[kcead24]

Hi:

My wife has a male friend who is also married and he is a jokester. They never used to be very close, but lately they hang out a lot as he gets to work from home. He is a very sexual person and will call or text here with vulgar messages, like did you get "fu%^A&" last night and have you had anal and oh you need some sex toys and I will get those for you. I think it's strange that she has those conversations with the guy and I think he likes her more than friends. I know when I asked her if I were to buy any of my female friends sex toys she said she would flip out which is the point I was trying to make but when it comes to this guy she says oh that's no big deal it would be totally cool if he got me sex toys.

Anything I should worry about here?

Thanks,
Mr. Husband

[smoothy]

Why do you have two posts saying essentually the same thing only with one being a man and the other a woman.

Exactly how old are you?

[GracieM]

Mr. Husband, after many years of counciling couples, I live by the "tip of the iceburg" theory. That is, when you suspect something may be wrong in a relationship, that almost always means there is a lot more you don't see. Be strong.

[Aprilmay12]

Have you ever seen the movie "When Harry Met Sally"? The moral of the story is: Men and woman can never really be friends because the male always wants to have sex with the female, or vise versa. Whether that's true or not the only man who should be talking to your wife about sex if you. To me, what he is doing is completely inappropriate and disrespectful.

[Catsmine]

[LJDK]

Tell the dude to back off and that he has to stop talking to your wife like that. If not and you are small, baseball bats, batons and tazer guns work wonders for us small men.

No seriously. I would lose it if some guy talks to my wife like that. Regardless of him being married or not.

[Kadehadaire]

I agree with all of the above. Seems to be unanimous advice so far.

Your wife seems to like this sort of vulgar flirting. I have an insight into female minds (I am one, yes I know ;) ) and it may be that she is getting something from this guy that you aren't giving. I DO NOT condone this behavior AT ALL, but it might provide you with an explanation as to why she is participating in this sexual flirting (and it IS flirting).

Perhaps she wants or needs to see your jealousy. Perhaps he is simply her "the one that got away". Regardless of all of that, YOU are the one she made a commitment to, and she should honor it.

I hope you can find a way to talk to her. I have a guy friend who is quite vulgar in his talk to me, but I am always very blunt towards him. If I joke back, it is always in the vein of "you could never beat my husband, he is hung like a..." etc. Can you see the difference?

Hope this helps you,
Good luck!

[kcead24]

Yes thanks to everyone this is all very helpful and makes sense