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playgirl31984 · Nov 11, 2009, 06:29 AM

Me and my guy have been experimenting with different numbing lubes so that maybe my first anal experience will not hurt as bad as the attempts I have used anal beads and they don't hurt but when it come to him I think I just get super nervous and it hurts,so any advice on what makes a enjoyable first time?

adam_89 · Nov 11, 2009, 06:32 AM

Just let your mind go and relax

Cat1864 · Nov 11, 2009, 06:59 AM

I wouldn't attempt anal sex until this problem is taken care of:

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/adult-...st-413866.html

Anal sex is not something that you want to 'rush'.

excon · Nov 11, 2009, 07:15 AM

Originally Posted by playgirl31984

so any advice on what makes a enjoyable first time?

Hello girl:

Sure... In the first place, it hurts and you don't like it. Who would? It's kind of like skiing. When you're a beginner, you're going to fall down, so you shouldn't start on the real steep slopes.

So, in order to get to full on anal intercourse, you/he needs to take baby steps. Hell, maybe you'll find out that you'll NEVER like it. That's a good thing to find out. Or, maybe you'll find out you love it...

So, he should start by inserting just the tip of his finger inside when you're getting ready to orgasm. If you like that, and maybe you won't, he could graduate to bigger and better things over time. But, it's not going to happen overnight, if it's going to happen at all. So, take some time.

excon

Kadehadaire · Nov 11, 2009, 10:36 AM

Firstly, loads of lube. Secondly, foreplay to become sexually aroused.

Then, I would suggest relaxing your sphincter muscle (this feels a little like pushing outward, if you know what I mean).

I would suggest lying on your stomach and 'helping yourself out' with your hands and then have your fella dip in and out shallowly (sorry for graphics people!) until you become more relaxed.

You can never have too much lube the first time. It will actually feel great if your'e relaxed and aroused.

artlady · Nov 11, 2009, 11:21 AM

Along with the good advice you have been given,know that any fecal bacteria can be very dangerous if it is transmitted to your vagina.
Do not contaminate the vagina by going from the anus to the vagina without a thorough cleansing.

Kadehadaire · Nov 11, 2009, 11:43 AM

Yes, artlady is 100% correct, thank you for mentioning that!

Cat1864 · Nov 11, 2009, 01:55 PM

You have been given some excellent advice, however, I still think you should work on his premature ejaculation before attempting anal sex.

smoothy · Nov 16, 2009, 07:36 AM

Originally Posted by Cat1864

You have been given some excellent advice, however, I still think you should work on his premature ejaculation before attempting anal sex.

I agree... the bum is tighter than the parking stall in front of it. Its only going to make lasting that much harder.

Now with that aside. You don't need numbing jells. If it hurts you aren't relaxed enough. Or use enough lube. Slow and steady. When you learn to control the sphincter, you can fit a hand up there. And when you are relaxed enough, it not only doesn't hurt... it will feel great.

But patience in the beginning is what you must have. One finger, than two fingers, when you get to three fingers up to the knuckles you have learned to relax enough to proced without pain. But don't forget you aren't going to pull the Prius into the garage if the Suburban is already parked there. Time this to 60 -120 minutes after you last have a bowel movement. He won't be spearing a plum that way which will cause discomfort for you as well.