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pinkgirl12 · Dec 10, 2009, 11:37 PM

I recently have been hanging out more with one of my co workers. For a few months we were really good friends and would constantly flirt. He has hooked up with 2 other women in the workplace both of which were more into him than he was into them.

Him and I have hooked up a few times and still get along really well at work. We have decided not to tell anyone at work for the time being. Right now I am just worried he will start acting weird or ignore me since we have hooked up. I do not know what to do because I think I am starting to like him! Help!

rockie100 · Dec 11, 2009, 12:14 AM

I think the reason he didn't want anyone to know of your hook-up, is so that it wouldn't stop others from hooking up with him. I don't think he plans on stoping at co-worker # 3. Seems as though he is a player, and has added 'hooking-up' as a added benefit to his job. Good for you if you can remain friends through this, but I wouldn't count on having anything meaningful blossom from your 'nights of fun'. Don't get to attached to the idea of working with him for very much longer eather... He, probably, will be getting a sexual harassment charge put on him in the near future.
Sorry if this was harsh. Remember there are other fish in the sea. Id try to sear clear of the ones that hang out at the same water cooler.

amicon · Dec 11, 2009, 12:27 AM

Can you see a pattern here? I can. Easy pickings at work syndrome. And there's a name for people like him-it's called a player. Don't fall into the trap of being just another conquest on his scoresheet.

Gemini54 · Dec 11, 2009, 01:23 AM

I'm not sure what you mean by 'hooking up', but my advice follows that of the others - alarm bells ringing, red flags waving.

Don't get involved. Flirt, if you must, but don't go any further.

Workplace relationships that don't work out are a disaster. You keep having to see them, and everybody knows what happened. Then, what of he 'hooks up' with someone else in the workplace?

No, don't do it.

aiyerrc · Dec 11, 2009, 04:18 AM

Never let a man or woman interfere with that paycheck. You do say though that you still get along during the work day after hooking up a few times, yet you are worried that he will start getting weird? This guy will be as friendly as he needs to be to keep you in back pocket. From an outsider looking in on the situation, this might end poorly, especially because you know of other women he has been with.

pinkgirl12 · Dec 11, 2009, 08:40 AM

I see what you all are saying, but it is getting harder to see him everyday at work. I think I am getting too attached and need to step back from it all.

He did hook up with 2 other people at work, but these were people that pursued him and he had no interest in. He told me that he has always liked me and thought I was better than those other people.

Part of me thinks it will end bad and we won't be friends, but if he is already talking about hanging out in the future the other part of me thinks positively... Maybe it is just to soon to tell?

amicon · Dec 11, 2009, 08:52 AM

As regards his past with the other coworkers,you've only got his word for that-and as I can see red flags flying all over the place- I can only add, stay away from this.

aiyerrc · Dec 11, 2009, 09:16 AM

Originally Posted by pinkgirl12

I see what you all are saying, but it is getting harder to see him everyday at work. I think I am getting too attached and need to step back from it all.

He did hook up with 2 other people at work, but these were people that pursued him and he had no interest in. He told me that he has always liked me and thought I was better than those other people.

Part of me thinks it will end bad and we won't be friends, but if he is already talking about hanging out in the future the other part of me thinks positively....Maybe it is just to soon to tell??

As a young gent who holds a little bit a pride for himself and the opposite sex, I don't "hook up" with people unless I am at the least interested in them. Are those his words or yours, because either way, no offense, I think they are BS. Either he's lying to you to keep you coming for more, or you have created that illusion yourself. I don't doubt that the women may have been the aggressors, but I'm sure an egotistical guy going for the hat trick in the office doesn't mind being pursued... I also, don't mean to poke fun, but if you honestly believe the whole "i like you more than them" ploy, then that's bad. I haven't pulled that kind of stunt since I was a sophomore in high school, and this guy is using it on grown women...

But hey, you are the only one that knows him. If I had 20 seconds with him, I could tell you what his intentions were, and all signs point to a physical relationship, nothing more. Oh, and don't forget, this is your means of living... whether he's a semi genuine guy or not, coworkers are always bad news,

pinkgirl12 · Dec 11, 2009, 09:34 AM

Hmm now after thinking about it all I feel like I need to just stay away from hanging out with him outside of work. It is going to be hard since I do like him and like spending time with him.

If he asks to hang out again I think I will suggest doing something outside of hanging out at my place and see how he reacts. If he can't handle that then I know his intentions are purely physical... That or I just won't even give him the time of day!

I didn't want to get hurt, but now I feel like I have gone too far down the road and am starting to regret my decisions.

aiyerrc · Dec 11, 2009, 09:37 AM

Listen, I don't want to contradict what I said earlier, but you never fall unless you jump. If you think he is recipricating the feelings you think you have for him, then sure why not, we are just here to tell you some of the general ways these situations play out, but we only know because people have don't them in the past. So if you think its worth it, go for it... like I already said, you have a bunch of strnagers telling you what to do... you know the guy better than any of us... if you think he's worth it, then that settles it and Good Luck

pinkgirl12 · Dec 11, 2009, 09:52 AM

Thank you aiyerrc! I am going to play it by ear. Only time will tell and it is true that you can never fall unless you jump!

talaniman · Dec 11, 2009, 10:06 AM

He has hooked up with 2 other women in the workplace both of which were more into him than he was into them.

I see you in the same place they are, and hope you keep your business, and your pleasure very separate. Co workers make lousy long term partners, and workplace relationships are hard to get over when they fail. Usually they do fail for many reasons, and the emotional fallout affects your personal life, and your job.

No doubt he will tell the next female co worker the same thing, but add your name to the list of those that ran after him.

JChamizzle · Dec 11, 2009, 10:16 AM

I recently have been hanging out more with one of my co workers. For a few months we were really good friends and would constantly flirt. He has hooked up with 2 other women in the workplace both of which were more into him than he was into them.

Him and I have hooked up a few times and still get along really well at work. We have decided not to tell anyone at work for the time being. Right now I am just worried he will start acting weird or ignore me since we have hooked up. I do not know what to do because I think I am starting to like him! Help!

Well... let me make it plain for you... two red flags here: 1, he has/is messing around with two other women at the work place and 2, he is not as interested in them as they are in him. STAY AWAY FROM HIM! He is a player and if you let him play you then it will make your life a living hell! This guy is an insult to all men everywhere because real men don't play like that, they treat women with respect. This guy is bad news.. forget him and move on. You're way better than that.

Jake2008 · Dec 11, 2009, 11:20 PM

Trust your instincts!

If the relationship has to be kept a secret, you shouldn't be in it.