[Newguy2009]

My ex girlfriend moved out 3 months ago and I have been making the payments on this home we own together pretty much for the past year. She helped out a little when we were together and she was still living there but since she left I have been making the full payment because she left the state and doesn’t have a job. Our loan is assumable however I do not qualify for the assumption based on my income. I don’t make enough. I can afford to make the payments but the bank doesn’t see it that way based on percentage. I cannot refinance because the house will not appraise for what I owe, the market being down right now. I don’t want to do a short sale because this was meant to be a long term investment for me. She won't sign a quit claim deed because she says she will still be on the loan. Do I have any other options to get her name off? What to do??

[JudyKayTee]

I see no other options - you cannot afford to refinance and you don't make enough to carry the mortgage by yourself. I would be concerned that she will demand to be taken off and then you will really have a problem!

[smoothy]

Short of refinancing the only way to do that is to get the bank to agree to it.. and they clearly won't because it reduces their likelihood to collect the debt if you alone default.

It's a legally defendible contract. They have no incentive to change it. Its not in their favor or advantage to do so. If you could find a way to do make it to their favor, then they might be willing to talk.

[Newguy2009]

So would a real estate attorney even be able to help me in this instance? Or is that a waste of time?

[Fr_Chuck]

Unless you can get a loan somewhere from somebody, there is nothing that can be done, You can not make them take a name off a loan,

Also as equity grows in the home, since her name is on the deed, she will still owe 1/2 so at some point she may not just want to sign it over but to be paid for her 1/2 of the equity in the home.

[Newguy2009]

Is there a legal remedy to make her pay her half?

Can she force me to sell? It would have to be a short sale and she would be responsible for half of the difference between the sale and what we actually owe.

Forcing her to pay and short sale are a last resort. Im working with a bank right now to re-fi but my back ratio is 60%

[smoothy]

You do realise in some states the lender can still sue you for the deficiency from what the sale price is and what you owe in either a short sale or even a foreclosure.

And even if that is forgiven.. the IRS declares that is income and thus taxible in that year as income.

Be careful what you choose...

[Newguy2009]

I am aware of that and that's why short sale would be a last resort and that's only if she could force me to do that. I don't think she would because she would get the summons as well. I do think she would force a sale when the market turns around and we actually have equity though

I just wanted to know if there was a way to force her to pay, maybe small claims.

Every time I make that payment, I cringe because it makes her look good. Im just trying to explore all options at this point and thank you for your input

[smoothy]

Not sure there... but as long as her name is on the deed... she can force a partition sale... then you are essentually screwed if you have been paying for everything. And she could do that even before the market turns around. It may not make a lot of sense... but people don't always make decisions based on logic.

What state is this located. Perhaps someone familiar with the laws of your state can offer more precise answers.

[Newguy2009]

She's told me that she doesn't want an interest in the property, just wants her name taken off the loan, and I do believe her there. I also believed it when she said that she wanted to be with me forever, so there's that. That's why I'm cautious and want to expect the worst.

I live in Florida so if anyone has any knowledge about this I'm all ears!

[smoothy]

Whatever you do... make sure removing her name from the deed occurs in conjunction with the refinance which is really about the only way her name is coming off any loan.. Or you might end up with the obligation while she retains half ownership.

Yeah... people can say one thing, then turn around and do another if and when it suites them. Happens all the time. I'm sure you understand that at this point.

Hell, I wouldn't even have a joint checking account with my wife before we married for much the same reason, and yeah.. she did want one back then too.

[JudyKayTee]

I've been in a number of relationships with people I wanted to be with forever but that's for another Board. Who knows, things change?

I would take this problem straight to an Attorney and see what makes sense/what is available to you. Other than that (and Smoothy gives good advice!) it's all pretty much guessing.

I was DIVORCED and couldn't get ex-husband off mortgage/deed. Court said to take him off; Bank said that the mortgage was not controlled by the Bank (and the Bank was right). Had to simply ride it out until I could re-finance in my name alone.

I was more afraid that he would run up debts and there would be liens against the property than I was about my ability to pay without his help.

That's something you have to look at - Judgments, liens, things of that nature.

[Newguy2009]

I want to see an attorney but just about every penny I have goes toward the mortgage, bills and CC's. Thank you for your input. I may just have to ride it out and see where things are at in 6 months or a year.

It just sucks because although we are not together anymore, it pains me that we still have this obligation together and she just disregards that. I just want her out of my life completely and this just makes me think about her when I shouldn't have to anymore

[smoothy]

Set aside a little money every week for a lawyers consoltation fee, say in a jar in your underwear drawer. In a fairly short period you will have it. Because a lot can happen in 6 months time... and it may not be what you was wanting.

[Newguy2009]

That's a good idea. I think I can save a little bit of money over the next couple of months.

I don't want to let this go because sometimes I wonder if she may be up to something so I want to take care of it and be done with it, however I think I may be done trying to force the issue and just see where I am at at a later point in time.

Thanks for the support. I love this place. It always makes me feel better to know there are people out there that want to help.

[smoothy]

A few bucks every few days you will never notice missing... unlike saving specifically to write a check all at once.

That's a trick I used back during my lean times.

[JudyKayTee]

And this is a fairly simple situation - I'm not sure that an Attorney will be terribly costly.

[Newguy2009]

I hope you are right and maybe by next month I can save up a few hundred dollars. No more going out and heck, ill go on the ramen diet if I have to!

[JudyKayTee]

I would go sooner rather than later - at this point if your girlfriend runs into financial difficulty you could find yourself in a very bad spot.

[Newguy2009]

Its not as simple as you might think with the market being the way it is. Im awaiting to hear back from one more bank and Ill go from there. Im hoping a lawyer might be able to find something that I haven't, like possible abandonment