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anabella380 · Nov 18, 2009, 03:04 AM

So, here's my story. I went to a bar with one of my friends on Saturday (today is Wednesday) and met a guy with 2 of his friends. He approached me first and started to chat, bought me a beer and stayed by my side the entire night. After we left, we went to his friends house to play some games and talk and he flirted with me the entire time, every now and again he would just stare at me and look me really deeply into the eyes. As the night went on, he went to lay down for a minute and I went looking for him, he patted the bed next to him so I went to sit. He didn't try anything however, all he did was rub my back a little and pull me down for a kiss. Then we left, he snuck a kiss and held my hand for a bit. Then he asked me for my msn contact name (I'm in another country so phone credit is expensive) and messaged me the next afternoon. Since then, I have messaged him twice and still haven't received a response. Am I being paranoid? Did I get mixed signals? Is he shy? How do I know if he has a girlfriend? I don't want to seem desperate or clingy by being the one to always initiate but I just want to know if it's normal for a guy to ignore a girl for a few days and why?

Jake2008 · Nov 18, 2009, 03:18 AM

It sounds strange to me that while you are company in his home, he goes and 'lays down for a bit' and you go looking for him. I think I would have taken that as a hint that the night was over, time to go home.

That being said, you felt the need to go looking for him, and you shared a few 'moments', and that was that. Maybe him asking for your MSN name to contact you was another way of saying, "I'm done for now, let me get your info to contact you" is a way to end the evening.

Could be he was only polite in messaging you, or checking to make sure the information worked.

But such a brief encounter cannot mean anything other than that. Try not to read more into this than there is. I wouldn't personally message him again. Twice is plenty considering the brief time you hung out with him.

Anything else will be a bonus but I wouldn't bet the farm on it.

I wish · Nov 18, 2009, 08:43 AM

Originally Posted by anabella380

Am I being paranoid? Did I get mixed signals? Is he shy? How do I know if he has a girlfriend? I don't want to seem desperate or clingy by being the one to always initiate but I just want to know if it's normal for a guy to ignore a girl for a few days and why?

It's possible he was only looking to have fun for 1 night and that's it. But there's too much to suspect and to assume. So instead:

SLOW DOWN

You've already messaged him twice. So the ball is on his side of the court. Let him make the next move. If he doesn't contact you, then he's not as interested as you thought and just find someone else to talk to.

However, seeing that you're in a different country, it's going to be difficult to maintain any sort of connection, unless both people involved is willing to make the effort. Seeing that you're willing to make the effort, let's just wait and see if he does too.

2ndTime · Nov 18, 2009, 12:48 PM

Having almost one night stand doesn't mean there's any relationship. Wait and see, but meanwhile go do about your everyday thing and hang out with your friends.

jaime90 · Nov 18, 2009, 03:41 PM

You're reading too far into this, and I agree with 2ndTime. The word that stuck out to me in this post was "beer." And then you say he went and laid down... Okay, I'm thinking that this isn't the greatest scenerio for you to be making up relationship potential. I highly doubt this guy has sincere feelings for you while he's laying in bed and he gives you a kiss. I don't see this being anything serious, unless you're looking for a guy who seems like he will just use you.. That's the impression I'm getting. (When a guy you barely know is already trying to get physical, that's a red flag.)
You almost had a one-night stand, the guy hasn't called you, he was probably a little tipsy- and you may have been too. I would wait for his messages and cool your jets.

mfuna · Nov 18, 2009, 06:36 PM

If a guy is interested, he is interested and will make every effort to communicate with you. Keep in mind that long distant relationships don't normally work out, but there have been cases that do. I would not be too paranoid considering how you met. Keep an open mind on things.

Good Luck!`

Krayzie2k · Nov 24, 2009, 03:15 PM

Sounds like when he went lay down, he wanted you to go find him and was expecting you to lay down beside him. It's usually very hard to tell when there is alcohol involved. I have done some very cruel things to women when I was drunk and have been sober now for over 9 months because of this. In all honesty, I think he wanted sex, when he saw you weren't in to it you left his mind completely. Not to mention you are in another country. Move on, and forget about it. Just be glad you didn't sleep with him.