perfectly clear, that it's time.

This is the only thing I absolutely hate about having a dog.

Sorry to vent. Today has been a hard day with Indy so it's been on my mind and I just have to get it out.

Boy am I a downer. ;)

[Aurora_Bell]

Vent away my dear!
It has to be the hardest time in any pet owners life. It just litteraly tears you up in side. Alty the position that you are in right now is like being on an emotional roller coster.
Indy is in a great home, and the quality of life you are giving him right now, is far better then most dogs receive in their whole lives. My parents have always had animals, from the day I was born probably until they day they die. It never gets any easier, every animal holds a special place in your heart, and trying to decide "when it's time" has got to be the worst position you could be in. We had a German Shephard, Aulsky, this dog was my best friend growing up. We lived in the country, and I didn't have a lot of friends, this dog was by my side day and night. One day I got up, he must have been about 11, I was probably the same age at the time, and he couldn't get up, at first we didn't realize anything was wrong, so my mom was making breakfast, I was getting dressed, and the poor boy was crying and crying, he was in so much distress you could see him attempting to get up, but he just couldn't budge. My mother was making breakfast and I was getting ready to go out side and he started to panic, he was howling, yelping like he was in pain. I went over to check him out, and he was laying on his pillow that was soaked in urine, I ran and got my mother, we tried and tried to coax him but, but he just wouldn't budge. He cryed and whined, licking the air, he was in so much distress. The vet said he suffered a stroke through the night, and he wouldn't be able to walk again. The vet explained that if we decided to keep him alive, his quality of life would not be very good. We did take him home, we spent the next few days trying to make him as comfortable as possible, we had to rotate him so he wouldn't get sores on one side, we bathed him, brushed him, giving him hugs and kisses. 4 days went by like this, and you could see the despair in his eyes. As a dog owner yourself you could only imagine how he must have felt, not being able to join us with our daily activities. It got a to a point where he couldn't swallow his treats or food, he wasn't eating or drinking, he was chewing on his paws, he was increadibly depressed.
The time had come. That drive to the vet was the hardest drive we as a family had ever taken. The worst part was my father was away over seas while all of this was going on. My mother and I stood on either side of him, he was licking our hands, it was like he was consoling US.
Since then we have had to put down 3 other dogs due to old age, and one cat. Let me tell you it never gets any easier.
Nobody has he words that will take your pain away, but I think it's good to feel that, as much as it hurts.
*hugs* *hugs* *hugs*
Any time you need to vent, I am usually on here, I think I am addicted, maybe I should start posting in the addictions column :s

[JudyKayTee]

I have held every one of my dogs in my arms as it left this life with the exception of one that died on the surgical table. I've seen the light leave their eyes, they've passed listening to my voice, I've held them after they've left. It's never been a case of convenience and always a case of absolutely no hope being left.

My husband grew up as an isolated child. He never had a pet of any sort and when we married I had three dogs, one of which became "his dog." She absolutely adored him and they were inseparable - he would come home from Dialysis and she would be waiting to sit on his lap. He went through countless surgeries, many near death experiences, endless hospitalizations - and she patiently waited for him. I used to sit next to his hospital bed and tell him the funny things she did.

The only time I ever saw my husband cry was the day she died. He did not believe in an afterlife but the day before he passed, when he was in the coma, when I said good-bye, I said, "Please come back to me if you can. But if you can't, if you've had enough - Cassie is waiting for you." And he sort of smiled.

The only peace I got for a very long time was knowing that wherever they are, they are together again, and I do believe that.

No question - animals touch our hearts and make us better people for loving them.

The only thing I can add is that sometimes death and the peace that comes with it is a blessing - and I have tried to focus on that.

I've posted before that I had a much loved yellow Lab, Sam. He was my heart dog. I read this thread last night just before I went to bed and for the first time I had dreams about Sam - comforting, peaceful dreams about him. I woke up smiling.

I believe that there are two choices in life - never love anything/anybody and never suffer loss and/or grief OR love with your whole heart, know grief and loss could follow - but never regret a moment. I have chosen the second path.

{{ hugs to all }}

[Aurora_Bell]

Judy!
I am bawling my eyes out right now!
You have a wonderful outlook on life.
You have such a wonderful way with words, you have stated everything I felt and wanted to convey in my post, but didn't know how to get it out.
I have a much easier time with animals, then with humans!
I am starting to take my daughter to the shelter with me and she plays with the kitties, I don't know if I am doing the right thing or not, but I just really want to teach her compassion towards animals. I want her to be responsible, and know what is right and wrong.
I want her to make the right choices when the time comes for her to own her own animals. Ya I know she is 2, but I figure, might as well start now!

[JudyKayTee]

Of COURSE you are doing the right thing - she is learning compassion and that animals can be hurt, too, and, more importantly, she will follow your example.

