[02232009]

Hi I too got problems in making him touch me or go down on me... its not that I'm not hygienic but I think he's just to busy experiencing his own pleasure while in bed... how can I make him play with my or go down on me?

[Synnen]

Make YOUR pleasure a condition of HIS pleasure.

If he can't stop being selfish long enough to please you, then don't let HIM have any pleasure either.

Oh... and why is it that people can have sex with someone they can't TALK to about it? What does HE say about it when you ask him?

[sabrewolfe]

Tell him it's necessary for you before you can have intercourse

[Fr_Chuck]

You talk, how sad that he only thinks of him, explain some facts of life, and if he will not work with you, he does not really care for you, only his pleasure

[02232009]

I don't know I just think that I'm too shy to confront him about it.. although I know I'm very comfortable with him about anything... just not on that thing..

[Synnen]

Again--if you are not comfortable enough to TALK to someone about sex--why the hell are you having sex with that person?

Shy or not, it's something that needs to be discussed, or it will NEVER change.

[maddy308]

You and your boyfriend shound try the 69 position that way you will both being pleasured orally at the same time

[kp2171]

A lover who is too busy to attend to you is a selfish lover. Or at least an ignorant lover.

... now... its not like I wasn't there at one point.

It took time and perspective to make me appreciate how incredible oral on the girl could be. Now... its something I absolutely love, even need. Wasn't always that way.

Buy She Comes First by Ian Kerner. You can find it on Amazon. Maybe in a local big box store.

I've yet to find any perfect sex bible... I recommend this book often not because its perfect, but because it is an easy read... it has some very useful info, especially for the young woman or man... and it might let a male reader understand how important taking time to be a patient, attentive, and giving lover is... both to your sexual satisfaction and his.

This is the kind of book to read. Dog ear and/or highlight the parts you want him to focus on... and then pass it on.

As for communication. Yes. I agree... the best relationships, inside the bedroom and out, involve honest and open communication.

But really... lets be real here.

Early on... sex was less about talking to one another and more about jumping out of the airplane and trying to invent the parachute on the way down.

I agree that couples who are intimately active must also be intimately talking... if its going to last. That said... talking about sex openly and comfortably is not second nature to many, esp those greener...

It isn't a free hall pass to choose to be isolated or confused or feel pushed. You own your own body.

Most of us have had to work our way to a place of comfort concerning sex... and most of us did it while having sex and making mistakes along the way.

[Cat1864]

I wonder if their relationship has improved since January.