Ask Experts Questions for FREE Help !
Ask
    sergie's Avatar
    sergie Posts: 149, Reputation: 15
    -
    		  
    #1

    Feb 1, 2010, 02:35 AM
    Beer warnings!
    Due to increasing products liability litigation, American beer brewers have
    Accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed
    Immediately on all beer containers:

    1. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra.

    2. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

    3. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.

    4. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.

    5. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

    6. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that
    Ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

    7. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite seks without spitting.

    8. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your a$$ kicked.

    9. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary.

    10. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.

    11. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

    12. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.

    13. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

    14. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in the time-space continuum, whereby gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.
    Just Dahlia's Avatar
    Just Dahlia Posts: 2,155, Reputation: 445
    Ultra Member
    		  
    #2

    Feb 1, 2010, 01:23 PM
    All true:)
    redhed35's Avatar
    redhed35 Posts: 4,221, Reputation: 1910
    Ultra Member
    		  
    #3

    Feb 1, 2010, 01:28 PM

    what!

    its all starting to make sense now...

    I call my second daughter my barcardi baby.

    barcardi + pill + vomit + forgettable sex = a baby!
    spitvenom's Avatar
    spitvenom Posts: 1,266, Reputation: 373
    Ultra Member
    		  
    #4

    Feb 1, 2010, 01:32 PM

    I miss college!!
    sergie's Avatar
    sergie Posts: 149, Reputation: 15
    -
    		  
    #5

    Feb 1, 2010, 06:40 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by redhed35 View Post
    what what!!

    its all starting to make sense now....

    i call my second daughter my barcardi baby.

    barcardi + pill + vomit + forgettable sex = a baby!
    You are very careless Redhead! But I just love it. :D
    Just Dahlia's Avatar
    Just Dahlia Posts: 2,155, Reputation: 445
    Ultra Member
    		  
    #6

    Feb 1, 2010, 07:22 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by redhed35 View Post
    what what!!

    its all starting to make sense now....

    i call my second daughter my barcardi baby.

    barcardi + pill + vomit + forgettable sex = a baby!
    At least it was Bacardi and not just generic Rum:D
    Catsmine's Avatar
    Catsmine Posts: 3,826, Reputation: 739
    Pest Control Expert
    		  
    #7

    Feb 1, 2010, 07:41 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Just Dahlia View Post
    At least it was Bacardi and not just generic Rum:D
    Does that make her a rumbum?
    inla_bomber's Avatar
    inla_bomber Posts: 17, Reputation: 2
    New Member
    		  
    #8

    Feb 1, 2010, 11:10 PM

    If your life is a result of a torn condom, should you take offence if your name is "Terry"?
    Unknown008's Avatar
    Unknown008 Posts: 8,076, Reputation: 723
    Uber Member
    		  
    #9

    Feb 5, 2010, 10:41 PM

    Good one Sergie. That'll make me more consider whether to taste beer one day or never... ;)
    sergie's Avatar
    sergie Posts: 149, Reputation: 15
    -
    		  
    #10

    Feb 7, 2010, 06:11 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Unknown008 View Post
    Good one Sergie. That'll make me more consider whether to taste beer one day or never... ;)
    There will be a day jerry! :)
    jmjoseph's Avatar
    jmjoseph Posts: 2,727, Reputation: 1244
    Ultra Member
    		  
    #11

    Feb 7, 2010, 06:22 PM

    Where were these warnings when I was still drinking? I could have used all of them except the bra one. I did, however, find some bras that were lost. And I did wake up beside something "scary", more than once. I would lock myself in her bathroom, and ask for breakfast. Something like bacon, or pancakes, that would slide under the door. Just kidding(barely).
    Catsmine's Avatar
    Catsmine Posts: 3,826, Reputation: 739
    Pest Control Expert
    		  
    #12

    Feb 7, 2010, 07:25 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by jmjoseph View Post
    Where were these warnings when I was still drinking?
    I was busy proving them when you were still drinking, or at least learning how.
    KC13's Avatar
    KC13 Posts: 2,556, Reputation: 99
    Ultra Member
    		  
    #13

    Feb 12, 2010, 12:07 PM

    Complete exaggeration. I've consumed plenty of alcohol in my time. #1, #6, & #10 have never happened to me. :D
Not your question? Ask your question View similar questions
 

Question Tools Search this Question
Search this Question:

Advanced Search

Add your answer here.


Check out some similar questions!

Recurring virus warnings [ 3 Answers ]

Every time I turn on my computer my anti virus software informs me that it detected and removed a virus but its always the same one. I am required to restart my computer each time to finish and I would like to know how I can remove this virus completely so that it doesn't have to be neutralized...

Skin Lightening Warnings and Info [ 0 Answers ]

How skin lightening products work There are two chemicals found in skin lightening products, Hydroquinone or Mercury. O Hydroquinone (C6H6O2) is a severely toxic and very powerful chemical used in photo processing, the manufacture of rubber and is an active agent in hair dyes. O Mercury...

Miranda Warnings [ 1 Answers ]

When Does A Non Custodial Environment Become A Custodial Environment?

New Central AC Needed. Tips? Warnings? [ 4 Answers ]

I live in south Florida, so a central AC is mandatory, to say the least, almost year round. The existing unit, about a ten year old Rheem with an 11 seer, 3 ton, is ready to be retired. We have decided to go with a whole new unit, (compressor and air handler). The compressor is located outside...

View more questions Search