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shumaiza · Jan 24, 2010, 03:21 AM

My brother has some genetical problems by birth . He is 25 yrs and ready to marry , AS the Dr's say he is completely fit to have sexual relation ship with his wife , but 1 doctor says that there is a 50% chance of his being a father , but at the same time 2 ,3 other doctors say that this is the issue of after marriage as he can have harmonal changes in the body
So the question is " after giving our proposal for my brother , do we need to mention this issue of his being a father or not or 50 % chance ? As we r not giving any kind of dhoka by not telling them.. at the same time when dr's say that these r after marriage issues.. kindly help
JazakAllah
shumaiza

Jake2008 · Jan 24, 2010, 04:08 AM

So this is an arranged marriage.

I would think that if you have been told by a medical Doctor that your brother has genetic problems that may prevent him from having children, you have to disclose that.

If the hormonal changes can be made with medical treatment to increase his odds, that too should be mentioned.

But, my own opinion is that it is dishonest and withholding important information for the bride to be, as she would assume there is nothing wrong with him.

If you give the information, then the relationship aspect of having children will be out in the open, and the bride to be, and/or her family, can make an informed decision.

Wouldn't you want to know?

BlackVY · Jun 1, 2010, 08:48 PM

I don't think there is a need to tell the other family about it, unless your brother wants to.

In any case, it something for him and his wife-to-be to discuss, as it involves them. Have quite a bit of knowledge of the South Asian background, I would have thought it was more an issue of the girl was not able to have kids or something. There is always a chance a couple will have a hard time having children, but it is not something doctors can predict accurately.

SO my opinion is don't worry about it for now, it is not something bad you need to tell anyone, and just be happy about the wedding. All the best :)

pinkangelgirl · Jun 3, 2010, 07:16 PM

Keeping secrets is not a good way to start a marriage, however I understand that this is arranged so there's not much chance of your brother speaking privately to his wife to be. However her finding out later if they can't have children would be very painful for her, especially if she has that expectation. I would try to explain to them that your brother does have a genetic problem that MAY prevent them from having children or make it more difficult, then they can decide from there.