[amicon]

Nobody else knows what he wants-maybe he doesn't either-me if someone were to break up with me then send confused and confusing texts, I d walk and not speak to them again.

[redhed35]

This guy just keeps reeling you in,and then gives you another kick in the heart...

Instead of just ignoring him,change your number... it might be a hassel but the relief will be worth it...

No more texts or calls or taunts or confused mixed messages.

[benson1]

Ni more texts your right!
Is he just taunting me? Or is he just so messed up!

[amicon]

Do you see how this gets you confused? Nobody knows Benson. Just stop worrying about it. Don't overanalyze his behaviour or texts. Leave it be and move forward.

[benson1]

I cany change me no cause of work but ill def not text again! He said he would like to meet after he finds out about uni but I don't want to meet someone for them to reject me!
What if he wanted me back? Would it even be worth it!

[Imabadman]

Why do you keep doing this to yourself Benson? Seriously... I know you hurt. But you continue to swim in a toilet bowl of pain with this guy. Time to move on hun.

Do you enjoy being toyed with? Probably not.
Do you like all the false hope and empty promises? Negative.
Are you happy right now? Uh... NO.

You keep asking the same questons we keep giving the same answers. You have to want to help yourself first.

[amicon]

In one of the stickies, I think it's the one by friend4u, it mentions that of all the people who come here seeking advice after a breakup only about 3% get back with their ex. And of the ones whose threads I've read they have split up again causing even more heartbreak and pain. The way I see it is : you either decide that you re going to move on and not look back-heal and feel happy again,or you wait around in limbo for something that might never happen,trying to analyze and interpret his thoughts and future actions. I don't want to sound harsh but you re going around in circles.

[benson1]

I know to be honest I'm starting to bore myself with the whole thing!
Wish he would just leave me! If u don't want out withsomeone don't text to say u miss them and want to see them!
Its so cruel!

[amicon]

Then politely inform him-in no uncertain terms-that you want no more contact. That d be YOU taking charge of YOUR life.

[Imabadman]

I know to be honest I'm starting to bore myself with the whole thing!
Wish he would just leave me! If u don't want out withsomeone don't text to say u miss them and want to see them!
Its so cruel!

YOU Benson continue to feed his behavior.
YOU Benson have chosen not to put an end to this, his so called cruelity.
YOU Benson are living in hopes that he'll change.
YOU can only control YOU.

[benson1]

The ex just text me the following! I am going to ignore it but is thois confusion or is this a definite conclusion on his part is he buckling under pressure again please help:

Hi, I've been thinking the last few days about having the ball in my court and how honest you were about your feelings. Now it's my turn, I feel uncomfortable having the ball in my court and feel under pressure to give you an answer (which I know you deserve). I do have feelings for you but I don't love u. I'm sorry I know no one wants to hear that and it's hurtful but I want to be honest about it and the sooner you know the sooner time will pass and the sooner it will hurt less. I have realised that I want to fall in love because I've got all else going for me so the one thing I feel I can actually control I want to get right. I know I could be throwing something amazing away and I may die alone but at least I'd know I didn't waste your time. I would like to stay friends but I know you don't want that and I respect that. I also want to say there is no one else involved. I'm just really sorry, I feel like I've wasted 10 months of your life and now I've hurt you. I have enjoyed every day of it but I don't think it's love. I'm sorry. X

[redhed35]

No confusion there benson,that's as clear as day.

Its over, and hopefully the end of all the confusion.

Its over,he said he does not love you and might even die alone,but still does not want to continue the relationship...

If you needed an answer he gave you one...

I know it still hurts,but it will get better and hopefully no contact for both of you.

[Imabadman]

What don't you understand?

HE DOESN'T LOVE YOU.

[amicon]

Can you let this go now? At least he s being honest. Sometimes life sucks but all we can do is pick ourselves up and move forward.
It's remember remember the fifth of November-any good bonfires near you?

[Jayjay027]

How can you just tell her to "let this go" ?
Its easier said than done. 10 months may not be an awful long time, but a lot can happen in 10 months, and this is a difficult time for her, so it won't be easy for her to let it go.

Benson, after all this time, all this hurt and confusion, you finally got a definite answer. All you can do from here is respect his feelings. Delete his number, delete him off Facebook etc, you don't need any of that in your life while you're trying to get past this.
I know its difficult, it will be for a while, but at least he didn't waste 10 years then tell you this.
He was just being honest, and it's going to better for both of you in the long run.

Please come by every so often and let us know how you're keeping.
I really do wish you all the best.

[benson1]

How valuable is a gutt feeling?

[Jayjay027]

I think that depends on your state of mind at the time of the gut feeling.

One thing I always remember is - The greatest a woman has ever been given, is her intuition.

[benson1]

Yeah. To be honest I don't feel hurt or upset I'm not sitting crying!
I'm munching cheese on toast!
I feel in a good place!

There is a feeling in my gutt though he is feeling a lot worse than me

[Jayjay027]

Lol well that's good then.

[Imabadman]

Maybe it's just he cheese and toast your feeling in your gut.