[Clough]

Do you want to play a musical instrument, like maybe the piano?

[GodeatGod]

I always wanted to play the piano.
I gained a high respect for the piano and keyboards after hearing them played out of their original genre.

[Clough]

So, what's keeping you from starting to play a keyboard or piano, please? Do you have a piano or keyboard?

I had my first "real" piano lesson when I was in college. Had organ lessons for a few years when I was in grade school and early junior high school.

I'm also going to side-step the music thing in just a bit, because I'm sure that we're very similar in a number of ways as far as early relationship and self-expression issues.

I also had a "trust" issue when I was your age and before...

Thanks!

[GodeatGod]

I do not have a keyboard or piano.
I wouldn't know where to go for that kind of teaching.
I don't have a lot of money to pay for leasons.
Maybe college will open some sort of door for me to be able to do something along those lines.

[Clough]

Okay, hopefully something will open up for you in college. There's also other places that a person might be able to practice the piano, like at a church, library, community center, the home of a neighbor, etc.

When you read my profile, would you say that I've been successful in my life?

[GodeatGod]

It seems your proud of all your accomplishments, so I suppose I can say your successful.

[Clough]

I trust you with telling you my first name. It's Craig.

Would you please tell me your first name?

Thanks!

[GodeatGod]

Pleased to meet you Craig.
I'm Justin.

[Clough]

I'm please to meet you too, Justin!

I had a lengthy response just about completed when my brower decided that there had been an "Illegal Operation" and closed on me without me being able to save my work.

Am reconstructing it, now...

Thanks!

[GodeatGod]

I can relate.
That happens to me every so-often.

[Clough]

My lengthy response is coming shortly. I'm trusting you with my revealing some personal information about myself...

[GodeatGod]

I'm looking forward to it.

[Clough]

Like you, I had been a stoner starting in about the 9th grade. I had liked and been interested in many girls - never had the guts to ask one of them out. I didn't want to take the risk and get hurt - fear of failure and rejection. Just simply scared to death about it... Finally did ask one out though, my senior year of high school after I turned 18. Even then, I was drunk when I asked her out. It was legal to drink in the State of Iowa at that time, at the age of 18, believe it or not.

Like you hide in your writing, I hid in my music. Music was my safe haven. I could count on being successful at it.

Absolutely hated high school and didn't do my homework - except the music stuff, that is. Barely graduated. Out of all the colleges to which I applied, only one would accept me. I got my act together there and graduated with a 3.00 GPA.

Sure, I've been successful in my life. But, what's not revealed in my profile are the times when I've been fired from jobs or not been offered a contract to return; my bitter divorce; the times when I've tried things and totally failed at them; the times that I've hurt so badly, emotionally and mentally, that I just cried and cried and have basically felt like I was "frozen" and been unable to move; the people who've blown the trust that I had in them; the times that I've actually considered suicide as an option...

If a person really wants to make it, then they have to take risks. They're going to get hurt. They're also going to be more likely to have successes if they take the risks and learn to trust others. It's all a part of life...

[GodeatGod]

Wow...
You kind of blew my mind with that spiel.
Thank you for opening up to me like that, Craig.
I think that the only solution there is, is to force myself to take risks.
I need to force myself to go out and put myself on the line, even if it means failure.
I don't think this is going to be easy, but hopefully it will be worth it in the long run.
Despite all you've said, are you happy with your life now?
If you don't mind me asking that is.

[GodeatGod]

I'm going to sleep.
It's 4 in the morning where I live.
I look forward to your response when I wake up.

[Clough]

I'm going through another rough time in my life right now, Justin. It's mainly due to the economy. I give private lessons and do all sorts of other types of things for self-employment. At this time last year, I was doing pretty good. Now, it's really hard to get business because people just aren't willing to pay like they used to.

As far as my life right now and being happy with it? I'm doing the best that I can. I'm happy overall, but more than a little scared because I own a home and am having trouble making payments on it. If I lived in a much large metropolitan area, I would be able to make a living as a professional musician playing what I like to play. But, what I really like to play, a person can't make a living doing that around here.

You've already read about my barbershop chorus. Directing that is my highlight of the week! Doesn't pay much, though... The other "benefits" are outstanding!

I will also be the organ soloist at the upcoming chamber music concert for the Quad City Wind Ensemble. No pay for that... But, it's something that I can put on a resume.

Do you have problems speaking in front of large or even small groups of people, please?

Thanks!

[Clough]

I responded. It's about time that I get to bed too!

[Clough]

Okay, I can see that you're no longer online here, Justin.

I'll look forward to communicating with you later. I hope that you have a good sleep and pleasant dreams! :)

[GodeatGod]

I hope your slumber was good as well.:]
And yeah, the ecomony seems to be the base of everyone's problems nowadays.
And yes, I do have a problem speaking in front of people.

[Clough]

Hi again, Justin!

I used to have a great problem speaking in front of people. It took me a number of years to get over that.

If you would like, I can share with you ways that you might be able to get over your challenge with being able to do that.

Thanks!