[Klaipeda]

Hi, I have full time job at the particular organisation. At the same organsation but different departments I can do additional hours too- a bank job. One day I was reported falselly by one particular department's staff for being extremely uncooperative (to the organisation that supplies me with the additional job).. That was not true and I was surprised and hurt by such accusations.There was only small true- that I used my mobile for a couple of minutes ( we cannot be seen using the mobiles) and someone saw me using it. I wouldn't worry if that wouldn't bring me the problems as the ageincy who is resposnisble for supplying me with the additional bak jobs is going to report that to my full time job manager..
The whole true about what happened is- I was assigned a job and had my supervisor assigned to me. Later on the supervisor to whom I WAS NOT assigned to work asked me to work in his area even though she had someome to help her. I did not mind the first time. On the second time she came to me again and asked me to do something else again, I at that moment I was doing my assigned job and asked her why I should do the job that I am not assigned and also explained that I am doing something at the moment. She was offended by my assertiveness and said to me that it's her rule that everyone works where she tells them as she was the boss there. I said "ok" and since then I did whatever she asked me to do or one of her staff members as well as doing the assigned work to me. They were continuing to come to me as if I was the one in the whole deprtament and asking me to do that and that. Some time I was bussy with my assigned job and expleined that I attend to them ASAP, when I finish my job ( I was already exhousted and feeling as if I am working alone even though she had people to help her) When I finished, I came to to help them. For that I was reported as being uncooperative and was reported.
Is that correct or not. What should I do. Please?

[justcurious55]

I'm just going to throw this out here, I'm not saying this is the case, just a possibility. There is a very fine line between being assertive and aggressive, stubborn, and/or uncooperative. Even if you felt you were being assertive, and I wasn't there, maybe you really were only being assertive, it does seem possible that she misinterpreted that as being uncooperative. There's also some people, people who are insecure usually, that don't like to have their authority and orders questioned and don't know how to handle things when it is. Maybe that's really the problem. Maybe she's just insecure and your innocent question made her feel attacked. Is sucking it up and going to her and apologizing an option? Sometimes, in the workplace especially, it's just best to go with it. I once made the mistake of getting an attitude with one of my managers. I still don't think the way she asked me to do something was right. But that doesn't justify my attitude. I decided that instead of run the risk of being on her bad side though, was just to suck it up and say "sorry, i was out of line." she accepted, we moved on, now I love working with her. Something that could have turned into drama was easily taken care of.

[Klaipeda]

i'm just gonna throw this out here, i'm not saying this is the case, just a possibility. there is a very fine line between being assertive and aggressive, stubborn, and/or uncooperative. even if you felt you were being assertive, and i wasn't there, maybe you really were only being assertive, it does seem possible that she misinterpreted that as being uncooperative. there's also some people, people who are insecure usually, that don't like to have their authority and orders questioned and don't know how to handle things when it is. maybe that's really the problem. maybe she's just insecure and your innocent question made her feel attacked. is sucking it up and going to her and apologizing an option? sometimes, in the workplace especially, it's just best to go with it. i once made the mistake of getting an attitude with one of my managers. i still don't think the way she asked me to do something was right. but that doesn't justify my attitude. i decided that instead of run the risk of being on her bad side though, was just to suck it up and say "sorry, i was out of line." she accepted, we moved on, now i love working with her. something that could have turned into drama was easily taken care of.

You are right when it comes appologising to women because you are man we women accept it beautifully :). It's different women- women though.
Regarding your sayng that she might be insecure I sense that it might be the case. I wasn't rude or aggressive, I just confidently and in the calm voice asked her the question..
The pont in the end is that she requested from the ageincy to prohibit me from working in her department in the future and while the investigation takes place I must not contact any member of that deprartment as it may result in more troubles. So, anyway I will not see this lady anymore and I just leave like that.. Otherwise if I could I would probably use your advce to try how it works..
Thanks for your answer :)

[justcurious55]

Um, I don't understand the first line of your post. I am a woman, and I apologized to a woman. Women-women? Sexism in the work place never leads to anything positive.

[Klaipeda]

um, i don't understand the first line of your post. i am a woman, and i apologized to a woman. women-women? sexism in the work place never leads to anything positive.

Sorry about that! Of course sexism is not good, But women usually are more softer with men than to women. I think so.. Good luck and thank you for your responce:)

[Gemini54]

I don't get it. If there is an investigation, who is putting your case forward for you? Or is it everyone else's word against yours?

If different people are giving you work then you may not have the ability to decide which job is more important. It's not fair for 2 bosses to ask junior staff to do work for them - if you are doing an 'assigned' job then that should be the priority.

It sounds as if management is out of whack in your organization - they need to talk to each other.

Is there a senior person you can speak with and put your case?

