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kctiger · Mar 3, 2009, 11:21 AM

Originally Posted by ashmonster81506

1. do everything possible that will let you get your mind/heart off of him and when you start thinking of him again, do something else.

2. you could always call him and talk to him about it, and see how he feels? maybe he's living with it the same way you are? maybe he will give you another chance? or the other way around. then again, i dont know what caused the breakup or anything.
but just try to go shopping, play sports, or something fun, where you have to think about what youre doing at the moment, and not about him. i know its hard, but just "think outside the box", and think of how things have changed for the better in the past 5 months for you, and just think positive. not negitive.

i hope my advice helps..

I think this would be an all around poor idea...

MiSSsy111222 · Mar 3, 2009, 11:25 AM

Originally Posted by kctiger

I think this would be an all around poor idea...

I agree as well. NC is NC. Calling him would kill me inside. And the embarrassment

MiSSsy111222 · Mar 3, 2009, 11:29 AM

Originally Posted by ashmonster81506

1. do everything possible that will let you get your mind/heart off of him and when you start thinking of him again, do something else.

2. you could always call him and talk to him about it, and see how he feels? maybe he's living with it the same way you are? maybe he will give you another chance? or the other way around. then again, i dont know what caused the breakup or anything.

but just try to go shopping, play sports, or something fun, where you have to think about what youre doing at the moment, and not about him. i know its hard, but just "think outside the box", and think of how things have changed for the better in the past 5 months for you, and just think positive. not negitive.

i hope my advice helps..

Every bit of advice helps. I think I'm so used to thinking about him it just happens nautrally. One minute I think the sun shines out of his A*** and the next I hate him. But eitha way I'm still thinking about the situation.

Good advice. Thanks:)

ashmonster81506 · Mar 3, 2009, 11:47 AM

I'm sorry my advice was poor. I didn't really word it right. But anyway I hope you find advice that actually helps. It is very hard getting over someone.

MiSSsy111222 · Mar 3, 2009, 12:14 PM

Originally Posted by ashmonster81506

im sorry my advice was poor. i didnt really word it right. but anyways i hope you find advice tht actually helps. it is very hard getting over someone.

No it was not poor. It just that going back to contact would set me back. Thank you again

Romefalls19 · Mar 3, 2009, 12:23 PM

You can feel free to read my story or Sneezy's(his is excellant) for how we did during our break up but it was a long recovery process

MiSSsy111222 · Mar 7, 2009, 03:11 AM

Threads merged.

Hello people.

Just a little question for you. I'm dreading the day I see my ex, we live in the same town so I know it will happen sooner or later. I am really really not looking forward to this moment especially if it happens anytime soon as I'm not over it yet. I actully feel nervous when I go out just because there is a chance I could see him.

What is the best way to approach this when it happens. I play it out in my mind of what could happen. Its actully driving me nuts.

arnimal7 · Mar 7, 2009, 03:26 AM

Hi Missy, I understand where you are coming from being that you aren't quite over him and the relationship yet. The fact is, you both live in the same town, so instead of beating yourself up over it, I think you should play it calm and cool if you should run into him. Odds are you most likely will. So try to keep it together. This too shall pass. Good luck

neverme · Mar 7, 2009, 05:33 AM

Ok, when you think of it you have to actively and consciously change what you are thinking of, over thinking it will only make it worse, it cannot better the situation in the slightest.

Now when you meet him as you are walking up the road, let's say, minding your own business, then you see him and drop to the floor, tears flooding, begin to beat your breast and wail 'HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME??' through the hiccups and sobs...

No only joking, but come on you know what you have to do, preferably look drop dead gorgeous, then just a casual 'hey' and keep going.

No need for any more. :)

talaniman · Mar 7, 2009, 08:36 AM

Polite, casual, brief. Hi and bye! Busy, and unavailable for idle chit-chat!! Keep it simple, and don't be drawn into long, catch up conversations.

MiSSsy111222 · Mar 7, 2009, 11:19 AM

I know when this does happen it will be a horrible experience. When I do go out I'm on look out. I also plan it out in my head of what I will say. These stupid fantasys never stop.

This is a sure sign of me not being over him.

plonak · Mar 7, 2009, 02:05 PM

Missy you are doing all the right things. By moving on, keeping yourself busy and so on.. but you have to be patient with yourself.. you're grieving a loss, significant one and it's not just going to stop hurting easily, it's a process..

