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owhc · Nov 29, 2009, 11:29 AM

I found a text message my husband sent a co-worker He said Thanks Let it snow, Ash I forgot to tell you I love your glasses they really suit you. Have a good sleep. Their both ploce officers and she was just finishing her night shift and going home. Question was my husband flirting or am I just off on this one?

redhed35 · Nov 29, 2009, 11:54 AM

Have you asked your husband what he meant by the text?

jmjoseph · Nov 29, 2009, 12:28 PM

It doesn't sound like anything to me. I'm not sure what the "snow" reference was about. Unless in fact it was going to actually snow that night. Or he was using a reference to drugs(cocaine). Does he use drugs?

There was nothing inappropriate, or any terms of endearment, that he used in the text. It was just a compliment, that's all.

The question is, what's going on in other aspects of your marriage as to why you are suspicious?

Are you threatened by this co-worker?

owhc · Nov 29, 2009, 12:40 PM

Originally Posted by redhed35

have you asked your husband what he meant by the text?

He said nothing he thinks I have over analyzed it perhaps he's right. I know he finds her attractive she's young and single etc,

owhc · Nov 29, 2009, 12:48 PM

Originally Posted by jmjoseph

It doesn't sound like anything to me. I'm not sure what the "snow" reference was about. Unless in fact it was going to actually snow that night. Or he was using a reference to drugs(cocaine). Does he use drugs?

There was nothing inappropriate, or any terms of endearment, that he used in the text. It was just a compliment, that's all.

The question is, what's going on in other aspects of your marriage as to why you are suspicious?

Are you threatened by this co-worker?

Our marriage is great otherwise he never goes out to bars with the rest of them very respectful. I am a little threatened by the co-worker police have to work very closely together tend to form strong bonds hence the high divorce rate. Plus she's hot:rolleyes:

redhed35 · Nov 29, 2009, 12:48 PM

You know,its OK to admire beauty, I have a boyfriend and I still admire a handsome man...

If your feeling a little insecure about it,you could just say that,not analyze,but just tell him how you feel.

If you trust him,that's fair enough... if he has given you cause to doubt his behaviour from past issues,that's something else.

Fr_Chuck · Nov 29, 2009, 01:42 PM

If this was a male worker, would not the same thing be able to be said,
Police officers have a very tight bond

jmjoseph · Nov 29, 2009, 05:49 PM

Originally Posted by owhc

Our marriage is great otherwise he never goes out to bars with the rest of them very respectful. I am a little threatened by the co-worker police have to work very closely together tend to form strong bonds hence the high divorce rate. Plus shes hot:rolleyes:

I agree with police officers needing to have a strong bond with their partners. They spend all day together, usually in a one on one situation. And they need to know that the other one has his/her back. They get very close no matter what sex they are.

Do you have a strong relationship?

I know that you don't want to hear this, but if she is that "hot", and wonderful, he is going to have to use caution as to not get smitten with her. And that's kind of tough for some guys.

But if he loves you, and your bond is strong, you two will survive.

You are just going to have to trust him on this.

Be strong. Good luck.

Fr_Chuck · Nov 29, 2009, 05:59 PM

As a police officer myself, I will tell you that most likely he will see, hear, do and have things done to him, he will never tell you about. I know most officers try not to bring the fear, and the "trash" they deal with daily home. And is one of the reasons police officers have the highest suicide and divorce rates of any profession.

Now with that said, from experience most officers don't have affairs with their fellow officers near as mcuh as I have seen it in other jobs. *
* this is just personal opinions.

Now this does not mean it does not happen. But from what you saw, it seems more like two friends merely being nice

owhc · Nov 30, 2009, 06:21 AM

Follow up We spoke last night I told him I trust him and I would "Let it go" He said he loves me and doesn't want to lose me we will be together forever. I asked him to promise me one thing, never say or act in a way in wouldn't do if I was there. He promised. Final remark I believe the police need to re-evaluate their coach and partner setup. 40 hours a week together so close in my opinion too close! Thanks for the advice TRUST is King!