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    Paige94's Avatar
    Paige94 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Dec 31, 2009, 11:08 PM
    I lied to my parents and I can`t tell them the truth
    I`ve been dating this guy, he`s really sweet. Like the best boyfriend a girl could ask for. He only cares about me, nothing else. He`s paranoid about me. Thar is just freaking me out, he keeps talking about our future and when we`re moving to live together... That`s sweet, right? It means he`s not afraid of a serious relacionship. The only problem is that I DON`T LOVE HIM. I don`t even like him. When he kisses me it`s like kissing a wall. It doesn`t mean anything. I know I should break up with him but I can`t, he´s too perfect to be dumpt. Right??
    There`s also another issue... I like his best friend. He`s so cute, and anlike my boyfriend he`s exciting. He started talking to me. Nothing important... He has a girlfriend. Stuf like hi or what`s up. But every time he looks at me I feel so nervous, and start wondering if a look good if he likes what he sees. And I swear sometimes it seems like he`s flirting with me.


    WHAT DO I DO??
    artlady's Avatar
    artlady Posts: 4,208, Reputation: 1477
    Ultra Member
     
    #2

    Dec 31, 2009, 11:13 PM

    Be honest and stop leading him on!

    You will only make it harder for him if you keep lying and if you care anything about him you will do the right thing.

    Yes,it is hard but life is hard and you have to do things you don't like all the time,this is one of them.
    Tell him.
    If you are old enough to date and deal with the emotional aspect of that ,you also have to be mature enough to be honest and fair.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
    Pets Expert
     
    #3

    Jan 1, 2010, 01:19 AM

    There are plenty of great guys out there. This isn't the last one.

    If you feel nothing then call it off.

    This isn't brain surgery. From what you said about the other guy you won't be able to be faithful to Mr. Feel nothing anyway.

    Just be honest and stop leading him on!
    Jake2008's Avatar
    Jake2008 Posts: 6,721, Reputation: 3460
    Emotional Health Expert
     
    #4

    Jan 1, 2010, 08:56 AM

    Because your boyfriend scores well on a test of 'boyfriendidness', does not equal that he is the one for you.

    While you may think you should be with him because he meets all the criteria for love, does not mean that you have to adjust how you feel, and love him the way he loves you.

    It just doesn't work that way.

    What you are doing is justifying staying with him, because, what's not to like, right?

    Surely you see that how he feels about you, is the total opposite of how you feel about him.

    You have to be honest with yourself, and step up here, and do the right thing. He deserves someone who actually loves him for who he is, not someone pretending to love him, because they think they should!

    Please let him know how you feel, and break this up before he gets in any deeper. He's thinking he's got it made with you, and loves you. You are playing a game with him, leading him on thinking that you feel the same way.

    There is no rule book that says you have to talk yourself into loving anybody.

    Let him go, and both of you pursue healthier relationships based on trust, not deception.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
    Expert
     
    #5

    Jan 1, 2010, 10:06 AM

    You break up with someone you don't feel right about, and be good to him, you are treating him very badly staying with him if you don't feel anything, that is just not fair to him.

    So after you break up with him, then you see what guys are out there
    jaime90's Avatar
    jaime90 Posts: 1,157, Reputation: 163
    Ultra Member
     
    #6

    Jan 2, 2010, 03:18 PM

    It's disprespectful of you to stay with him. The longer you stay, the more you are toying with his emotions. If you don't like him, why in the world would you even consider a dating relationship with the guy? This is where being honest, and getting to know the guy as a friend first, comes in handy. Now, there's a good chance he will end up heartbroken, and you will have terrible thoughts, feelings, and memories that will plague you the rest of your life. Not to mention, you will be going into another relationship, with hardly a clean slate, and you probably won't have a clear conscience either.
    JBeaucaire's Avatar
    JBeaucaire Posts: 5,426, Reputation: 997
    Software Expert
     
    #7

    Jan 2, 2010, 05:20 PM

    Ask HIM the same question you just asked us.

    "I know a girl who is dating a guy who likes her SO much and is clearly head over heels for her, but she really doesn't like him that way at all. She says kissing him is like kissing a family member...just 'nothing there' at all for her. But she doesn't want to be mean...what should she do?"


    Let him answer. If he says what you need, then repeat it back to him confessing you are that girl. It will hurt him, but he'll recover.

    If he doesn't say what you need, oh well, you should take that opportunity to tell HIM what you think "your girlfriend" should do and see if you can get him to agree it's the honest and fair thing to do. When he finally agrees with you, then confess that it's you... etc.

    Either way, there is no avoiding the painful scene associated with the end of a relationship. You can do this, you have to do this. It's part of what you need to learn, facing the difficult scenarios and dealing with them correctly is a skill you must develop to be a good wife and parent, this is how you learn it.

    You can do this.

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