Everyday that goes by you're one step closer to being healed.. that should give you some solace I think.. it will eventually stop hurting.. but take the pain in a when it arises and process it.. but don't let it in too long.. when you've had enough, go distract yourself..

I am still suffering heartbreak from 6 months ago.. and I didn't even know it until I actually stopped and asked myself why I felt so $hitty.. we are all different in how we process pain, so don't compare yourself and just be patient.. good luck

talaniman · Mar 7, 2009, 04:00 PM

Talaniman Rule #42- Don't worry about things you have no control over.

mintah50 · Mar 7, 2009, 05:02 PM

Well funny thing is I'm still healing today also . It hard to say on a two month relatioship that I thought would go far I'm still hanging on it. I very hard because I would think I got over it by now but I haven't at all. I also haven't seen him in three months so we ened on a bad note but I guess time will tell. And I'm going all the right things to get over it.I think about how I won't go back to him anymore cause I couldnot let myself go through that . Also I do place improve on my life. I also look how my life changed for the better without him.

mintah50 · Mar 7, 2009, 05:04 PM

Originally Posted by MiSSsy111222

I am in a better place now, even from before i was with him. life seems alot more brighter in some sense. But its still on my mind alot. i can be busy and BAM it hits me. the same with waking up in the morning, i get a few minutes of peace until it hits again.

sometimes i feel like the fool because im in pain whilst he carries on as normal.

I agree it been happening to me today and yesterday

MiSSsy111222 · Mar 8, 2009, 03:43 AM

Originally Posted by talaniman

Talaniman Rule #42- Don't worry about things you have no control over.

Maybe worrying about it is no good, but I would like to be prepared for it so when the times comes I can be strong.

MiSSsy111222 · Mar 8, 2009, 03:53 AM

Originally Posted by mintah50

Well funny thing is im still healing today also . It hard to say on a two month relatioship that i thought would go far im still hanging on it. I very hard because i would think i got over it by now but i havnt at all. I also havnt seen him in three months so we ened on a bad note but i guess time will tell. And im going all the right things to get over it.I think about how i wont go back to him anymore cause i couldnot let myself go through that . Also i do place improve on my life. I also look how my life changed for the better without him.

Believe it or not breaking up can be a blessing in disguise. Mine was a blessing, even no I didn't want it to end I see all the positive outcomes. My life is better. Its just dealing with the dissapointment that is hard. For you not to want to go back to him is a positive step, it shows you know what you want. Same with me I don't miss the relationship at all but I took it hard because I had high expectations of what could have been. One day the healing will be over, and the only thing that will be left is a more improved version of ourselves.

mintah50 · Mar 8, 2009, 01:39 PM

Originally Posted by MiSSsy111222

believe it or not breaking up can be a blessing in disguise. mine was a blessing, even no i didnt want it to end i see all the positive outcomes. my life is better. its just dealing with the dissapointment that is hard. for you not to want to go back to him is a positive step, it shows you know what you want. same with me i dont miss the relationship at all but i took it hard because i had high expectations of what could have been. one day the healing will be over, and the only thing that will be left is a more improved version of ourselves.

I fully understand what your saying , even though it hard to accept that the oucome is a blessing and we will both heal together in a good way.

chuff · Mar 8, 2009, 03:41 PM

I think it depends on the person and the time in there life, and the person they were seeing. I've had break ups from long relationships where I was happy to be out of it, and I've had break ups from short relationships where I couldn't forget the girl for a long time. In the end though, eventually they all wind up in the past.

_Someone_ · Mar 8, 2009, 10:06 PM

Hey MiSSsy111222 it has been more than 3 months NC now for me.I think you can remember me 3 months ago.you were the first one who answered my first post so I can remember you so well.
If you need help for healing you have something that helps you so much. As I have read from your other posts you are a muslim girl. Isn't it enough for you to move on?
Your boyfriend broke up with you? Don't take it as it was his decision because it was not. Take it as your destiny. Everyone has a destiny and nobody can do anything to change it. Take things as they come and be thankfull to Allah for everything.he is the best Judge.
I'm a muslim too and that is what is helping me.I made up my mind that it is my destiny and that's it.I can do nothing to change it.inshallah it helps you.
I apologize to the guys reading this post.I don't want to turn it into religion but this helped me and I want to help her too.
Take care of yourself.