[sccerkid12]

Im a 14 year old guy. So I've been in an on and off relationship with this girl Trisha for about 2 years. I know I'm in love with her. I would never hurt her. We were on again for almost two wweks now then she broke up with me because she accused me cheating. I've cheated before but that was years ago. I've also been cheated on and I completely hate the feeling of thinking your both in love when find out the other is secretly hurting you. I didn't cheat on Trisha but this other girl Dana told Trisha I was dating her, when I wasn't. Now trisha broke up with me and I'm doing everything to get her back. I've never felt so sad and alone. Usually I'm not like this. I'm the very athletic, and social guy with many friends. I've had dated many other girls but Trisha is the only one who made me feel great. Her love is something I can't take for granted. She means everything to me. She said she hated me and I'm just so sad. Please tell me what I should do.

[jaime90]

" I've had dated many other girls but Trisha is the only one who made me feel great. Her love is something i can't take for granted. She means everything to me. She said she hated me and im just so sad. Please tell me what I should do."

You are only 14- you are too young to be dating, let alone "many other girls." Love, and relationships require a lot of effort, commitment, and maturity that is obviously beyond what you comprehend. If a relationship is going to last, it cannot be "on and off for 2 years." You say that out of all the other girls you've dated, Trisha is the only one who made you feel great... That's just it, she made you FEEL great, and this is what happens when you base your relationship on the girl making you feel great. Love is not a feeling or an emotion- it is a choice, and a commitment... You did not LOVE this girl, you felt like you loved this girl. You cheated on her a year ago, so she has a right to be suspicious of you cheating again- she doesn't trust you- if she doesn't trust you she doesn't love you. You cheated, so you were not committed to her, you weren't committed to her, so you do not love her. She said she hated you- how can you say in one sentence that you cannot take her love for granted, and in the next sentence say that she hates you? The concept of love has gone over your head. You need to rethink about what love really means. Move onward and upward from this childhood romance, and hold up on dating until you learn a little bit more about what love is, and what a relationship would look like. Cheating is not acceptable, and you cannot justify it by saying that it happened a year ago. If I was her, I would've broken up with you the first time. I'm sorry to be so harsh, I know you're upset, but all of your "relationships" should stay at friendship level until you are much older-if you hold off on relationships, you will be saving yourself a lot of stress, trouble, and hurt that a 14 year old should not have to go through.

[sccerkid12]

How would you know if I'm in love or not? Love is something anyone expirences at any age. I prob should have mentionoed I'm almost 13 too. Anyway, I looked up the definition for love and found out that I am not in love. How I feel for Trisha is so much deeper than the crappy definition I was given.

[jaime90]

How would I know if you are in love or not? Love is not a mere feeling that is hidden and experienced personally between two people- Love is your actions toward another person, which can be visually seen, and observed by others. Since I have read your post, I know that you have cheated on Trisha. I also know that you put a lot of emphasis on how good Trisha makes you feel. You even stated above that how you FEEL for Trisha is so much deeper than the crappy definition you were given. That's just it, it's how you FEEL about Trisha. These feelings DO NOT last forever. When the feelings fade, where will you stand with Trisha? You won't. This is why love is a choice. When love becomes a choice, rather than a feeling, THAT is where true love deepens.

Here is an AWESOME, and very ACCURATE, depiction of what love really is:

Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we should also be willing to lay down out life for others.

Love, is way more intense than just hanging out, and making each other smile.

When you say you cheated on her, this implies that you are having sex, and slept with another girl behind Trisha's back. Because you are only 13, or 14... (there's some mixed information there, it's a wonder this girl doesn't trust you,) I will not give you advice. Having sex is illegal at your age. As I just said to a 14 year old girl who was having sex- I will give dating advice to young teens who abstain from having sex, are mature, and are not dating around for sport. Your entire post was immature. If you loved Trisha, you would not have cheated on her. Trisha does not feel loved, because Trisha is not loved.

TRUE love, can only be experienced when you are mature enough to understand what true love is, and what true love does for another person- Love is a VERB, and true love doesn't cheat.

[FadedMaster]

Jaime couldn't have said it much better. You speak about how you feel, but not of how Trisha feels. Love is a two-way street. You cannot go on about yourself if honestly care about her.

Now, I'm not saying the whole, "If you love her, let her go," thing. What I'm saying is, truly understand if she is better off without. What trust could she of had in you if she took the word of this other girl over yours? Two years of on again, off again... with you dating others during this? Hm. You must see how this looks, no?

And don't take offense, but I was your age once. Thought I knew what love was. Ha! Boy was I way off in left field.

