[aaronf]

This is a story, about my life. Something that happened to me, and I hate dealing with by myself everyday. I have not had another girlfriend since her. It seems I can't, they all say "oh were just friends" /= I'm depressed.


Sitting in the dull library on a Monday morning awaiting the color to come. I began to reminisce on just two nights ago. I lay beside her in the grass, I felt utter and complete contentment. Staring into a vast ocean of gleaming stars, her green eyes like an ever flowing spring, and I can’t stop swimming. Looking into her eyes I lost myself. With my fingers laced through hers we just laid there saying nothing, I was just complete. One question I had kept asking myself “Is this love? Does she love me?”
The ten minute bell interrupted the bliss, realizing that the room was still colorless and dull. Her absence brought a deep sense of desolation to my morning. What am I supposed to do without her? I got up and dragged myself out of the library, trying to get through the day as normal as possible. But what was normal? Normal was sharing as many heartbeats as we could together. Overtime she ahd become my best friend, my love, she was the fiber of my soul, the very reason for my existence.
“She’s sick that’s it, she will call me tonight.” I kept telling myself as an attempt to regain composure, but that’s not what stuck. “She hates me” My lugubrious subconscious had convinced me.
Weeks dragged by without any color in my life. When I thought apathy had finally made a home in my heart and thought maybe I won’t have to care anymore, I saw her. All self-control left me, I ran up to her and wrapped my longing arms around her small frame and held her tight. I hadn’t cared if she hated me. I wasn’t even thinking about that at the time, alls that mattered was that she was there in my arms. Only to come to the realization that arms were still hanging down by her side. I looked up desperately only to see her leave from my arms, turn and run out the doors taking with her all composure that had remained. I collapsed to the floor and cried. I didn’t care if anyone was watching. I just sat there in the middle of the hall and cried my heart out.
The rest of the week walking to class or doing anything seemed as though I was just a bystander to my own life. I expressed no kind of emotion. Life was so surreal I just wanted to wake up, that’s all I wanted now. I was hopelessly awaiting for dawn to break to shine some light in the shadow that is now my life.
After getting home from school, as I usually did, I went up stairs and laid in my bed falling asleep, a deep dreamless sleep.
Later that night I awoke to a darkened sky, and a missed call. My heart pounded as I saw it was from her.
I quickly called back got no answer so I checked the voicemail,

“This is Amber’s mother i really felt obligated to tell you what happened before we leave. Amber on her way home from the movies with her father, for his birthday, was crossing through an intersection and a drunk driver slammed through her side of the car smashing her head, cracking the windshield. She lost all of her memory.. her father and i have decided to move her away, maybe give her a new start. please don’t try to contact her, we feel its for the best.”

the click echoed in my ears.. I didn’t know anything anymore. My fear of being alone had become so normal, now had jumped to a whole new level.. The fear is now my life. My life is now fear, now I am alone. No one else can remember how we sang to each other every night. No one can remember how your hand felt in mine. No one else will ever really know what it is we had except for me now. I am alone. I am. I. .

[Zaithe]

I don't think the person who get that much hurt can write the problem in like a movie seen or like a book story. Isn't? And you just wrote your question in a very emotional story like we found in books or movies only... tel me short what's the problem now?

[aaronf]

Umm, this is the situation? Its what happened over the course of 5 years. And now I don't know what to do. I feel completely empty. I have close to no more tears to cry. I need some way of "venting"

[Zaithe]

The simple solution is that don't see yourself like a movie hero which feel everything ends if the heroine dies. Just think it real buddy. All has to die so nobody dies if his or her loved one die so just take your life normal and try to forget the things and give yourself a new start in relations and please please don't compare or imagine yourself when watch movies because if you do this then it ll not possible to end this situation.