[Alty]

I often told my son that he'd be an only child if he didn't smarten up. Why do you think my kids are 4 years apart? It took me that long to work up enough courage to try again. ;)

He was a handful. A sweet child, but turn away for one second and you could guarantee that something bad was going to happen.

One of my favorite stories about Jared is the time he found R's lighter and decided try and melt two pieces of plastic together. R and I were upstairs. All of a sudden Jared comes running upstairs, looks at both of us and says "Don't worry, I put out the fire and my butt is fine".

What? That doesn't make any sense. Wait... WHAT FIRE!?

The plastic had caught on fire, Jared dropped it, it fell on the arm of our brand new sectional that we saved 3 years to buy. The sectional started on fire so Jared sat on it to put it out. The hole is still there. I refuse to have it fixed. It's a great thing to point out to him whenever he gets a bit lippy. ;)

[ohsohappy]

HAHA I like this a LOT!

[Catsmine]

At the age of three, my son got a punch balloon. If you don't remember them they're balloons that have a large rubber band at the knot and you punch them and they make a sound like maracas (sort of). His was about two feet in diameter and he was having a wonderful time with it. Our backs got turned (yeah, bad move) and he decided that the cat should have a turn. He picks up the cat and bounces it on the balloon, saying "Bounce, kitty, bounce!"

As expected, the cat grabs and BOOM, no more balloon.

Traumatized kitty hid for three days.

[Alty]

We had the same experience with a rubber ball Cats. It was huge. Bigger then Jared. He couldn't even grab it. Neither could I. I don't know where my parents found this goodyear blimp, but it was every color of the rainbow and Jared loved it.

So we're at my parents house, in the backyard. Jared kicks the ball at Indy and it smacks poor Indy right in the head. Indy was not happy, tucked tail and hid under the table.

Two days later we asked my parents to look after Indy for the weekend. We were going camping. When we came back we found out that Indy had eaten the ball. Yes, he ate it!

For around a week every poo that Indy took was the color of a rainbow.

[ohsohappy]

We had the same experience with a rubber ball Cats. It was huge. Bigger then Jared. He couldn't even grab it. Neither could I. I don't know where my parents found this goodyear blimp, but it was every color of the rainbow and Jared loved it.

So we're at my parents house, in the backyard. Jared kicks the ball at Indy and it smacks poor Indy right in the head. Indy was not happy, tucked tail and hid under the table.

Two days later we asked my parents to look after Indy for the weekend. We were going camping. When we came back we found out that Indy had eaten the ball. Yes, he ate it!

For around a week every poo that Indy took was the color of a rainbow.

HAHAHA gross but funny.

[Alty]

Ohso, I could write a book about Jared's first 5 years. I'm surprised I survived it. I'm surprised he did! ;)

[ohsohappy]

Ohso, I could write a book about Jared's first 5 years. I'm surprised I survived it. I'm surprised he did! ;)

I'm not surprised, youre' a good mamma. :)

[Alty]

I'm not surprised, youre' a good mamma. :)

:o Thanks.

I'm okay. I'm not perfect, no one is. Also, those darn kids didn't come with instructions. For instance, a book about what to do when your 3 year old shoves a small toy up her nose, well, that would be helpful. ;)

Also, no one tells you that a baby can poo so violently that the poo blows right out of their diaper and onto their neck, in the winter, when you're at a restaurant, with no extra clothes.

There's no mention of the fact that breastfeeding can hurt and those little gluttons will eat for an hour every hour. Do the math. You're feeding that thing 24/7!

Then there's the sleepless nights. How are you supposed to function on 1 hour of sleep (not consecutively) for 3 months or more?

Did you know that your hips will never be the same? They never go back to what they were. NEVER! Also, that last 10 pounds of babyfat, you may as well get used to it, it's not going anywhere. For those that do lose the weight, well, isn't it nice to be able to afford a tummy tuck, lyposuction and a personal trainer. BOO!

I can't wait until they're teenagers. I may just let my hair go grey and start eating candy by the pound. ;)

[Unknown008]

Wow, what stories! :eek: :p

[ohsohappy]

:o Thanks.

I'm okay. I'm not perfect, no one is. Also, those darn kids didn't come with instructions. For instance, a book about what to do when your 3 year old shoves a small toy up her nose, well, that would be helpful. ;)

Also, no one tells you that a baby can poo so violently that the poo blows right out of their diaper and onto their neck, in the winter, when you're at a restaurant, with no extra clothes.

There's no mention of the fact that breastfeeding can hurt and those little gluttons will eat for an hour every hour. Do the math. You're feeding that thing 24/7!

Then there's the sleepless nights. How are you supposed to function on 1 hour of sleep (not consecutively) for 3 months or more?

Did you know that your hips will never be the same? They never go back to what they were. NEVER! Also, that last 10 pounds of babyfat, you may as well get used to it, it's not going anywhere. For those that do lose the weight, well, isn't it nice to be able to afford a tummy tuck, lyposuction and a personal trainer. BOO!

I can't wait until they're teenagers. I may just let my hair go grey and start eating candy by the pound. ;)

I guess the only thing you can do is try to be prepared for anything and everything. :)

[Catsmine]

The other story about my son from that time frame (year and a half later) was when we splurged on burgers and fries for dinner. Youngster loved the seasoned fries. He was told that he had to eat his hamburger before he got any more fries. He pouted but picked up the burger and was getting ready for a bite when (a different) cat streaks through the living room and grabs the burger five times the size of its head and takes off with it. You never saw such consternation on a kid's face. We did let him have more fries. I still can't figure out how the cat could get a whole burger and run off with it.

[Alty]

Cats are sneaky Cats.

Oh my!

Cats and cats. This can't be good. :eek:

[Catsmine]

Cats are sneaky Cats.

Oh my!

Cats and cats. This can't be good. :eek:

Cat says the funny part was me chasing the animal through the house.

[Synnen]

:o Thanks.

I'm okay. I'm not perfect, no one is. Also, those darn kids didn't come with instructions. For instance, a book about what to do when your 3 year old shoves a small toy up her nose, well, that would be helpful. ;)

Also, no one tells you that a baby can poo so violently that the poo blows right out of their diaper and onto their neck, in the winter, when you're at a restaurant, with no extra clothes.

There's no mention of the fact that breastfeeding can hurt and those little gluttons will eat for an hour every hour. Do the math. You're feeding that thing 24/7!

Then there's the sleepless nights. How are you supposed to function on 1 hour of sleep (not consecutively) for 3 months or more?

Did you know that your hips will never be the same? They never go back to what they were. NEVER! Also, that last 10 pounds of babyfat, you may as well get used to it, it's not going anywhere. For those that do lose the weight, well, isn't it nice to be able to afford a tummy tuck, lyposuction and a personal trainer. BOO!

I can't wait until they're teenagers. I may just let my hair go grey and start eating candy by the pound. ;)

I'd still give just about anything to have one.