[n j]

My son is 11 yrs old, and he has a problem with stealing, he has always taken things at first it was things like batteries or pens but now it has esculated to money, phones and games consoles. Last year he stole £40 out of my purse, he has stolen £90 from 2 teachers in primary school, in the last 2 weeks he has taken 2 psp's a ds and a mobile phone which I had bought for my children including him for christmas. I managed to get them back, but he did steal a psp a further 2 times. He has also stolen 3 mobile phones from school during this time, I've managed to return 2 of them. I've informed his school and since the third 1 I've informed the police. He shows no remorse, and will only answer 'i don't know' to any questions put to him. He even has a plan written down which details where, when and how he will steal the items. We have spoken to numerous professionals which include social services and a phycologist but still have no idea why he feels he needs to do this. He has recently been rereffered to the phycologist but it can take months. My son can also get very aggressive when he has been found with items that do not belong to him, he has kicked and punched his step father, lashed out at myself (his mum), trashed his room, to the point it now has just a bed and a wardrobe. I'm worried for my son, he can be a lovely little boy, but when he is he's usually up to something. Our family cannot live like this much longer everybody feels the effects of this behaviour, just last night my 5 yr old son said 'all I want is for... to be good mum' and I can't do a damn thing about it. I love my son with all my heart but I can't do this much longer. Does anyone have any advice please, I am willing to try anything.

[smdk]

Talk with his teachers and try to talk with him maybe he wants something but instead of asking you he goes and steals it...

[smdk]

Maybe he steals because he finds it 'cool' or he enjoys the attention he gets or his friends instigate him or some school bully threatens him and tell him to steal and bring stuff for him...

[n j]

Thanks for your suggestions smdk, we have tried looking at all those things, and speaking to him,the answer is always I don't know. We are desperate now, not only is our family life being destroyed but also my sons future, if he has one. I am really scared that he is going to steal from the wrong person and end up getting beaten up or stabbed. If he would just talk I think we could start to get to the bottom of this, how do I get him to tell me or even someone else what is wrong, I know my son is deep down a lovely little boy, I've seen it.

[smdk]

Maybe he has kleptomania... en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kleptomania

[smdk]

En.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kleptomania go to this link

[Gemini54]

You son needs professional help. Speak to the school or your doctor or social services and see if you can fast track the referral to the psychologist.

Why don't you speak to your local police station, and next time he steals something you ring them and march him down there and they can show him the effects of continued crime and have a really stern talk to him.

It may be that the behavior is compulsive - and counseling may reveal this - but in the end he will have to take some responsibility for stealing from people - you can't keep covering his tracks.

[Fr_Chuck]

I would recommend a boot camp or other displinary camp.

What punishments is he getting for the things he does ?

[Jake2008]

It is possible that your son is stealing, and selling the goods for drugs. It isn't all that unusual anymore for kids that young to be gambling as well, and have gambling debt. I know that will raise a few eyebrows, but it happens, and is happening.

Does he spend a lot of time on the computer? See if you can't check and find out what he's been up to, and who he's associating with.

Do you know his friends, or does he do this alone. If not, find out who the parents are, and speak to them as well.

When is the last time he had a checkup at the doctor's office. Might be good to rule out anything that may be causing this extreme anger.

Go in yourself, and speak with his teacher, or the principal, and gather as much information as you can as to his activities during school, recess, etc. Has he been caught at school, or anywhere else? Has he stolen from friends houses that you know of.

It might also be worthwhile to really evaluate what he does with his time, and keep tabs on everything, particularly if he starts to skip school, or hang out after curfew.

What is his relationship like with his step father, and is his own father in the picture? If he is, does he seem him regularly, and what is their relationship like.

Finally, start keeping a diary. When you talk to the school/teachers/psychiatrist/family doctor/other parents/police etc. When you do get in to see a psychologist, this will be helpful information.

I am hoping that your intuition is right, and there is a cause for all this behaviour. I am hoping that with a little aggressive action on your part now, you could nip this in the bud.

[buddymymate]

My son had stolen since elleven, he even stole £30 from my purse. We caught him every time, and he had to pay it back through his pocket money and even was grounded. He is now nineteen and has stolen a considerable amount of money from his sister. We finally took him to the police station, and he was willing and pleaded guilty, he finally said he needed help. He was buying drugs with this, because this made him feel better, but very soon he was paranoid, angry. I saw no other alternative, I just wanted my son back, as he could be loving and thoughtful and this boy was no longer in him. This was his first big offence, and he got 10 months at the crown court, this ripped my heart out, but I know it's the best thing. Ive visited him since, he is that boy again, clean of the drugs and getting alsorts of help to re-habilitate him, I will get that boy back that was loving and thoughtful, but it took this and this has split my family, his sister will never talk to him again.