[karmasimon]

Today, after a year and a half, I broke up with my boyfriend. He was always loving, loyal, and good to me, as I was to him. But during our relationship I never ceased to have doubts about whether I loved him. We are young, and I believe that I have felt love once before but the feeling was not mutual. I never felt for my boyfriend what I felt for the person I loved.
Now I have broken his heart and that makes me want to curl up and die. I feel like a terrible person. This is my second relationship, and I have broken up with both boyfriends. I feel that I have it coming to me to suffer and that I will never be happy with anyone. I feel that I will never truly be in a happy relationship.
I had no good reason to break up with him. We don't fight that much, he didn't cheat on me. But he wanted to be together forever and was not sure that that was what I wanted. I felt that to stay with him would be leading him on. He has had his heart broken a few times and has been a bit depressed since he was a kid. I think he depended on me. Now I am worried about him and afraid for him. I miss the fact that he was also my best friend. I can never go crawling back to him now because he deserves better than that, and besides, I don't want to. We had a wonderful relationship and I wish that I could be less selfish and just love him like he deserves to be loved.

I just don't know what to do. I don't feel like I deserve to want to be in love anymore. Does anyone else feel like the ultimate villain after breaking up with a great person for no good reason?

[UnluckyDucky]

I've been in a similar situation.

I ended my relationship of 7 years with a woman who has been nothing short of amazing. She was kind, generous, loving, and everything I'd want in someone I'd want to spend the rest of my life with. Why did I break it off? I wanted kids of my own someday and she didn't. The sad part is, we discussed this in the beginning of our relationship and I was OK with this but towards the end of the relationship I felt the male equivalent of "the biological clock" ticking. The month or so following the breakup I felt like absolutely crap - my stomach constantly felt like it was in knots and I felt a huge amount of guilt. Couldn't sleep at all for a week.

This all happened a little over a year ago. To this day I still feel feel a pang of guilt when I look back at our relationship. Feeling horrible about doing something you perceive as bad to a good person is only natural - it just means you have a soul and that you're not heartless.

I wouldn't call you breaking up for your reasons bad however, as you mention that you are both young and you're not ready to fully commit to someone forever.

[Metalhead11592]

Hey,
If you feel like you didn't have mutual feelings for him your not breaking up with him for no reason. Your not a villain, your just being honest to yourself. Don't think you should die or suffer it's a learning experience just don't take it to heart too much. You should just focus on your feelings positively rather than thinking you're a bad person. Think positive =]

[karmasimon]

I guess you guys are right. I hope that someday he will want to be close again but in a different way. For now, I doubt he will talk to me for a long time. I will miss his companionship but I feel that I did the right thing.

[amicon]

You were honest with him and seeing how you couldn't see yourself with him longterm,it was the decent thing to do.
He'll heal and get on with his life as we all do.
You will find the right person for you when you're ready.

[Romefalls19]

I'm going to be blunt with you, the chances of you two being close again is slim to none. You broke his heart, no one forgets that easily. You did have a reason as you didn't know how you truly felt about him. He will eventually see you did him a favor, just like you have to do this for yourself

[talaniman]

I have had those same feelings when I had to break up with a female I cared for, but not enough to commit to. You're a good human, who cares. That's why you feel bad for them, and yourself.

It had to be done though.

[I wish]

I've been in a similar situation as well. I really cared about my ex. I always wanted her to be happy, but I knew that we weren't good for one another and that we would have to find happiness elsewhere and not from each other.

It's a painful process, but remind yourself that it's for the best. If you don't think that you can love him as much you think he deserves, then let him go. He might be heartbroken now, but at least now he can go find happiness elsewhere.

As for you. 2 relationships is not enough to say, "let's pack it in, I'm done with relationships". It takes time to figure out what you want in a relationship. I suggest that you continue to meet new people. There's no need to rush into a new relationship. But as long as you're open to getting to know more people, you have the chance for something to happen. When it does happen, it should happen naturally and not forced.

[vanheart]

We all act upon our feelings. Decisions.

At whatever stage we are in or what we perceive to be right at the time.

Hurting someone is not easy, nor being hurt. But you used your gut. Now look at both of these times as what you want & who you are & choose to be with and why.

Step back now. The more you understand yourself, the more you can connect.

[teastalk]

It sounds like a relationship where people could only be borderline satisfied in the relationship. However, to truly completely enjoy the relationship, it is better to find someone who one can completely happy a large quantity of the time.

A case of borderline satisfaction reminds me of "settling," while finding a completely enjoyable relationship reminds me of finding that "one in a million" relationship.

However, in all relationships there are highs and there are lows. Sometimes when a person is married, they'll just have to keep on slogging through the bad days when they're upset. It's worth it to find someone who you know that you'll work with even when you have to slog through many bad days at a time or much hardship.

[plonak]

I haven't read all the posts here so forgive me if I'm repeating anything, but I think you're very brave for what you did... you did the best thing for him by letting him go and not wasting his time because you want his friendship.

I admire you and I hope you find what your looking for... never beat yourself up for being honest and true to yourself. You will find tthat right person for you and in the meantime keep your chin up and stay confident

[plonak]

I haven't read all the posts here so forgive me if I'm repeating anything, but I think you're very brave for what you did... you did the best thing for him by letting him go and not wasting his time because you want his friendship.

I admire you and I hope you find what your looking for... never beat yourself up for being honest and true to yourself. You will find tthat right person for you and in the meantime keep your chin up and stay confident

[Devorameira]

You are a really honest person who has done the right thing. You really had no choice - you had to follow your heart.

I know you feel bad about breaking his heart, but isn't it better that you feel guilty for a little while rather than waste years with a man you don't love? Give it a while - everything will work out just fine.

----------------------------

"If your love does not work with that person, it just means that someone else loves you more."

"The funny thing about breakups is they point out what we didn't even know we had, but don't give us the option of going back into battle armed with that knowledge."

[gummiber]

I was so heartbroken over this one guy. One day he just told me that things weren't working out and he broke up with me. I cried all night long. All I wanted was to talk to him, I called over and over again and send tons of text messages. But After I contacted this spell caster I told him my problem and he helped me out,and then I now know why everything I tried to get him back failed.It didn't take much time to get my ex back! All it is contacting the right person, I want to thank the [email protected],Thanks for helping me out.