[Meghann789]

3 weeks ago my fiancé was killed when a taxi cab ran a red light and hit him in San Francisco. We were together since I was 19 (I'm now 24), lived together for the last 3 1/2 years, and were engaged for the last 1 1/2 years. I had just started planning the wedding and we had our whole lives mapped out together. He is my soul mate. His interests became mine and vice versa. We did EVERYTHING together and weren't apart except work/school. We loved every minute spent together and both were the happiest we'd ever been. In a matter of minutes, my future (and his) was taken away. I don't even know how to begin to deal with something this life changing. I just want to find someone like me (young, about to start their lives together) who had something to sudden and tragic happen whom I can relate to. All the support groups I've found are either for parents or older couples. Please any comments/advice means so much. I don't even know how to begin to pick up the pieces of my life and live.

[justcurious55]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I really don't know what else to say. But welcome to askmehelpdesk. I hope you'll stick around, there's some really great people on this site and I'm sure some of them will be along soon :)

[dontknownuthin]

I'm very sorry for your tragic loss and the pain you are experiencing. I would suggest that you contact your local hospital and ask if they have a bereavement counselor on staff, who can help you find, or form, a group to get the support you are seeking. You might also find other young people who have lost fiancés or young spouses in military actions in your area through veterans groups.

I wish there was some magical thing I could say that would change things for you but nothing seems adequate. I can only share advise that I was given by my mother, which helped me a lot when I went through a different but similarly hard loss. She said to accept the gifts and ignore the wrappings when people offered their support and condolences. Having lost a child herself, my mom had experienced people saying things like that my sister was "in a better place", or being "babysat by the angels - how lucky!" and of course, "you will have another baby" as if she was a pair of old shoes that could be readily replaced. These well-meaning statements were all very hurtful until my mom changed her perspective and decided to just take the intent and ignore how that intent was presented - the intent was support, love, caring.

Anyway, that new perspective helped her, and it also helped me. For what it's worth, I hope it will help you, too.

Take care.

[trazmomo]

Hi, I am so sorry to hear that. But my fiancé has passed away 3 months ago very suddenly. I am 26 and we were together since I was 19. We loved each other so much and do everything together. We have planned our wedding on 10th Oct 2010. I am now lost with everything... life is totally different without him... so I know exactly how you are feeling...
But think in this way, I 'm sure your fiancé would like to see you can move on with his legacy... ( that's what I keep saything to myself)

[lila7040]

Hey I'm real sorry to hear about your sudden loss... I know how you feel... because my fiancé passed away a month and a half ago... nov 4 to be exact. I'm extremely heart broken... I don't feel like the same person. I'm never as happy as I used to be and I just wish I was there to stop him... but unfortunately I couldn't. Our future was no more... however I just thank god for whatever comes my way... because we all have to go sometime and you know what... everything is in Gods hands no matter what. It just wasn't meant to be
If you ever need to talk just email me.

[JudyKayTee]

I am a widow. We were only married 5 years. I found that the Red Cross had a list of support groups in my area, although I chose not to attend a support group.

I realize you want to talk to people your own age but grief is pretty much the same for everyone, every age group. It's no easier or harder in your 20's than it is in your 40's. Everyone who is suffering a loss handles things in a different manner, is almost on a different time frame. If you cannot find a group of people your age you WILL benefit from any group.

You have just started on a very long road and I wish you well.

[Fr_Chuck]

First I am sorry for your loss, but why do you feel the loss of you at a young age is any different than a loss of someone that is older, In fact if the older couples had been together 10, 20 or 40 years, their loss and even future may be harder to deal with in the longer term.

There is no real answer except take advantage of groups that you have, and don't prejudge them by age. A older lady may have some feelings and advice to a younger lady than you could ever image.

[Clough]

Hi, Meghann789!

Yes, please take advantage of any group therapy that might be available. Larger communities will have grief support groups located in churches and community centers. Typically, there is no cost.

I too, am very sorrry for your loss! It will take some time for you to work through this, but you can do it!

Thanks!

[TNP73]

Hi, I'm very sorry for your loss. I too have loss my fiancé on December 3, 2009 of a stroke. Our Wedding was planned, we paid for everything, my dress was beautiful and our wedding date was March 6, 2010. I have my good days and I have bad days. I continue to pray everyday because without GOD and family I wouldn't make it. My fiancé treated me like a queen and I always wonder why GOD put this man in my life to take him from me.

I keep myself busy with coworkers and friends because I hate going home at night without him. Everywhere I went he was there. It's going to take sometime to get through this but god will see you through.

Take care and God bless you

Tonya

[JudyKayTee]

Hi, I'm very sorry for your loss. I too have loss my fiance on December 3, 2009 of a stroke. Our Wedding was planned, we paid for everything, my dress was beautiful and our wedding date was March 6, 2010. I have my good days and I have bad days. I continue to pray everyday because without GOD and family I wouldn't make it. My fiance treated me like a queen and I always wonder why GOD put this man in my life to take him from me.

I keep myself busy with coworkers and friends because I hate going home at night without him. Everywhere I went he was there. It's going to take sometime to get through this but god will see you through.

Take care and God bless you

Tonya

I am sorry for your loss and I am glad religion works for you. Everyone who posts on this board, however, is not Christian and "God will see you through" this may not be helpful and, in fact, could be upsetting.

[linz9454]

I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my fiancé suddenly on Nov 9, 2009. I still can't believe he is gone and it has been almost 7 months since he passed. These past few months have been very difficult. I thank god for my wonderful family and friends who have supported me and continue to be by my side. From Richie passing so early in life, I have truly thought about how short life can be and how I need to appreciate every day. We are lucky to be alive. I still cry for me and for Richie. He was so full of life and passion. It wasn't fair that he had to leave this world so soon, but life isn't fair. Everyday I think of Richie and will always know he wants me to be happy. I am a stronger, better person because of him so he will always be with me. Be kind to yourself during this difficult time and tell friends and family what you need from them. God bless you and I am so sorry for your loss.

[askme110]

Does this get better? I lost my fiancé in a car accident this week, and I can't bring myself to go on. Please help.

[hannahlalip]

Hi, I am so sorry for your loss. My aunt ( she's like my second mother) is in the same situation as you. Her fiancé was killed by a truck on the side of the highway ( he worked for the DOT) They were planning their future together. They were going to have kids and get married, they even bought a house together. I don't think that there is anything that anyone can do to ease your or her pain, but I hope it helps to know that somewhere in the world, someone else knows how you feel. Even thought this horrible thing happened to you two, I hope you know that you don't have to feel horrible alone. My heart goes out to you and to my aunt because I know that your life has changed forever. But, I know deep down in my heart that somehow, this had to happen for a reason, and that somehow, you will be together again <3

[golfer5150]

I too am sorry for your loss. I lost my fiancé a month ago tomorrow of a sudden liver failure. I am on about 6 medications in order to try to cope and seeing a therapist as well and they are not even helping. My daily prayers are to see him again someday but I know deep in my heart that it will never happen. I didn't have closure with him because he was unconscious so I didn't get to say goodbye and I am just totally devastated and wish I were dead myself. All I have to cling to right now is God and writing in my daily journal.

Take care and God bless you

Rhonda

[JudyKayTee]

Rhonda, I hope you're still reading. I was widowed. No two people grieve alike, but I do understand your pain. I can tell you things will never be the same, but it will get better. I promise.

Tell "us" about him, what made him so special.

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