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jd · Nov 29, 2009, 01:42 PM

Visited my son and daughter in law in another state. They just had a new baby. I had asked them if the dates were okay for them and they replied yes. My husband didn't go due to recent surgery. I was there for 2 1/2 days and 2 nites. My son cooked supper the first night. That same night my daughter in law suggested we go out to celebrate my sons birthday (which was coming up in a couple of weeks) the following night. I agreed. Suggested I buy a cake. She went halfers. Had a nice supper I paid. I brought a suitcase full of gifts (had sent a boxful of gifts when the baby was born)... christmas and some things for the 2 year old and new baby. DIL went to get hair cut and out for lunch with a friend. Son and I went out to check on a project once she arrived home. I was asked if I would be there for supper. Had sent my itinerary and they knew what time my flight left (after supper). Upon arrival back no preparation was made for supper... again I was asked about supper. My DIL is a very well organized person. My son prepared supper. My question is this should I have said something to my son? I don't want to cause any problems. I was rather ticked as some preparation/planning and special effort could have been made prior to my arrival. I wasn't going to take them out for supper again. I really enjoy seeing the 2 yr old and the new baby but I would like to be treated better than this. I hadn't seen them since April when we flew up there.

Gemini54 · Nov 29, 2009, 01:50 PM

I'm sorry, but I have a feeling you may be overreacting.

You're annoyed because supper wasn't prepared by your DIL?

Perhaps your DIL wanted to allow you and your son some time together, or she was tired, or because they have a new baby they had forgotten.

Unless there is something else going on that you haven't talked about in your post, I think you should cut her some slack - and yourself too. It's not worth getting upset about!

teachnk · Nov 29, 2009, 02:03 PM

I personally know both my mother and my mother-in-law would have offered to help cook. I am sure they believed you were visiting because you wanted to be there and you wanted to spend time with them. Try to remember what the visit was about, spending time with them, seeing the babies and being a family. When you or they worry about what you are owed or deserve, it will create unnecessary friction. Congratulations on your grandchildren!