[daphy_andy]

I have been working with this girl for roughly six months,ever since we met there has been a connection between us,whenever we hang out the times are always great,her boyfriend recently went away and whilst he was away,she asked me to go party with her,so I agreed,the night ended up with us staying together!what do I do now as she tells me she has always liked me and her relationship with her boyfriend is not going well!anyone that can help.. please do

[amicon]

She has a boyfriend,she is off limits.
She is also a cheater,and you should back off.

If she is unhappy in her relationship she should end it,
Not go behind her boyfriends back and hop into bed with somebody else.

[daphy_andy]

Hey amicon,thnks for the advice

It's a bit more comlex than just backing off,as she has not been happy with him for a long time,she told me what happened between us was ineviatable as she has always had feelings for me,she asked me if I want to be with her and I told her yes as I feel for her,I know I can make her happier than where she is now and she claims this is the first time she has ever cheated,she also says she is more than willing for us to sleep together again,in my eye if she really loved the guy she is with she wouldn't have slept with me,she also wanted to resign from our work but told me she doesn't want to as then she won't be seeing me as much! I don't however want to be the guy that ends a relationship.. I don't know what to do,I'm confused as it was not a one night stand!

[redhed35]

She slept with you behind her boyfriends back.

She's still with him,I suggest you back away,and find someone available and who does not play games.

Even if she does end her current relationship,she's going to need some time and space,do you want to be the rebound guy?

And if you were the boyfriend and you found out what had happened,how would you feel?

If it was ineviatable as she said,why not finish with the boyfriend first?

Perhaps there's more going on behind the scenes then you are privy too.

[I wish]

Bottom lines:

1) She's a cheater
2) She has a boyfriend

Nor matter how you try to justify it in your mind, those two facts won't change. What do you expect? For her to continue cheating? Or for her to break up?

If she wanted to break up, she would do it, it's not for you to force her to break up.

[zooropa1985]

Hope he doesn't find out lol

Silly boy

[Romefalls19]

First she has a boyfriend. Second, I hope he finds out because from where I'm from, you get hit for that. Why would you want her after she willingly cheats on her boyfriend, which means she would more than likely do the same to you

[zooropa1985]

First she has a boyfriend. Second, I hope he finds out because from where I'm from, you get hit for that. Why would you want her after she willingly cheats on her boyfriend, which means she would more than likely do the same to you

Yep I agree just have to spread the greens.

She is a skank and your just as bad, how would you feel if someone slept with your girlfriend?

[daphy_andy]

Thanks for all your input guys and girls,

If he does find out then I will get what I deserve,I take full responsibility for my actions,I know I would feel bad if I was in her boyfriends shoes,as it always hurts when someone betrays you,however there is reason for this and if he is losing her then maybe that's a sign they shouldn't be together!there has been many occasions where she could have cheated on him with me,however she oppressed what she wanted and I guess finally something has to give,we can't hold back on what we trully want forever!of course it is her decision to make on what she wants to do!and I don't think its any easy decision for her as she moved into a place with him about 2 months ago,
And zooropa-- don't be calling her a skank

[Romefalls19]

Daphy, he's calling it as he sees it. I feel the same way, she is a low girl, nothing more nothing less. If there were problems in her relationship then she should have ended it before laying down in someone else's bed

[daphy_andy]

Hey redhed35,
I realise all you have said,
However I don't see myself as the rebound guy as we have always had a connection and if she splits with him because she knows she can do better than him.. then that doesn't really make me the rebound guy as I know I can treat her much better than he does and we are more suited for each other!

[daphy_andy]

I see your point romefalls!
Udno,these sitiations are always tricky and that's why is always best to get an outsiders point view,I can understand that she's not happy with him and part of me thinks maybe she did what she did to see if I was really what she wanted,not that so that she broke up with her boyfriend only to realise she was lying to herself.. udno maybe I'm naïve

[I wish]

Think about it this way. If she was your girlfriend, how would you feel if she was doing these things behind your back with another guy.

How can you ever trust her?

[redhed35]

hey redhed35,
i realise all you have said,
however i dont see myself as the rebound guy as we have always had a connection and if she splits with him because she knows she can do better than him..then that doesnt really make me the rebound guy as i know i can treat her much better than he does and we are more suited for eachother!

OK,then if and when she breaks up with him,as he will be hurt,naturally,and he wants too talk to her,or just see her to sort stuff out,will you be OK with that?

Do you really honestly think,that if/when she ends it,things will be hunky dory,and happy ever after.

You may well be able to treat her better,but she is going to need time,regardless,if you're the next relationship 2 minutes after she has ended one,there's going to be problems.

If you want to be with her,fair enough,but let some time pass first.

[zooropa1985]

Ok lets give her the benefit of the doubt and say that maybe she wasn't happy with her boyfriend and that she felt a connection with you.

Does that give her the right to cheat?

Does that give you the right to sleep with her?

[daphy_andy]

Hey redhed,

If she did have to beak with him and he wanted to see her to sort things out and what have you,I would be fine with that,as certain things need to be said and done to understand!and I'm not the jealous type.. and I do understand that it would take time for us to be togther as people can't just come straight out of a relationship and into another,it takes time to reflect!I totally respect and understand this.. to the rest of the questions.. I will have to answer when I get home!
Thanks to all though!

[redhed35]

The problem really is daphy,she's still not single,she's still with the 'bad boyfriend' while you the good guy is still waiting.

[zooropa1985]

She claims she's not a cheater yet is willing to sleep with you again behind the bfs back... what does that say exactly?

How could you seriously trust the girl?

And if the boyfriend is so bad why is she still with him?

[adam_89]

You are just going to end up like her boyfriend you know? She will get tired of you and she will cheat on you. That is how her life will be from now on and you are just another guy in the mix. Maybe not though, maybe you are that one lucky guy who she will be with for the rest of her life and that is why she cheated. I really doubt it though. You should really be prepared for a beating though because I know if it was my girlfriend who slept with you, you would be left with a few broken knee caps and a face less recognizable.

[talaniman]

I have been working with this girl for roughly six months,ever since we met there has been a connection between us

That says it all! Everything is always so lovely and great in the beginning and many think that those strong feelings will last forever. Except in your case, the facts say otherwise because she is in a relationship, and you only have her word as to how bad it is, or why she still stays.

You only know what she tells you, and are quite gullible to think the words of a stranger are absolutely true. You can't go by great sex, or good times, because lust feels that great, until it fades, and you find out what you really have after the lust dies down.

That she would cheat on such a bad boyfriend tells you to see her actions more than her words, and lets get real, down the road, you will always be worried about her cheating on you, since you know for a fact she is capable.

When the lust is gone from your brain, (little head, and big head) you may not like what you see, as it feels so good now, but later, will not, it never does.

Your problems are just starting young fella, and you will see that great easy sex, is hardly what healthy adult relationships are built on.

Save yourself a lot of future grief, and get rid of the cheating skank who has made you the dude on the side, taking care of another guys business.

Worse, you have to work with this chick, no matter what happens down the road, and work is a lousy place to have to see an ex, when things don't work out.

I await your revelation. This is not complex at all to a clear, rational mind, which you don't have right now.

And no more excuses to justify hers or your actions, for being horn dogs. Do it the right way, or leave it alone, because whether the boyfriend finds out or not, there are terrible consequences to pay for doing the wrong thing.

Don't believe me? Its simple enough to prove! Tell her to kick the lousy boyfriend to the curb, and just be with you!!!! (doubt she will)