[maymay]

Hi All,

There's this guy at work who liked me (I like him too) and asked me out on a date.

Heaps of baggage, he's come out of a 7yr relationship with 2 kids. Its been 8 months since they split. He's moved back down the road from his ex's house. He still seems affected by it and not quiet over it yet.

Problem is, the date went really bad. I was feeling ill and was very distant. No kisses... nothing. We are now back at work and he's going out of his way to avoid me. I wonder what's going on? I want to diffuse the tension but don't know how to approach the situation.

Any ideas?

Maymay

[Skell]

This thing is a time bomb waiting to go off. More red flags here then Chinese national day.

You work with him. Don't get involved with someone from work.

Just out of 7 year relationship. Stay away!

He has kids he should focus on and not you!

He lives near his ex who he isn't over and won't be for a while to come.

Your looking for kisses on a first date (why?). Are you desperate?


This isn't going to work and has pain written all over it for you and the many others involved.

Stay away and find someone with a lot less baggage, because this guy needs his own porter.

Good luck!

[Fr_Chuck]

I will follow the same theme,

Ok, divorce happens, and men do move on easier than women often, but he did not, he moved "down the street" so he is not moving on, he is still invovled and trying to stay part of his ex's life.

He is free to date but not all dates go well, if there was no spark, there was no spark,

But ou broke the worlds largest dating rule, you fished from a company pond ( dated someone you work with) it always ends in ruin almost always. Once you break up, or have a failed date, one or both have trouble dealing with it.

Now he may have felt you were stand offish of him, But think of it this way, had you had that kiss and sex, then he did not call, how bad is that.

[talaniman]

Do you believe in FATE. I think you have dodged a bullet and should be grateful FATE stepped in and broke you two up before the disaster started. Whew! Want more proof? FATE told him to leave you alone. Now its your turn to leave him alone.! ( If you don't believe in FATE then please listen to the previous posters here.)

[maymay]

Hi Guys,

The great news is I totally agree with you. I've already made a decision not to pursue an intimate relationship with this guy.

However, I would like to diffuse the tension in the workplace. I don't see why he should be avoiding me since nothing happened between us on the date. How do I do that? I believe if I don't confront the situation now, it may snowball into something far worse.

No one needs an enemy if you know what I mean. What do u think?

Maymay

[talaniman]

Leave it alone.

[maymay]

Don't u think leaving it alone will create more misunderstandings?

If I address it by saying stuff like 'You seem a bit distant lately, is everything OK?' Wouldn't that give us an opportunity to clear the air at least?

[talaniman]

Why make amess where there isn't one? I just think you should leave well enough alone.

[Allheart]

MayMay,

Just give it time. Throw yourself into your work. I promise you time will ease the tension.
If you ask him anything, it will put him back on his heels. Men tend not to feel comfortable, if they are avoiding, to be asked why or if they are avoiding. Makes them shrivel inside. If you happen to see him in passing, smile, say hello, and keep walking.

I do understand your concerns, but I promise you, time will help ease the tension.

[maymay]

Hi guys,

I have been throwing myself into work as recommended.

However, there's been progress. I bumped into him at the carpark and said 'Hello, how's everything going?' Since that conversation, everything is back to normal. No more avoiding each other so the workplace isn't uncomfortable anymore.

As for starting a relationship with him... Highly unlikely!! There's too much baggage and he obviously needs time to sort his own stuff out.

I'm just happy the working environment is back to normal!

maymay