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    JoeCanada76's Avatar
    JoeCanada76 Posts: 6,669, Reputation: 1707
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    #1

    Dec 23, 2009, 12:47 AM
    Jealousy .
    Why do so many people get jealous. Especially when there is no need for Jealousy in the first place.

    I guess it is human nature, but would like all your thoughts on jealousy and why is it that so many people fall in this trap so easily?
    redhed35's Avatar
    redhed35 Posts: 4,221, Reputation: 1910
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    #2

    Dec 23, 2009, 12:53 AM

    I guess,its not being satisfied with what you have,looking at other people and thinking they have it all,when in fact its only from the outside its looks like they have it all..

    Begrudgeing what other people have is a waste of energy, I am more inclined to put that energy into achieving what I want instead.

    In the great words of the philosopher mick jagger,'who can't always get what you want,but if you take some time,you just might find, you get want you need'
    Clough's Avatar
    Clough Posts: 26,677, Reputation: 1649
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    #3

    Dec 23, 2009, 12:54 AM
    Hi, Joe!

    In my opinion, two of the main reasons that people do, is because they're insecure and immature.

    For example, when I was much younger, I used to be extremely jealous of other pianists who played like me. It was almost like I thought that there was no room for anyone else like that in my world.

    Now, there is much respect and sharing between other pianists and myself.

    Are there any particular situations that you're thinking of, please?

    Thanks!
    classyT's Avatar
    classyT Posts: 1,562, Reputation: 214
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    #4

    Mar 17, 2010, 08:33 AM

    Joe,

    I don't know, I guess when I have felt jealousy it is because I have felt threatened. You know, like something of mine will be taken away... example would be.. attention, love, admiration...

    Everyone feels it from time to time but I think that the most difficult people to be around are the jealous ones. Jealousy and coveting are cousins. We all need to be mindful of them... tis ugly!
    Lanichu's Avatar
    Lanichu Posts: 19, Reputation: 4
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    #5

    Mar 17, 2010, 08:41 AM

    I guess it depend on the person.
    I have low self-esteem and I get jealous easily.
    I get jealous of when my boyfriend is too nice to other girls.
    I just have no confidence in myself, hence bringing out the green eyes beast.
    classyT's Avatar
    classyT Posts: 1,562, Reputation: 214
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    #6

    Mar 17, 2010, 09:21 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Lanichu View Post
    I guess it depend on the person.
    I have low self-esteem and I get jealous easily.
    I get jealous of when my boyfriend is too nice to other girls.
    I just have no confidence in myself, hence bringing out the green eyes beast.
    Exactly... you feel jealous because you feel threatened that your boyfriend will like someone better than you. We all feel it at some point in our lives. It is normal!. it isn't good and it sure isn't fun. And when we feel it we need to recognize it, work on it and mature. Like I said, I know a few really really jealous people in EVERY aspect of their lives... cars, family, jewlery, kids,money, houses, attention, spouse.. they are jealous of everything and anything. They are awful to be around. Watching it in others, has helped me not want it in my life. That is my two cents. :)
    Stringer's Avatar
    Stringer Posts: 3,733, Reputation: 770
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    #7

    Mar 17, 2010, 10:03 AM

    I agree, jealousy comes in many 'colors.'

    I was fortunate, my Uncle Johnny was a great mentor to me in many ways. When I was young my family was pretty poor, we had the basics but that was pretty much it. I had all the love in the world from my mother who always said to 'count your blessings.' But when I saw someone who had things that I would like I felt cheated and was jealous.

    My uncle sat me down and said 'why do you spend all that energy on such an ugly emotion?' Why be jealous when you should be trying to find out how that person did it? Learn what you need to do to make yourself better in everything in your life. That energy is well spent not wasted on a silly emotion that gets you nowhere.'

    Stringer
    Gemini54's Avatar
    Gemini54 Posts: 2,871, Reputation: 1116
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    #8

    Mar 17, 2010, 05:54 PM
    I think that jealousy is ultimately based on fear - fear that something will be taken from you, fear that someone is better than you, fear that you can't control what other people do to you.

    It's important to differentiate between jealousy and envy.

    Envy is when you want something that someone else has, jealousy is when you're afraid that something you have will be taken away from you. I suspect that many people feel both these emotions at the same time!

    Why do so many people feel like this? Because it's hard for us to be happy with who we are and what we have - very few of us are comfortable in our own skins, and our Western consumer society doesn't want us to be - otherwise why would we always be craving to look younger, have more things, keep up with the Jones'?
    Devorameira's Avatar
    Devorameira Posts: 2,461, Reputation: 981
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    #9

    Mar 21, 2010, 02:57 PM

    I think it’s interesting that Webster defines jealousy as: intolerant of rivalry or unfaithfulness, disposed to suspect rivalry or unfaithfulness, hostile toward a rival or one believed to enjoy an advantage, vigilant in guarding a possession. Does that describe over half the world or what?

    In a nutshell, insecurity, low self-esteem, and/or lack of self-confidence are the major reasons for the “green-eyed monster”.
    Kitkat22's Avatar
    Kitkat22 Posts: 6,302, Reputation: 1191
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    #10

    Mar 21, 2010, 03:10 PM
    I always wanted to be beautiful and I felt as though I wasn't even pretty. I was jealous of the beautiful girls who always were invited to the parties and sleepovers. When I was ten my mom and dad told me jealousy was wrong and I should look at myself differently.
    My dad said "God made you and he made you the way he wanted you to be". I hated my auburn red hair and I wanted blue eyes instead of green.

    Mom said you are very pretty and my dad made me look in the mirror and he said ; "you have green eyes just like mine". Come to find out I wasn't ugly at all. I'm no Sophia Loren, but I'm not ugly. I think my jealousy sprang from being so harsh on myself because of a few snotty girls.:(
    Kitkat22's Avatar
    Kitkat22 Posts: 6,302, Reputation: 1191
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    #11

    Mar 21, 2010, 04:38 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Kitkat22 View Post
    I always wanted to be beautiful and I felt as though I wasn't even pretty. I was jealous of the beautiful girls who always were invited to the parties and sleepovers. When I was ten my mom and dad told me jealousy was wrong and I should look at myself differently.
    My dad said "God made you and he made you the way he wanted you to be". I hated my auburn red hair and i wanted blue eyes instead of green.

    Mom said you are very pretty and my dad made me look in the mirror and he said ; "you have green eyes just like mine". Come to find out I wasn't ugly at all. I'm no Sophia Loren, but I'm not ugly. I think my jealousy sprang from being so harsh on myself because of a few snotty girls.:(

    He was a wonderful man. I thank the lord for every moment I had with him. When my mom would pout over something he would always make her laugh by singing "Moonlight Becomes You" or "My Foolish Heaart". I got my love of music from him!

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