[mirilicious]

Last weekend, I met a hot bartender who was working at this club.. he asked for my # and the night when he got off from his work, he texted me. We texted few times and I just went to sleep w/o saying anything, and a couple of days later on he would ask me what I was going to do this week or w/e but I didn't respond.

On the 1st "date" or hang-out, he said his roomie's friend was thrwoing a birthday party and asked me if I wanted to go, so I did. Went over to his place and he drove from there. I did wear something skanky.. which I shouldn't have done. I got very tipsy.. and I got carried away I guess.. becuase I realized that I was totally making out w/ him in his room later that night... after we got back from the birthday party. I could tell he wanted to have sex, but I said no.

2nd time we hung out was on Christmas. He already celebrated it w/ his bros the day before, so we didn't do much on Christmas. And to be honest, I didn't expect anything either. We hung out at his place again. He cooked steak, played the pool table, and we ended up making out. Even more than the 1st date. We did practically everything but the actual intercourse. I slept over. I know he's dying to have sex w/ me. And I've alrady told him like 3 times that I would never do it w/ a stranger and that he'd have to wait at least a month. And he said he would. Also, I forgot to mention that we talked a lot about family, cultures, and how he wants to see me perform music and stuff. We totally joke around and talk about "normal" stuff.

Well, today I left his place this morning(26th) and he kissed me on my lips and said "so Ill see you soon yeah?". I was hoping to hear something else like want to hang out tomorrow or w/e, but I was like whatever. I know he's going to work today.. and since I left his place, we haven't talked. Oh, another thing I forgot to mention is that we never talk on the phone. We text a lot, and I don't know if this has a significant meaning.. but I just wanted to share that.

After the 1st date, we texted all day and night. He replied to everything I said or asked. On the Christmas eve, nothing. Not a single text. On christmas day, he texted me to confirm if I still wanted to hang out w/ him.

I like him. I'm interested in him. Oviously I'm freain attracted to him. I'd never done this before w/ a stranger! I want to get to know him, but... I feel like, especially as I was typing all this just now, I have a feeling that he may be more interested in my body than me.. I plan not to call/text him first because then it would make me too available. On NYE, he'll be working at the club and I won't be there. I don't want to get hurt, so I'm also thinking of asking him straight up if he's looking for a booty call. Only if we hang out again,I 'll ask him in person.
I'm just really not sure if this... haas some possibilities to turn into a relationship or... if it's certain that he only wants my body.

Omg this is so long. I apologize and appreciate for taking your time to read this. Thank you so much.

[J. Sparks]

If you like him just sleep with him.
Everything's a gamble in this life.
Just go for it if you're feeling comfortable enough.

You're either going to have a bad time or a good time
And there is only one way to find out.

Jay

[plonak]

Wow you need to chill out.. first of all how old are you??

In reading this post I get the impression that you gave HIM the wrong impression right from the get go. If you were willing to do everything but intercouse when you barely know this guy, then what do you think he wants? It is very clear here that this guy knows you're going to put out soon and he's banking on this..

You know the whole saying why would he buy the cow if he's getting the milk free?

You need to slow down and ask yourself why you really want to be with this guy. Sorry to be so harsh, but you seem too immature to be getting yourself into these messes.

I would bet my left hand that this guy wants sex and only sex and the only reason he's still hanging around is because he thinks he has a real shot at it..

Get some self esteem and stay away from guys like him..

[talaniman]

I would never do it w/ a stranger and that he'd have to wait at least a month.

You can bet that he is counting the days to get him some yum yum, and will be terribly disappointed if he doesn't.

Stop hanging around at his place, and bar, and doing everything but intercourse. The less available you are, the less chance of being his cheap booty call.

I doubt you get to know each other well just texting, and I don't think he wants to date you for fun, while he gets to know you, so leave the hot bartender alone, until you can carry yourself better and get REAL dates with REAL guys who don't think a steak dinner is down payment, or good enough to get sex from you.

