[chocodrip]

I am married for the past two and half years to a wonderful man. We live in India where people begin asking you whether you have any "special news" a month after you marry. I have been having sex with him even before our wedding. Ever since I was eighteen, we never used protection though he would never ejaculate inside me. Now we're having trouble coceiving. My aunt works as a director of an internatonal N.G.O and she would help us get the baby fast. The problem that I have is that while my husband is a christian, his parents are orthodox hindus who would never agree for adopting.

What should I do? I am very depressed. I have loved babies all through my life. I somehow feel that me having sex before marriage is the reason as to why I am not getting pregnant because it is sin. Please help me as to how I should convince my mother in law.

I'm twenty three and he's twenty seven, can we still try for our child?

[justcurious55]

There could be a number of reasons you haven't conceived yet. Have you talked with your dr yet? I'm not sure what your medical care and coverage is like, but if it's an option for you, I'd start talking with your dr.

[So_Confused1971]

Oh my gosh! You are so young! You have lot's of time to get pregnant. Having sex before marriage is NOT the reason you are not getting pregnant. It will happen when you stop worrying about it. Best of luck!

[justcurious55]

So_confused, here in america and many other places, I agree, 23 is very young. But in some cultures, it's very different. And while worrying about getting pregnant or not getting pregnant probably isn't helping anything, after trying for more than a year to get pregnant with no luck, the OP probably needs to be a little more proactive than just relaxing about it.

[Synnen]

See your doctor.

Get your husband to a urologist.

There are soooooooo many medical issues that can prevent conception--though stressing about getting pregnant is definitely a good way to NOT get pregnant.

You need to be tested, both of you, to make sure nothing is MEDICALLY wrong with you before you start tackling the adoption question within your family and your husband's.

[MsMewiththat]

Adoption is a beautiful expression. My parents adotped seven children. My grandmother wasn't very happy for them to adopt me because I am bi-racial. She was very against it and said she would never love me. I was "her favorite". It's not necessarily the same for everyone and I realize that. However you need to live your life for you! My point is this... if you find that you are unable to conceive and you and your husband make the decision to enrich your lives and adopt, that is your decision. Allow her to work through her issues on her own. She just may come around to understanding and be fine with it. I don't believe in the school of thought that "If you are unable to reproduce, you are unfit for parenting". Look at all the parents that shouldn't have their children and have plenty.
Secondly I want to let you know that you are not being cursed for having relations prior to marriage. It doesn't really work that way. Consult your physician. There are a number of things that can be done to assist in reproduction or simple rule any issues out.
As stated above... sometimes you do need to relax and not worry. Follow your heart. Best of luck

[chocodrip]

Thank you all so much for taking your time to reply, both of us will go to a good doctor.