[UnwantedHero]

I admit, I`ve always had trouble climaxing when with a girl, oral, vaginal it doesn`t matter, as good as it may feel, I don`t get that feeling of climax. I don`t have these problems when doing it myself, but when I`m with a girl I do. I don't have any other problems performing, other then this, and I have a healthy sex life, but I don`t know. My girlfriend is very bothered by this, because I can get her off no problem, but she feels it`s all her fault and that she's terrible and too blame for me not being able too climax with her. I know it`s not nerves because of her being around, because I have finished myself off plenty of times when she's around. I would just like too overcome this, for it`s a special thing too me and my girlfriend, and so that later on in life when I decide too have children, I don't have any troubles. Any ideas and advice would be very apreciated.

[Boricua1]

I'm no expert.. but theirs a lot of truth in the notion that if you want it done right you got to do it yourself... it seems you know how to get yourself off too well that you've left no room for anyone else... it's kind of like muscle memory but with an orgasm.. trust me been there before, and I'm a girl I could get myself off during a commercial break if I needed to... and with a person... well be prepared to stand by... LOL

The way I fixed this dilema.. is first.. lay off the self inflicted joy for a while.. Yes you heard me.. hands off yourself for a while...

Then try something new.. take time to be a bit experimental with your partner.. like try new things, role play, something new in foreplay.. strip tease.. anything to get different moods and "juices"/chemicals and such flowing.. even just body massages help to make the process more mentally involved... you get what I'm saying? Shift the focus and stimulate yourself in different ways

Heck even just trying hard to concentrate on other things during foreplay.. like really get mentally into that first deep "Bout to get it on" french kiss" and things should start to get better.. but definitely lay off the self satisfaction for a while, and try some new foreplay moves.. and games... not to spice things up... things may already be spicy.. but sometimes you just want a different flavor... I hope this helps

[UnwantedHero]

I guess I could try that, well at least keeping away from self pleasure, any other ideas are still welcome.

[Catsmine]

Boricua is on the right track. You have trained your nerves to respond to certain stimulus. You need to re-train them to other stimuli. Leaving yourself alone to provide a "reset" is a good first step. If you still can't finish with her, start with having her finish you manually, then maybe oral if she's willing, then try intercourse again.

[kp2171]

So... do you feel you can't mentally release?. be completely in the moment? This "performance" issue is lingering over you?

Have you tried self stimulating while she gives you attention? Bites at your neck or ears?

What do you think distracts you when you are with her? What specifically do you need that she might not be giving? Be specific. What barriers might you have? Have you had these with others?

[UnwantedHero]

I`m not sure too be honest, I don't think I have any mental problems, or I`m sure my mind doesn`t much, I think I`m usually pretty focused when in these acts. I`m not sure though too be honest, maybe next time I`ll have too mentally note what my thoughts are?