[johnnyland]

I am a senior in High school and my Girlfriend is 16. We have been dating for about 4 monthes now and fallen in love with each other. But the fact that I will be leaving for college next year (3 hours away or more depending what school I go to) gives us both second thoughts about our relationship. My approach is to say "Lets enjoy the time we have together" because that is what I truly want. She on the other hand is scared of being heartbroken when I leave for college and feels it would be less painful to end it now. Although I feel there is some truth in that, she makes me happy and I love being with her. We have discussed the possibility of keeping our relationship when I go off to college, but she doesn't want to do that, and I am not sure if I would either. She feels that it is not fair to either of us having a long distance relationship like that. Since the duration of our relationship this conversation always comes up and at first I feel like she pushes away from me, but I am useually able to calm her down and bring her back. These discussions are emotionally damaging to me and I useually try to avoid them with her because we have talked about me leaving next year and the realities of it. So to simplify my question, is it right to break up with her now, even though we are in love? Or should we keep it lasting until I go off for college and have it potentionally more damaging because we have become even more close and more attached than we already were?

[fibertechs]

Here's a few thoughts:

Now I've been married 27 years. I rencently told my wife " Honey, I've been thinking I am getting too attached to you and maybe we should break up now because if you die or something I'll be heart broken and lost " Was that a good idea? No. Why leave somenoe you love so you don't get hurt later?

If you or the girl are interested in meeting and dating other people in college perhaps you should cut it off. It is very important to maintain integrity in a relationship and fooling around will ruin it.

My son who is attending Penn State University recently asked my wife about whether to end a one and a half year relationship that has because stressful with a lot of arguing. She told him that its all right to take a break from each other for a while staying true and seeing if things cool down. She said if the girl is really yours she'll come back to you.

[MsMewiththat]

Your position is an intereesting one, however your question of letting her go is simply answered by the fact that she wants you to let her go. She clearly isn't interested in having a long distance relationship and she is letting you know that. If she wants this space you have to let her go. Space and time will solve it. As stated above if it is meant to be it will work itself out.

[Devorameira]

She's already told you she wants to break up, so why drag it out? It's obvious that she wants to be able to date others while you're gone and I can appreciate that. She's young and shouldn't sit home while life passes her by. You also need to get out and have a good time while you're in college.

Try to think positive about it. Use this separation to your advantage. She just opened up a world of opportunity for you. Take this time to come back to yourself; spend time with friends you love who you may not have had that much time for during the run of your relationship; get back into activities you enjoy that you’ve put on the backburner; take up a fun new hobby; expand your social circle and make new fun, friends; and of course, date, date and oh yes, DATE! This can be a great time for you if you just look at the situation you’ve been dealt with optimistic eyes. :)

[johnnyland]

Thanks guys these are all helpful pieces of advice, Although there are many suggestions flying around saying that I should end it, I have ebeen thinking about it and mabey the best time to end it would be my last day before I go off to college?

[Fr_Chuck]

Actually the best time to end it, is when it ends, OK only 3 hours away, 1 1/2 to meet half way, there is no reason it has to even end, unless the two of you are not willing to work on it.

Sounds like it is or has ended for her, if she is ready to say quit already

[talaniman]

I think she knows this will end any way, so she is ready now, and you should let her go. When a female isn't willing to take chances, and risks for you then no matter what she says, she ain't that much in love with you.

Her actions speak much louder than her words.

[lokismama]

I`m having the same troubles with my senior boyfriend who is basically hinting to me that he wants to dump me. He is terrified of leaving me and I don't know what to do to keep him from dumping me. Were both deeply in love and I don't understand why he would want to dump me just cause of long distance. Long distance is a hard thing to deal with but its totally okay if you just try to keep in contact and it really depends on how much you love each other. Don't dump her if you love her so much. There's no reason to. It will only make you really upset and leave you with heartache.