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HURT GRANDMA · Dec 11, 2009, 02:17 PM

My daughter just had her first child and everything I do is wrong and she hurts my feeling all the time why

Silverfoxkit · Dec 11, 2009, 02:27 PM

There could be a number of reasons your daughter is behaving differently.

Your daughter could be going through some sort of postpartum depression. Are there any other symptoms? Changes in appetite? Trouble sleeping? Lack of enthusiasm or pleasure? Feelings of sadness or worthlessness? Postpartum depression is a fairly common problem caused by changes in hormone levels.

Your daughter might also simply feel that you are stepping on her toes. Are you giving overt amounts of advice or criticizing any of her parenting? Some times loving grandmothers with good intentions don't realize how overbearing or hurtful they are being themselves with well meant advice or help. How has your behavior changed since the baby was born?

artlady · Dec 11, 2009, 02:33 PM

Perhaps as silverfox said (above) she is a little tense and feeling some postpartum stress.

When I was a new Mom,I wanted to do things my way.When my Mom tried to tell me things to help,I felt that she didn't trust my judgment and my parenting skills and I also got a little touchy about it.

Tell her how you feel and let her know that you are only trying to help.
In the future try to wait until she asks for advice before you give it.
It's a hard time being a new Mom and sad to say we always take out our stresses on the ones we love.
Bear with her,I am sure she will calm down as she gets more comfortable in her new role.

HURT GRANDMA · Dec 11, 2009, 05:18 PM

I have not done anything but praise the way she is mothering her daughter, and she does not have post part depression - I let all of her inappropriate comments to me pass because I thought she might have hormone trouble but my grand daughter is 11 months old.

J_9 · Dec 11, 2009, 05:23 PM

Who is "she?" Your daughter, daughter-in-law, niece... etc.

Fr_Chuck · Dec 11, 2009, 05:27 PM

So what is your question, your someone has a daughter and what is her problem.

talaniman · Dec 11, 2009, 06:17 PM

No matter the cause, leave a person alone who has bad behavior.

itried · Dec 11, 2009, 08:16 PM

Maybe she thinks that your praise is condescending and she doesn't really care what you think about her parenting skills anyway. More than likely, all the tricks and techniques you employed when raising her are irrelevant and outdated and don't apply to how she wants her daughter raised. How about you examine your behaviour and how your actions make her feel instead of wondering what is wrong with her.

Being a Grandmother may have been one of your aspirations in life but that your daughter is a GROWN human being who doesn't need your "praise" anymore. There comes a time when the old dynamic of mother-daughter that you once shared has run it's course. She's now a big girl who should be spoken to and treated as an adult. Her kids aren't an extension of you and your life, however it is that you see it being. Try relating to her as a person instead of as your daughter.

Just something for you to think about.

J_9 · Dec 11, 2009, 08:19 PM

To shed more light on the subject...

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...hy-424215.html

ScottGem · Dec 11, 2009, 08:44 PM

I've merged your two threads. Please use the Answer This Question options rather than start a new thread. As you can see starting a new thread without context causes confusion,