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jaime90 · Nov 19, 2009, 04:33 PM

Glad you mentioned this... Don't worry about it "going too slow!" I met my fiancé when I was 15, we had our first kiss on my 18th birthday, and didn't have our "first time" until we were engaged. It's good to take it slow- this way, you are becoming connected emotionally, and more deeply than if you were more physically connected. Save sex.

Rockursock · Nov 19, 2009, 04:36 PM

Interesting.. ya I actually was talking to one of my girl friends about how she stayed over but we didn't do ANYTHING. She said pretty much the same thing. Also that she probably liked me at the time enough where she didn't want to mess things up.

Rockursock · Nov 19, 2009, 06:53 PM

Does anyone have any advice. It would be greatly appreciated.

Rockursock · Nov 19, 2009, 07:08 PM

Threads merged

Me and this girl have had an interesting situation lately. I call it a situation because we are not dating, however, I realize now that I like her a lot for as much as I know her. Really I just realized that she might be that rare girl that is perfect for me. This opportunity doesn't come around often and I am afraid that I might have messed it up. So to give you background information, she had originally liked me and I didn't think she was my type at first. I also found out one of my best friends was really into her. So there were two good reasons that made it not worth pursuing. However, as life works in strange ways, on multiple drunken occasions we made out. Then, I ended up taking her on a date and then hanging out with her another time. All these occurrences were very spread out, and while I initiated the plans, I didn't initiate any calls or texts. My friend ended up finding someone, and the next thing I know were partying at my house and she stays over. She tells me that she can't quite figure me out, but she really likes me and I responded that I liked her too. GOING PERFECTLY RIGHT? Wrong, because this is when I realize that I actually do like her and change up everything I do. Now I'm initiating all the calls and texts. I also, which really messed things up, complimented her too much on different occasions while drunk. I basically messed up everything, and now am getting the impression that she has lost her interest in me. I'm wondering if anyone has any ideas. They would be greatly appreciated. Thank you for listening.

itried · Nov 19, 2009, 07:17 PM

Just sit back and wait for her to call you. If she thinks you're hard to figure out, then make it even more difficult for her. Trust me, she's having way more fun talking to her friends about you and all the drama that comes along with it than just being with you. She craves the mystery and the fact that amongst her friends she may be the only one with a "situation" going on to speak about. Don't fall into her lap like a little puppy. Have fun with it and string her along. She'll fall for it, I guarantee.

It's really all the drama, the emotional ups and downs and romance that they crave.

Rockursock · Nov 19, 2009, 07:28 PM

Absolutely... one thing is that she can only receive calls because her phone is broken. I actually told her that we should party tommorro, but I was thinking that I would wait until Saturday and call her at 7 to go for a hike or something at 8. Basically to be spontaneous. What do you think. It would be 3 days since I called... is that to short?

By the way thank you for the response it was very helpful

Fr_Chuck · Nov 19, 2009, 07:31 PM

I see a trend, "while drunk" perhaps you need to work on you so that her or perhaps someone else will be glad to be with you.

Rockursock · Nov 19, 2009, 07:34 PM

I guess.. actually part of the reason I like her so much is that she kind of encourages me to get drunk she thinks its funny. We both are in college and like to have a good time. However, there is the possibility that she said that to please me.

itried · Nov 19, 2009, 07:35 PM

If she can't make calls then I guess your hands are tied. You can't wait for her to call you so you have to make a move I guess. If you do have to call her, make sure that you have plans that don't include her after the hike. You need to make it seem like you have other things going on besides being with her. This will keep her on her toes.

I know what happens in college so getting drunk and making out is basically par for the course. If you're spending time together sober as well then you may be on to something.

Rockursock · Nov 19, 2009, 07:37 PM

Nice I didn't think about that. That's good

shazamataz · Nov 19, 2009, 10:52 PM

My advice.

Stop drinking.

I'm sure she doesn't want another guy like her last boyfriend who was messed up with drugs/alcohol.

Just have an honest talk to her... ask her out, don't skirt around the subject, be a man and be upfront about it.

Rockursock · Dec 8, 2009, 08:23 PM

Threads merged

First of all I would not consider myself desperate nor a ladies man by any means. I am kind of in the middle, and never really get too worked up over girls except for my one serious 3 1/2 year relationship. However, I am all worked up over this girl that initially I wasn't even into. At first I played it very well, but later on I started to like her and made some minor foolish mistakes. We are both in 3rd year of college and are big partyers, and I have said too much while under the influence. Anyway I have been sensing the fact that she has lost interest, and I keep telling myself there are other girls, but just when I am convinced at her loss of interest she gives me reason to think otherwise. I just don't know what to do and I can't convince myself to just get over it. Another thing is that all my friends, including one of my best girlfriends, who is always telling me I can do better says this girl is great and loves her. This is the first time I actually think that this friend has actually liked a girl I introduced her too, which really means a lot to me. Me and this girl are not really in a relationship but have told each other we like one another. Its been really weird because its been a couple months and nothing physical has happened besides kissing and cuddling, though she spent the night in my bed. This was a while ago, but she straight up told me that she didn't want to have sex, which I respected, but it through me off a lot. Does anyone have any ideas as to how I can maybe fix things up? Do I need to just forget about it or do I have a chance?

Answers are very very much appreciated and thanks for your time!

Just Dahlia · Dec 8, 2009, 09:41 PM

Well, if I said I don't want to have sex, than I'm thinking 'I don't want to have sex' It's kind of odd that she said this 'out loud' and she is cuddling and kissing which leads to sex.:confused:

Play it slow, maybe she is looking for something different in her life right now. She sounds confused.
Sorry, I'm not much help here:(

talaniman · Dec 9, 2009, 08:17 AM

What I read after merging your posts is that you, and a female are party buddies, and often make out while drunk. It also sounds as if you want more than to just be party buddies, but are afraid to ask her to be in an official relationship.

Stay sober for a while, and see how you get along sober, see if your more than party buddies, and if you have more things in common than just a wild roller coaster ride.

Alcohol, like sex, plays tricks on your mind, and makes feelings so much more intense, and hard to figure. I realize your at that age where girls, parties, drinking, and having a grand time, is pretty much what you look forward too, and make plans for. I get that.

But if you want a girlfriend, its got to be on a deeper, more sober level than what your doing now. Or else it will only work while things are moving fast, the music is loud, and the liquor is flowing.

Another thing is I feel your so attached to this one female, maybe through no fault of your own, but the being around each other so much, and doing so much, then of course the attraction is strong, and maybe as intoxicating as the drinking.

Hey look get sober, and talk to her, and see if she likes you enough to be your girl, and if not, don't spend so much time together, because trust me, that will never work. Then you will be stuck. There are many females out there to be party buddies with, without the emotional attachments.

If your just looking for sex, that's another thing as I doubt she wants to be a sex buddy with you.So see things thru a sober reality, unless you want to be a drunken fool!

What do you want to do?