[valerieh1966]

I was invited to a baby shower for my husband's cousin's 20 year old unwed daughter. I only know of her, not sure when I last saw her. I don't approve of having a baby out of wedlock especially when the mother is young and uneducated. I think this is just a way of getting lots of presents. How do I politely decline the invitation, do I send a small gift with another relative or do I ingore the invitation all together.

[nikosmom]

You don't have to go; in fact it'd probably be best if you didn't because you'd probably have a hard time not showing your disdain during the party.

Just politely decline and send a small gift or gift card. I'm more inclined to suggest a gift card because it's something she could use towards the purchase of a big item and you won't have to spend much time looking for a gift.

Regarding your statement that the shower is just a way to get presents... well isn't that what it's about regardless of the mother's marital status?

[ScottGem]

As niko said, the main purpose of a baby shower is to get things the baby needs. And who needs a baby shower more than an unwed mother.

But yes you shouldn't go. As to deciding on a gift, think more of the baby than its mother.

[Catsmine]

You could combine the two suggestions you've received so far and get a gift card from Babies'r'Us. That both shows consideration and precludes abuse of your gift. Decline the invitation, certainly.

[unluckynut]

Nobody is perfect! Nobody!