And then another generation can pick up the torch.

[Alty]

Of COURSE you are doing the right thing - she is learning compassion and that animals can be hurt, too, and, more importantly, she will follow your example.

And then another generation can pick up the torch.

Maybe on day a future generation will solve the problem of over population, lack of education and homeless pets. Maybe one day there will be no more puppy mills and backyard breeders.

We can only hope that they are the ones that find a solution, that they carry on in the footsteps of those that started the fight for animals, the right for them all to have a home, to be safe and loved, to live.

I know that this is my hope. My children are already following in my footsteps. Actually, they take it too far at times. To them, every living thing in trouble needs to be brought to me to fix. As a result I often have wounded moths, grasshoppers, worms, butterflies, a few mice, birds, spiders, you name it, in my home or garage. I'm sorry but the mice, bugs and worms had to stay in the garage! ;)

Even though there are times that I wonder what the heck I've started, I have to say that I'm proud of them. They're also educating the other kids. Sydney explained to another little girl in the neighborhood that spiders aren't something to be afraid of. She picked it up, showed the little girl and before she knew it, around 10 kids were all gathered around fascinated that little 5 year old Sydney (she was 5 at the time) wasn't afraid. They started to question why they were.

They are our future and it's what we teach them that will shape them into the wonderful human beings they all have the potential to be.

Going to go hug my kids now, and my dogs, my rabbits, the bird. Can you hug a fish? Probably not right? ;)

[Aurora_Bell]

:)

[JudyKayTee]

Well, "our" generation - at least in my area - has made headway. Dogs/cats are no longer sold from the local Animal Shelter for experimentation AND all animals which are adopted MUST be neutered. The shelter itself neuters/spays as many as it can and the few that cannot be neutered/spayed before adoption are tracked to make sure the surgery is done.

And people are more and more aware to adopt from a shelter instead of buying. Hopefully this is hurting backyard breeders.

[Aurora_Bell]

I hope so too Judy, unfortuantly I think here is so many more ignorant people out there, who honestly just don't know any better. And then there are those people, who just won't spay or neuter, their dog gets pregnant, and next thing you know they are running adds on the internet selling their mixed breeds for $300+
They say they love their animals, but refuse to do anything to HELP their animals.

In our shelter, they do the spay neuter, if the kittens or puppies are too young, they make the new owners sign a contract and give a voucher for a free vet check up, and usually $20-$40 off their spay or neuter. If the people refuse to spay or neuter by a certain age, the animals get taken away. It really burns me when people come up with the excuse that they just don't have the money right now...

Lucky, do you think (and I would love to think) that the GSP above was a hunting accident, and when he was struck he took off, and maybe there is a hunter looking for him somewhere?
I know it's looking at the glass half full, but it would be nice to know that this was the scenario.

[Emily94]

I know where I'm from pets at the shelter are neutered and if not old enough they pay for the whole thing plus the first vet appointment( even if the dog is 6 the first time you take it to the vet it's free!) it's only $165 to adopt, and to get a dog neutered here it's $250! So you get the dog for
Free and save $85 If only more people looked at it like this.

[Lucky098]

Lucky, do you think (and I would love to think) that the GSP above was a hunting accident, and when he was struck he took off, and maybe there is a hunter looking for him somewhere?
I know it's looking at the glass half full, but it would be nice to know that this was the scenario.

I highly doubt his condition was just an accident. If his wound was indeed a bullet wound, that could have happened for a number of reasons... The biggest reason with this breed would be because he doesn't hunt. Second possible reason could be the fact he gets out of things. He escaped our dog kennels, so he could have been a, "This is the last time you get away" type of scenario. Or even if he was accidentally injured, he still wasn't taken care of properly and maybe dumped for someone else to take care of him.

If only dogs could talk...

[shazamataz]

A lot of the Greyhound people take dogs that are not good enough to race out the backs of their properties and shoot them.
Sometimes it's fast, other times the dog is left to suffer.
I noticed at out local vets last time I went in a flyer for a new Greyhound rescue :)

[Kitkat22]

We have to cats from shelter. This picture of that poor dog makes me sick. My dad always said, "Anybody who would hurt an animal, would do the same to a child". He raised beagles and all of us had our own little dog. Bless the people who help these animals and I sincerely hope the person who did this gets a severe case of the guilts.

[Aurora_Bell]

Maybe a severe case of some disease, that makes him get lost in the woods while he is out hunting.

Unfortuanlty, he probably won't get the guilts, I don't think people like that have the proper thought process to have emotion like normal functioning human beings.
THis may sound aweful, but I wish in this case that the dog was one of the many found tied to the shelter door. At least he would have been taken in right away, and he wouldn't have had to have suffered that aweful "accident".

[Kitkat22]

I think whoever did this should be neuetered with no anethesia. Just along sharp instrument.