[jswear28]

I don't really know why I'm on here asking for help. I have a problem but I don't want to stop, yet I realize I'm damaging myself and maybe I need some advice. I was depressed for about 5 months. It was horrible. Therapy did not help at all and I felt hopeless. About a month ago, I started opening my eyes to life. I was no longer depressed all the time. I started being more optimistic and it felt good. I would often drink when I was depressed, but for the last month, I have been drinking about 4-5 nights a week, mostly by myself at night. My dad is an alcoholic and I have easy access to the liquor cabinet. Sometimes I feel like it's the only thing I have to look forward to in the day, getting boozed up. I'm the most un-social person. I have no confidence whatsoever, I feel stupid when talking to people I don't know that well. There is only a few people I feel comfortable talking to. But when I drink, I can talk to anyone and I can have a blast. I think deep inside, I'm very scared of where I'm going in life. But whenever I think about it, I just say, I'll be fine once I graduate. I will go to college or do an apprenticeship with my dad, but I just don't know. Everything is so overwhelming for me. And I've started to just keep things off my mind. But if I keep things off my mind, I might not think of where I'm headed. I just really do not know what to do.

[sabrewolfe]

See if there is an Ala-teen group near your area. They are groups for young adults that have alcohol problems and/or are affected by parents who are alcoholics. I went to several in my teen years because of my father being an alcoholic, and I learned ways to deal with it and had a place to vent what was going on with myself at the time. The group is made up of people of your own age going through similar issues, others you can interact with that understand what you are going through.

[Clough]

Hi, jswear28!

Admitting that you have the problem is the first step. You've already done that and that's great! You're already making progress! :)

I too, was going to mention Alateen.

Have you spoken with a counselor at school about your issue?

Thanks!

[jswear28]

No I have not spoken with anyone about the issue. I have pretty much lost all trust with my parents and have not been getting along with my dad very well. The last thing I want is for my parents to find out about what is going on. They have gone through enough because of me, I don't want to put them through anymore.

[Clough]

Hi again, jswear28!

Do you know any other teens with drinking problems who would like to stop?

Thanks!

[Jake2008]

You are already reducing the harm by cutting back on your drinking, and that is a very good starting point.

I hope that you will check out all forms of therapy available to you. Things have come a long way in helping address drinking issues. Cognitive Behaviour Therapy is one, that teaches you, in practical ways, how to help yourself by changing thinking and is very successful for many.

The 'confidence' you feel when you have a few drinks before socializing is really caused by the initial affect of the alcohol itself. Barriers are reduced, and the depressive nature of alcohol, is what allows you to think you are a better conversationist, dancer, etc. But, I'm sure you've realized that that stage wears off quickly, and the more you drink, the less control you have.

It is really an artificial confidence, and cannot sustain you forever. Relying on the affects of alcohol to make you more relaxed in social situations so that you can enjoy yourself is only temporary.

You mentioned that you had little success with a counsellor, for depression. I don't know what type of counselling you had, or why it didn't work, but I urge you to first seek out your family doctor. Get a complete checkup, blood work, the works.

Ask him/her about medication to help with the depression. Be careful if you do take medication, you are taking a risk with drinking at the same time.

Also ask for specific therapy or groups for teens with alcohol problems. Not all programs are 12 step programs, and you have options, and some that were not around in your father's day.

I'm not knocking 12 step programs, merely pointing out that there are different ways to approach drinking problems with teenagers.

I really hope you will write again with any progress you have made.

A quick p.s. here. Please tell your parents what you are thinking of doing. Taking positive steps for yourself, will give them an opportunity to support you.

[jswear28]

I'm just so bored in life. I do play baseball and am looking at colleges. But my nature is just soooo lazy. I have no motivation whatsoever. I surprise myself by how un-motivated I really am. I even just lost my job that I just got 3 weeks ago because I was to hungover to go into work in the morning. I am no longer depressed but now I'm just confused with life. I try not to worry too much anymore. Because when I was depressed all I did was worry. But I think I should be worried. I really do not want to say anything to my parents. They have been through enough. I think maybe what would help is going to meetings with other teens. But I wouldn't know where to go.

[jmjoseph]

See if there is an Ala-teen group near your area. They are groups for young adults that have alcohol problems and/or are affected by parents who are alcoholics. I went to several in my teen years because of my father being an alcoholic, and I learned ways to deal with it and had a place to vent what was going on with myself at the time. The group is made up of people of your own age going through similar issues, others you can interact with that understand what you are going through.

I want to add that yes, he does need Alateen, but he also needs to sit in on some AA meetings themselves. He needs to see what it is that he is flirting with.

JSW, you are normal for feeling anxiety about your future, and not being comfortable talking to strangers. But you need to face these thoughts with a clear head. Don't turn yourself into an alcoholic over the day to day life of being a teenager. We all had trouble in our teen years. Some of us just handle them differently.
And for those feelings, you need counseling.

But for the alcoholic drinking. Yes, you are drinking like an alcoholic. You need a wakeup call. You need a program. NOW.

I was in your position. Son of an alcoholic. I drank from then(Jr.High), until about a year ago. It was a total of about 32 years. I can tell you first hand what it is you are dealing with. It isn't pretty. Do yourself a favor. Go to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting near you. Hear our stories.

There is a lot more in that bottle than you thought.

[jswear28]

I definitely agree, I know it's not easy to quit on my own. I just think I need a wake up call or something. To be honest, I used to smoke pot and that went on for at least a year strong and I smoked a lot. Towards the end of summer when I started seeing things in a new way and stopped being depressed, I really slowed down smoking. And now I'm proud to say that I haven't smoked in about a month and don't plan on smoking either. It wasn't easy at all but I knew I had to stop because I was not headed in the right direction. Right now I just can't see how much alcohol is really affecting my life. I mean I know that someday I will but I can't just stop. If I went to alateen or to some kind of meetings, say they helped me out a little. Would this mean that I wouldn't be drinking at all or could I still limit myself to some weekend with some friends? I know it sounds stupid but I can't see myself just completely not drinking at all.

[Clough]

Are you going to answer the question that I asked you in post #5, jswear28?

Thanks!

[jswear28]

Hi again, jswear28!

Do you know any other teens with drinking problems who would like to stop?

Thanks!

Most of my friends which are very few, do drink. But I'm pretty sure they don't drink as much as I do. So the answer I guess would be no. I do not know any other teens with drinking problems.