[Kia]

What does God say about dealing with selfish people , who may or may not even realize the depth of their behavior? I am talking about people who are so stuck in their ways, which are selfish, and no one has called them out on their behavior. They call themselves Christians, but operate for mostly their own self interest; even if they do something for someone else. If they do, they lie in wait to see if the person will com through for them. Then if they demand something on the spot, and the person doesn't do it, they make it personal and look for the time to revenge that person, since they feel they did so much for them in the past. They like to use the " do unto others..." phrase.

Or, all arguments with that person gets skewed to what you haven't done for them all of the time, and not addressing the wrong that they did.

I am also asking because I really hae been trying to alter my behavior to act more like a Christian, and to live a more Christian lifestyle. I am not sure however if a certain person in my life is being manipulative and taking advantage of my kindness because of this. I want to love and be forgiving, but I do not feel I should be dumped on or manipulated.

So is the christian way to let it go, and continue to treat the person in a loving way? Or am
I being weak by taking their behavior towards me?

Thanks for your help!:)

[frostybabygurl]

I think you should do what feels right for you. We're only human and we can only take so much until we feel like we're going to explode. I believe that as christian as it may be to forgive, there has got to be some limits otherwise people will take advantage of you and walk all over you. Maybe you should distance yourself from the person that you're speaking of. It's not wrong to want to be treated right.

[450donn]

No one ever said that Christians were perfect. Only forgiven.
If you are having a problem with another Christian then it is your duty to first pray, then go to that person and in a loving way confront them. Tell them what the problem is as you see it and ask them to pray about it with you. If they refuse, then you know where they stand. Most will want to pray and seek forgiveness for their acts.

[sndbay]

I trust we can only love one another, and be forgiving toward each other. But I agree that distance is usually a wise choice. You can forgive from a distance, and it also examples your knowledge gained in learning from your experience.

The scriptures are very clear in saying yoke yourself with Christ, and follow HIM, in a path of righteousness.

Live as an example, not judging the heart of a person, but discerning right from wrong in their daily actions.

Scripture offers an explanation of members that are cut off because of wrong doings. This is one person as the member of the ONE body of Christ. One member can cause reaping for all members by staying joined together.

Mark 9:43 And if thy hand offend thee, cut it off: it is better for thee to enter into life maimed, than having two hands to go into hell, into the fire that never shall be quenched.

And of course the opposite is true of a member coming forward to be one with everyone in One Body with Christ. The path to come should never be closed.

Mark 9:40-41-42 For he that is not against us is on our part. For whosoever shall give you a cup of water to drink in my name, because ye belong to Christ, verily I say unto you, he shall not lose his reward. And whosoever shall offend one of these little ones that believe in me, it is better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and he were cast into the sea.

~in Christ

[sndbay]

No one ever said that Christians were perfect.

rebuke.. edifying in the name of Christ Jesus

Hebrew 7:19 For the law made nothing perfect, but the bringing in of a better hope did; by the which we draw nigh unto God.

Hebrew 12:23 To the general assembly and church of the firstborn, which are written in heaven, and to God the Judge of all, and to the spirits of just men made perfect

1 Peter 5:10 But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, stablish, strengthen, settle you.

Trust in Lord Jesus Christ and His worthiness.

~in Christ

[Maggie 3]

Romans 12:20: If your enemy is hungry, feed him. If your enemy is thirsty, give him a drink. Doing this will be like pouring burning coals on his head. Do not let evil defeat you. Defeat evil by doing good.
I know the phrase pouring burning coals on his head sounds weird but in bible days if the fire went out in a persons home, rather than re-lighting it with flint and spark, women would borrrow live coals from their neighbors that they would carry back in earthen pots on their heads so they could relight their own fire. So heaping coals on his head is actually a display of generosity and kindness. Overcoming evil and binding Satan is not a phrase we say. But it is a deed we do.

Maggie 3

[450donn]

rebuke.. edifying in the name of Christ Jesus

Hebrew 7:19 For the law made nothing perfect, but the bringing in of a better hope did; by the which we draw nigh unto God.

Hebrew 12:23 To the general assembly and church of the firstborn, which are written in heaven, and to God the Judge of all, and to the spirits of just men made perfect

1 Peter 5:10 But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, stablish, strengthen, settle you.

Trust in Lord Jesus Christ and His worthiness.

~in Christ

Sorry, I have to disagree with your quotes. There has ever been one perfect human and we all know what happened to Jesus!
The rest of us are imperfect. Do we strive to be better? Yes.
Once had a bumper sticker.
"Next time you think you are perfect, try walking on water"

[jakester]

Kia - I think it really depends upon your level of involvement with this person: is this a friend, relative, spouse? I think it's always easier to speak to a person you know well about bad behavior because there's a context for the relationship.

I have to disagree with 450donn's approach of asking that person to pray with you about the issue... no offense, donn. I just think it's sufficient to let that person know what you feel and give him/her your perspective and let that person sit on it... sometimes people need time to mull those things over and cornering someone into prayer when you've just confronted the person is a little awkward and kind of strange.

Speak the truth in love and let that person know why you think their behavior is wrong and don't push it too hard. If that person doesn't receive what you said, let it be. But if he/she is open to your criticism, just share your perspective on why you feel his/her behavior might be hurting others. You have to do so gently and with the right spirit yourself or else you run the risk of being a jerk.

[sndbay]

Sorry, I have to disagree with your quotes. There has ever been one perfect human and we all know what happened to Jesus!
The rest of us are imperfect. Do we strive to be better? Yes.
Once had a bumper sticker.
"Next time you think you are perfect, try walking on water"

Then I would advise you in reading Romans 8, and continue your journey in hope with the spirit of Jesus Christ. And pray for the blessing in accordance to HIS fullness to be revealed unto you.

Scripture does not lie!

1 John 3:3 And every man that hath this hope in him purifieth himself, even as HE is pure.

1 John 3:7 Little children, let no man deceive you: he that doeth righteousness is righteous, even as HE is righteous

[arcura]

Kia,
You have been given some good advice and suggestions so far.
Not all Christians are selfish. In fact almost all that I know are very giving.
Just because someone is selfish is no reason to to stop being an un-selfish person with that individual.
Rather it is an opportunity to set a good example.
Here is one of favorite prayers and giving is a part of it.
It is the Prayer of Saint Francis.
Lord, make me an instrument of Your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
Where there is injury, pardon;
Where there is doubt, faith;
Where there is despair, hope;
Where there is darkness, light;
Where there is sadness, joy.

O, Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console; to be understood as to understand; to be loved as to love; For it is in giving that we receive; it is in pardoning that we are pardoned; it is in dying that we are born again to eternal life.
Amen.

[SouthAfricacute]

Then I would advise you in reading Romans 8, and continue your journey in hope with the spirit of Jesus Christ. And pray for the blessing in accordance to HIS fullness to be revealed unto you.

Scripture does not lie!

1 John 3:3 And every man that hath this hope in him purifieth himself, even as HE is pure.

1 John 3:7 Little children, let no man deceive you: he that doeth righteousness is righteous, even as HE is righteous

That's true scripture never lied.

[arcura]

SouthAfricacute,
Well said,
Fred