[sccerkid12]

Well she does love me, and everything is better now. We're dating again and we're just two kids blinded by love. COuldn't be happier.

[Unknown008]

You're 14 or 12! :confused:

In your OP, you said you were 14, and in your other post, you said you're nearly 13, meaning you're 12.

Also, as you yourself mentioned, you two are blinded by love, or whatever you are feeling right now, and not getting the whole picture of it.

In any case, you are too young to engage yourself in a serious relationship. You have your studies. Go out, meet friends, be sure to get a good education so that when you are finally ready, you can live an easier life.

[jmjoseph]

Im a 14 year old guy. So ive been in an on and off relationship with this girl Trisha for about 2 years. I know im in love with her. I would never hurt her. We were on again for almost two wweks now then she broke up with me because she accused me cheating. I've cheated before but that was years ago. I've also been cheated on and I completely hate the feeling of thinking your both in love when find out the other is secretly hurting you. I didnt cheat on Trisha but this other girl Dana told Trisha I was dating her, when I wasn't. Now trisha broke up with me and I'm doing everything to get her back. I've never felt so sad and alone. Usually im not like this. I'm the very athletic, and social guy with many friends. I've had dated many other girls but Trisha is the only one who made me feel great. Her love is something i can't take for granted. She means everything to me. She said she hated me and im just so sad. Please tell me what I should do.

You are 12, how did you "cheat" YEARS AGO?

Did you cheat on a test?

Go enjoy being young. There will be many loves in your life.

[brunettebeauty]

How close are trisha and dana? If they arnt that close and she believes her then she doesn't love you bt if they are bff's then its understanderable for her to believe her... friends usually come first. Bt young love can easliy be confused with lust.. trust me I know... and I'm not saying your not in love I know like 4 couples who've been together since they were 14... so wish you n trisha the best...

[jmjoseph]

how close are trisha and dana? if they arnt that close and she belives her then she doesnt love you bt if they are bff's then its understanderable for her to believe her.....friends usually come first. bt young love can easliy be confused with lust..trust me i know... and im not saying your not in love i know like 4 couples who've been together since they were 14...so wish u n trisha the best...

Please read the site rules. Textspeak is not allowed. Thank you.

[JBeaucaire]

Too many people believe that love is a feeling and it that gives you permission to ignore everything else going on in the universe around you.

Love is so much more than that, it is something you do.

Your posts are inconsistent enough to clearly indicate you are not accurate with your words, so your feelings should be dealt with as equally unreliable.

If you want to experience all that love has to offer, make sure you are looking for ways you can make her life better, not looking for ways to assure you two stay together no matter what.

[jaime90]

I agree with the above. Love is not a feeling, it is an action- a verb. A commitment, etc. Lying and cheating, IS not love.

You are dating again, but you are "blinded by love," It disappoints me how you throw around such a powerful word when you just admitted to cheating on the poor girl.

I think you need to wait to date until you are more mature. And also, I think that Trisha needs to get her head on straight- there's no way, if I were her, or any woman (or girl), that lying and cheating would be on my list of qualities of the man I wanted to be involved with. Especially if he cheated ON me once before, and is known to lie and be inconsistent.

You are too young to have this bad of a track record. This is unfortunate, because it really will affect your future relationships. If I were you, I would see a break up on the horizon and coming up fast... There's no way you two can last if you both are this immature about your relationship. Enough said on my part.

[AManWithNoName]

Your 14, you don't know what love is, I don't know what love is, and cheating is the most discusting most hurtful things anyone can do to a young girl's self asteem. I say let her go, if she doesn't believe you, is she really worth your time
Get over it, your tooooo young to date anyway

[AManWithNoName]

How would you know if im in love or not? Love is something anyone expirences at any age. I prob shoulda mentionoed im almost 13 too. Anyways, i looked up the definition for love and found out that i am not in love. How i feel for Trisha is so much deeper than the crappy definition i was given.

Love for you, doesn't exsist, it is not something you are worthy of pal

[JBeaucaire]

Love for you, doesn't exsist, it is not something you are worthy of pal

The tone and content of this post was completely unhelpful. I hope the poster will reconsider his goal in posting here and try to be constructive in at least SOME small way in every post.

[jaime90]

I object. A 12, 13, 14 year old kid does deserve love- at his age however, it shouldn't come from a young lady unless it is completely innocent, serious, and gone about in a mature way (and only if he really IS 14). He is deserving of love from his friends and family, but in my opinion, a young woman should be out of the picture until he understands what love between a man and woman really is.

[confuzed1]

If you have been honest with her completely then you have done your part. If she believes you then that's good, if she doesn't then that's her problem. Also many teens and adults confuze love with lust or liking, be careful on that.