[smithy6]

I'm currently dating a 14 year old I'm 17 and her dad is intending to report me to the police I have not done anything sexual with her what should I do?

[J_9]

What should you do? Break up with her. If you even kiss her you could be in big trouble.

[Gemini54]

Start dating someone closer to your own age?

Her dad doesn't sound too happy and it's bound to eventually get sexual, (isn't it?) so you're better off not going down this road.

If anything sexual happens, you may be charged by the police. Wouldn't you rather avoid a raging father?

[TrayRenee]

Legalities are everywhere. In this situation the age difference is not a good idea. Age restrictions differ with state. I am not at all a hipocrit so I must confess Im 16 & will be 17 in April - I dated a 14 yr. old for 2 years, Granted I did not know his age for a while - But regardless to me at that point age was nothing but a number & as I am sure you are the same I really enjoyed being with that person & in my eyes there was nothing wrong with it. But, Since we have separated I have opened my eyes to many sides of this situation, 14 & 17 are too VERY different ages due to maturity & what not. While it iz only 3 years apart females still have A LOT of maturing to do in those 4 years to get out of barbie stage & what not. Also, Once you are 18 it illegal no matter what state you are because you will legally be an adult. Although you say nothing is sexual at the point & I do believe you, I have to say at this age that statement never lasts too long. Both of you are at an age where EVERYTHING is changing all at once & things will more then likely get closer soon. I say you need to break things off for right now, Remain friends & then if it is that big of a thing & you are for sure try it out again when she is at least 16 closer to 17. Try to keep the legalities off your back !

[Jake2008]

I don't buy that nothing sexual has happened, otherwise, you would have been a friend, not a boyfriend who is dating this girl.

I am glad that the girl's father has stepped up and told you to back off. Just my opinion, but you should understand why he would feel the way he does.

I would respect his wishes, date someone your own age, and then you have nothing to worry about.

[CarrotTalker]

You should consider seeing a counselor/therapist.

There is not something quite right with a 17 year old who dates a 14 year old.

[Lexilulu]

Wow.. Im sorry, I would say not to date her... Or just talk to the father and tell him how you feel, have the guts to say that nothing sexual is going on and how you feel about his daughter... It is stat rape though if you guys are doing anything sexual, but if you value your life I'm sure you aren't... K, well good luck...

[onlinehelp]

It is illigle but if you love her/him keep it a secret
If its only a fling then there no point


Xx good luck xx
Advise,online :(

[JudyKayTee]

It is illigle but if you love her/him keep it a secret
if its only a fling then there no point


xx good luck xx
advise,online :(

Your "advise" is incorrect, stupid and dangerous - if these two are having sex one of them is committing a crime and could be jailed and labeled a sex offender.

How old are you? Most adults don't post kisses in their signature line.

[J_9]

It is illigle but if you love her/him keep it a secret
if its only a fling then there no point


xx good luck xx
advise,online :(

Never ever keep a relationship a secret. This is the most ridiculous advice I have ever heard. I guess you have never heard of child abductions because the young girl kept the relationship a secret.

[Sariss]

3 years isn't a huge difference, but if it becomes sexual before she turns whatever the age of sexual consent is in your area it is illegal.

Heck I'm 4 years older than my S/O, but we are in our 20s. :P

[FadedMaster]

3 years isn't a huge difference, but if it becomes sexual before she turns whatever the age of sexual consent is in your area it is illegal.

Heck I'm 4 years older than my S/O, but we are in our 20s. :P

This is a good point, however you have to consider the age of the youngest involved. In this instance we're looking at a 14 year old. 3 years is indeed not that large of an age difference. But 14 is very young. At 17 you are very much involved in the process of entering the "real world." At the age of 14 you don't even have the slightest idea of what the "real world" is like.

So my advice for the original poster is much the same as everyone else here. You need to take another step towards adulthood and end your relationship with this 14 year old, regardless of its nature. At this point you shouldn't even remain her friend.

