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greeneyes85 · Nov 19, 2009, 05:16 AM

Please help me! My ex walked out on me and our son in April 2009, it was totally out of the blue and he gave no explination, he just left. Then he didn't show his face or contact me about our son for 10 days. When he did eventually text saying he wanted to see our son, he didn't show up. Again, no explination or anything.

Then it got worse, Our son has regular visits to hospital because of a condition he has, my ex didn't show up to take us to one of his appointments. Lukily my mum took us at the last minute. He then went on to not show up for a further 5 appointments in a row, with no explination ar ohone call to say he wasn't coming. All I have done since he has left is text and phone hem reminding him of all these appointments and asking him to come ans spent time with our son but he's always given excuses and never stuck to his word, we've waited in all day on many occasions waiting for him to pick our son up and he's not shown up.

He then started getting better, I arranged for him to have our son every other weekend. It was going OK until he got bored with it and started his 'no show' game again, and when he did pick him up he would dump him in his mums and go out partying with his friends.

Then he said he wanted to see more of him so I said fine, he can have him everyohter weekend and every Wednesday, he agreed to this but of course, 4 wednesdays in a row, he didn't turn up and again, no phone call or text or anything.

Another missed hospital appointment and he left it 2 days before phoning to see how it went and didn't even bother asking when the next one was.

Then the sickest of his actions happened 2 weeks ago. He had our son for the day, then when he dropped him off home I asked if he would be seeing him again before his weeken with him. He said yes, he would have him in a couple of days. No show again, so I sent him a couple of texts asking what was happening but I was getting no reply. So I text his mother, she then told me he was on holiday with his work mates for the week, so he knew he wasn't even here and still agreed to come and collect our son! How sick is that? And of course his weekend came but he didn't come and get him.

The last weekend I had him back I had a bag full of dirty washing that they had not bothered to do, one of my sons sleep suits was so badly soiled it looked as though they had left him in it all day. It made me very upset. And when I had him back he had a very bad rash on his face that he had when we found out he was allergic to a certain food. So they're just feeding him anything with no concern for his health! I cried that night because my son is only 19 months ol so he can't speak out. Now I feel sick to my stomach letting him stay with him and his mum again. What can I do? :(

ScottGem · Nov 19, 2009, 07:07 AM

Have you gone to court to formalize custody and visitation and Support?

greeneyes85 · Nov 19, 2009, 07:44 AM

No nothing like that. I wouldn't know where to start. It's all been me trying to get him to see his son so far, usually it's the other way round lol.

JudyKayTee · Nov 19, 2009, 09:34 AM

You have to go to Court and get custody/visitation and child support set up by Court Order. That's step number one.

DnJzMommy · Nov 19, 2009, 03:55 PM

I know your trying to have your child have his father around I'm sure everyone agrees but at the same time I think you need to see the real problem. Hes putting your son in an unsafe position. I think you should definitaley take him to court have him decide what he wants to do (because I have a feeling he might actually be willing to give up his parental rights as a father the way he's acting). Ask for full legal custody I believe you can still ask for child support def talk to an attorney- and focus on your son- and his health- God bless and good luck with everything.

ScottGem · Nov 19, 2009, 04:12 PM

As Judy said, you need to go to court. You need formalize things. By gong to court you force him to face up to his responsibilities. And then you see where he's going to stand. You ask for supervised visitation so you can be sure your child is safe.

greeneyes85 · Nov 20, 2009, 01:38 AM

Thank you everyone. I will deffinately do that. It's not right that I shoul be worrying about my son being with his own father. Thank you.