By the way, a few trips to his place are not dates, and texting is not communicating, so its safe to assume he is biding his time until the waiting is over.

That should be all the warning you need, not to get carried away by a physical attraction. (a cheap one at that).

We did practically everything but the actual intercourse. I slept over. I know he's dying to have sex w/ me.

And that's all he wants. But will be happy with everything else until he gets sex.

[Jake2008]

There used to be a word for women who teased mean sexually.

You have no idea what this man wants. Because you leave him hi and dry, and he gets fed up, you think he is doing something wrong. You give him so many green lights he can drive to Siberia and back, then throw spikes on the highway. What do you think he expects from you.

What kind of impression does your behaviour make.

If you had made it clear from the beginning, no sex, and he agreed to date you anyway, you may have ended up in a different kind of relationship.

But, as you said, you were innapropriate at the party, clothing, behaviour and drinking, and making out madly with him. If I were a man, I'd say the signals were pretty clear.

Leading someone on like that, and cutting them off cold turkey, is a sad way to establish a relationship. Who can blame him for trying, especially when all the signals pointed to the bedroom.

Please try to be more honest in conversation and behaviour to back it up. Mixed messages will only lead to nowhere, as you've found out.

[J. Sparks]

If you like him just sleep with him.
Everything's a gamble in this life.
Just go for it if you're feeling comfortable enough.

You're either gonna have a bad time or a good time
and there is only one way to find out.

Jay

It's not rubbish advice, she already wants to be with him anyway.
I bet the people saying this advice is rubbish can only give non-working text book advice.

[jmooney527]

It's nice that you like him and you find him interesting and all, but you're giving him the wrong impression completely. You wore something that you described yourself as "skanky", you put out on the 1st and 2nd date and have basically done everything aside from intercourse. If you do ever go out on a date with him again, don't make out like your ship is going down and he's the last man you'll ever see. Control yourself and don't put yourself in a situation where you could easily fall back into your previous pattern.

Based on what you've said though, I would say he's only looking for sex.

[J. Sparks]

That's right. The man should be in control.
That's what a woman enjoys. A strong man in control.

I'm talking reality, not Walt Disney.

[LJDK]

Sounds like a booty call, if he can wait a month then its most likely he is looking for more then sex.

But that does not mean text a month long and then make love, it means actually going on dates and stuff. And yes, stay away from the apartment. Also sends signs that you want it. Chances are you do.

Who doesn't, but self control goes a long way. But just a side note, me and my fiancé met, went on 2 dates... and then out of the blue we made love. So we went fast, but that is a very dangerous road to take, somewhere along the line you have to say woow... slow down. So rather take it slow and avoid a lot of confusion later down the line.

[HistorianChick]

Don't you want a relationship? One in which you trust your partner and your partner trusts you? One in which you are committed to each other, where you enjoy each other's company, and where you find yourself "connected" to another individual? Don't you think you're worth that?

Because, all I see is someone who doesn't have a very high opinion of herself... someone who admits to dressing to entice a man and goes just shy of all the way with someone that she admittedly doesn't know.

I recommend putting the brakes on, period. Be dated! Go on a date, don't hang out at his place. That just tells the guy that you're wanting it... and when he goes for it, you let him go as far as he can... that is a recipe for disaster.

If you're interested in him, you're going to have to start acting differently. You'll see if he wants to pursue a relationship with you or just wants a booty call. Next time he asks if you want to "hang out", see if he wants to go on a real date!

You deserve it!

[Alty]

That's right. the man should be in control.
That's what a woman enjoys. A strong man in control.

I'm talking reality, not Walt Disney.

Really? Well, I'm a woman, that's not what I enjoy, that's not reality for the majority of women I know.

I prefer a man that's an equal in every way, not some arse that thinks that just because he has a penis means he's the boss. Laughable.

I'm betting you're single.