As far as needing psychiatric help. Well, I can't make that call based on the little bit you have posted. One could chuck up the decision of dating a 14 year old to teenage ignorance and not some deep seeded issue or psychological disorder.

[giggle_monster]

The only way it would be illegal is if she was 13 or 12. The only way you would be labeled as a sex affender is if you were 17 dating a 12 year old and having sex. Which your not, and if your relationship does become sexual then you should break it off until she is closer to 18.

[Fr_Chuck]

For sex, in the US, the youngest is 16 in some states, and even 18 in a few others. So if you have sex you will be a changed with rape.

But the issue now, he has ordered you not to have contract with his "child" a very younger teen and minor. If you continue, he may look at interference with custody, or if you take her some place without his permisssion other crimes.

[ScottGem]

There has been some very good advice and some misinformation. So lets gt some facts.

Fact 1-There are no laws I know of that prohibit age gaps in dating.

Fact 2-The age of consent in most states is 16. Therefore, if there were any sexual activity, you could find yourself in jail.

Fact 3-Since she is a minor (under 18) she is under the control of her parents. If her parents do not permit the relationship you could be in legal trouble if you defy the parents.

Those are the legal facts to consider. But others have also given you good advice about the difference in your ages. A 14 yr old girl is barely ready for dating. She would be a very different level of maturity and have very different interests. A 3 yr gap is not huge when you are both adults, but it can be when one or both are minors.

You ask what you should do and the answer is break it off. As long as the parents object, you risk legal troubles if you defy them.

[babylove911]

There is nothing wrong with your age because your still considered a teen until you hit 18. Trust I been there

[krissyg2991]

Your "advise" is incorrect, stupid and dangerous - if these two are having sex one of them is committing a crime and could be jailed and labeled a sex offender.

How old are you? Most adults don't post kisses in their signature line.

I agree that the advice is incorrect and that there is something inappropriate about a 17 year old and a 14 year old in a relationship but really? Label them a sex offender? Do you realize that that effectively ruins any potential life what so ever? Come on. There's some immaturity involved and the kid needs to be told it's wrong but marking them as a sex offender for the rest of their life is not the answer.

[Justwantfair]

I agree that the advice is incorrect and that there is something inappropriate about a 17 year old and a 14 year old in a relationship but really? Label them a sex offender? Do you realize that that effectively ruins any potential life what so ever? Come on. There's some immaturity involved and the kid needs to be told it's wrong but marking them as a sex offender for the rest of their life is not the answer.

That is not the topic of discussion, whether it would be appropriate at 17. It does and can happen, that if you are engaging in sex with someone under the age of consent. You can be prosecuted as a sex offender, if you are the label stays with you and you continue to register, your whole life.

[ScottGem]

I agree that the advice is incorrect and that there is something inappropriate about a 17 year old and a 14 year old in a relationship but really? Label them a sex offender? Do you realize that that effectively ruins any potential life what so ever? Come on. There's some immaturity involved and the kid needs to be told it's wrong but marking them as a sex offender for the rest of their life is not the answer.

Please re read what Judy said. She was not labeling the OP as a sex offender, she was merely citing what COULD happen under the law. The girl is under the age of consent. She is what is called "jail bait". If he has sex with her and is caught he could be prosecuted for Statutory Rape. The would result in being labeled a sex offender. So all Judy was doing is what you said, warning the OP it was wrong by citing the potential consequences. I believe you owe her an apology.

[FadedMaster]

@Eclipse1220: You need to pay more attention to what is going on. The OP has stated that her father has told him to stop seeing her. If you read what FR_Chuck said:

But the issue now, he has ordered you not to have contract with his "child" a very younger teen and minor. If you continue, he may look at interference with custody, or if you take her some place without his permisssion other crimes.

This gives you your answer to your question, "...how could he get in trouble?" Obviously you are not familiar with real life situations.


The facts have been outlined already. It is clear what the OP should do. I cannot believe that there is any debate over whether a near adult should be dating a child against said child's parent's wishes. The not surprising thing is that the only people who seem to be for the OP continuing this are all underage themselves.