[Fluffy1]

Well see. There is this girl, Sarah. She beautiful and kind and gorgeous. I recently started to have feelings for her. I mean I've asked her "What would you say if i asked you out" before she did say yes. But that was a whole year ago. She likes this guy named Brad. Who is a real jerk to me but Sarah is good friends with him. Sarah and I used to be good friends I would go to her house and stuff. But when all my close girl friends met Brad they don't seem to pay much attention to me. Brad is this sort of over weight man the reason why they like him is " He has the best personality ever!" but I don't think so. He always seemed to be a jerk to me I guess it could be from when he went out with one of my best friends that is good looking and she paid more attention to me then him that's the only reason I can think of. But do you think that I should wait for Sarah to get over this guy? She might like him for a while she seems pretty focused on him. Should I build my relationship with her more? Maybe just get over her? I really like her a lot. In love maybe? But I know if I don't try to get over her ill be pretty obsessed, and what if she breaks up with me? Well its all a big mess. I would really care for suggestions.

Thanks

[lighthawk]

I think you should just say bye-bye to Sarah because Sarah sounds stuck on Sarah and what Sarah wants.
Don`t know why women check out dudes w/ rude attitudes, either it`s a turn on because they themselves wouldn`t act like that or the actual truth may be is they feel lesser and need to be with a lesser, their comfortable zone, in otherwords they don`t feel comfortable or deserve to be with a nice fellow because they don`t know how to be, act or feel that they deserve to be with a nice fellow, ultamately it means when they are with a nice fellow it might wind up being too much work or responsible obligation for them emotionally.
Not to be rude but it doesn`t take a lifted finger to live in a pig pen but to live in a clean dwelling place means responsibility and chores to manage and keep things clean and tidy i.e... commitment and the responsibility of the seriousness that goes along with it.
Perhaps it's a case of Sarah just wanting to hang out with someone w/ no commitments and just fun , at least not in the way you see it or what she reads from your words and body language toward her and she doesn`t want to deal with her feelings along those lines.
If rude dude has her wrapped and jerks on her female emotions now and again she won`t be able to figure it out why he is hurting her and her drive and need from her hurt self esteem will keep bringing her back to him hoping for him to make it up to her somehow. It`s called a game of seduction and manipulation and for the most part only one person knows exactly what's going on and where they have someone in their balance.
If Sarah is so pretty and nice, why would she be attracted?
You didn`t mention if you followed up and took her out after she said yes to you?

Rude people are mostly braggars and talkers which means action and movement, it also shows the ability of power and control, and a lot of women like that security or rather it makes them feel secure to be around someone powerful and in control when they themselves are weak or dis-mantled inside, they cling to it like a magnet, add some money to it and there you go?
Wouldn`t you rather have fun and love with someone than hurt over or for someone? Sounds maybe that she is stringing you like rude dude might be stringing her?
Maybe the only way to catch her maybe is just to ignore her, the one thing women hate with utter despise.
If you only give her a quick Hey! How`s it going? Like passing dude in the hall way like your in a rush and need to be somewhere on your own.
It shows that same power , control destiny and plan and self shurety, but only in a good way, all she is going to do is think, hey wait he used to like me but it looks like he is over it and is on his way to somewhere else and it will catch her thought and attention, because generally women are selfish and self centered up to a point, her self vanity will force her if she really likes you to seek you out to find out what's going on, she doesn`t want to be left behind and perhaps will soon loose interest in rude dude and figure that maybe he wasn`t that special after all, it`s a shure litmus test as to how important you really are to her, and if not believe me you are far better off without her in your world because the bigger hurt lies far down the road if you choose to still cling to her Glory and good looks.

[chuff]

Women like jerks. Or jerk behaviors. That's why they are all after this guy. He presents a challenge to them. Your probably always available for her and that's probably hurting you more than helping. I would start to pull away.

[talaniman]

How about asking her out and ending this speculation. Never worry about the competition that's their problem. Ask her out and if she says yes fine, if the answer is no... lotta fish in the sea. Don't sweat it.

[Geoffersonairplane]

Women like jerks. Or jerk behaviors. That's why they are all after this guy. He presents a challenge to them. Your probably always available for her and that's probably hurting you more than helping. I would start to pull away.

Yes, women do seem to go for the jerk type personality, simply for the reason that Chuff has given.

Time to back off and show that you are worth more anyway and much more of a challenge..

Could make her curious perhaps?

[blueshadow_393]

I disagree with every one here except Talaniman!! One she can't help who she likes it just happens, two women DO NOT always fall for the jerks!! And hey he might not be a jerk to her, because if he was then she probably wouldn't like him. If you think you love her, then don't let her go!! Fight for her. I think you should try to hang out with her more, get back to being very close and watch it play out from there, hey she might relize what she's been missing, and if your around her more she might see how Brad treats you and see that mabye he's not the best guy for her. I would sugjest just being there for her, because she sounds like she's worth it.

[Geoffersonairplane]

I disagree with every one here except Talaniman!!! One she can't help who she likes it just happens, two women DO NOT always fall for the jerks!!! and hey he might not be a jerk to her, because if he was then she probably wouldn't like him.

Interesting point, it may be a subjective opinion and like you say, not all women fall for the jerks. I do however believe that women (as well as men) want what they can't have or that of which is of more of a challenge.

[Fluffy1]

Thanks guys all been a real help, just asking though how would I make her curious?

[Geoffersonairplane]

Would pulling away not make her curious?

If she knows you like her and you are suddenly not there anymore, she may become curious.

Better to be a challenge than a puppy dog..

Just an opinion and I may be wrong but I'm sure you will get some more good answers here..

[talaniman]

At your age keep it simple and keep it real.