[Klaipeda]

i'm just gonna throw this out here, i'm not saying this is the case, just a possibility. there is a very fine line between being assertive and aggressive, stubborn, and/or uncooperative. even if you felt you were being assertive, and i wasn't there, maybe you really were only being assertive, it does seem possible that she misinterpreted that as being uncooperative. there's also some people, people who are insecure usually, that don't like to have their authority and orders questioned and don't know how to handle things when it is. maybe that's really the problem. maybe she's just insecure and your innocent question made her feel attacked. is sucking it up and going to her and apologizing an option? sometimes, in the workplace especially, it's just best to go with it. i once made the mistake of getting an attitude with one of my managers. i still don't think the way she asked me to do something was right. but that doesn't justify my attitude. i decided that instead of run the risk of being on her bad side though, was just to suck it up and say "sorry, i was out of line." she accepted, we moved on, now i love working with her. something that could have turned into drama was easily taken care of.

I know how to speak to bosses, it's stupid to be aggressive, f I was aggressive I wouldn't write here asking for your opinion. I certainly have an insight strong enough to understand wht's right and what's wrong.

[justcurious55]

Well, clearly, you have some issues with communication. I did not say that you were aggressive. I made it very clear that I was not saying that. I said that was one possibility. Another possibility is that you were perceived as aggressive. The same way I'm perceiving your last post as aggressive. Where is that even coming from? Yesterday you're thanking me for my response and today you're bashing me for throwing an idea out there? Now I think I'm getting a clearer idea of why someone made a complaint. Now, I have no idea if you intended that to be aggressive. Maybe you didn't. I would hope you didn't. But I do feel that it's aggressive. In any case, you can only benefit from reflecting on the difference between aggression, assertiveness, and the ways people can perceive the things you say and write.

[Klaipeda]

well, clearly, you have some issues with communication. i did not say that you were aggressive. i made it very clear that i was not saying that. i said that was one possibility. another possibility is that you were perceived as aggressive. the same way i'm perceiving your last post as aggressive. where is that even coming from? yesterday you're thanking me for my response and today you're bashing me for throwing an idea out there? now i think i'm getting a clearer idea of why someone made a complaint. now, i have no idea if you intended that to be aggressive. maybe you didn't. i would hope you didn't. but i do feel that it's aggressive. in any case, you can only benefit from reflecting on the difference between aggression, assertiveness, and the ways people can perceive the things you say and write.

Did you find my last sentence aggressive? Shall I ask everyone if that sentence sounds aggressive to them? Can you hear me saying it? If yes then you have insecurity issues? In any case I cannot change the way I am perceived, -everyone perceives another depending on the feelings inside- if you are anxious you will perceive me as aggressive.. If you hold positive attitude, you will say everyone is different.In any case I newer mean to be aggressive. Shall I change for you or someone who perceives me as aggressive? - If someone is rude to me what shall I do ( they would say to me like that _ its your issues deal with them, be more positive and you will not perceive everyone as aggressive ( unless the real aggression comes out and you ca point the finger on it- swearing words, hightened speaking voice etc.I allways speak in calm voice and most of the time I'm smiling..

[Gemini54]

I know how to speak to bosses, it's stupid to be aggressive, f I was agressive I wouldn't write here asking for your opinion. I certainly have an insight strong enough to understand wht's right and what's wrong.

I sort of agree with Just curious. You say you 'know' how to speak to bosses - are you sure? Because if you did perhaps you wouldn't be in the situation that you are.

However, I'm still wondering why you have 2 bosses giving you work. Because this is why you are in this predicament. It can be very confusing for junior staff if they get instructions from two different people - who do they obey? How do they prioritize?

Again, I think there is an issue with management in your organization.

[justcurious55]

If your job depends on you changing your attitude, and you desire to keep your job, yes you had better change. And regardless of others feel it is aggressive, I felt it was aggressive. Others disagreeing will not change my perception. The same way that whether you or anyone else felt you were being uncooperative, the manager that made the complaint perceived you as uncooperative.
And yes, to some degree, you can influence how others perceive you. Your firsts post were dotted with smiley faces. You clearly know how to make sure that someone views your message as friendly. Your last two posts are all about justifying your own actions and how me and this other woman must be wrong. How should I have perceived that in your opinion?

[Gemini54]

Did you find my last sentence aggressive? shall I ask everyone if that sentence sounds aggressive to them? Can you hear me saying it? If yes then you have insecurity issues yourself, or maybe you are that woman? In any case I cannot change the way I am perceived, -ewryone perceives another depending on the feelings inside- if you are anxious you will perceive me as agressive..Shall I change for you or someone who perceives me as agressive??- If someone is rude to me ( like the staff at that department pushing me all over the place to work there and there, they clearly lack good manners..)

Why are you so defensive? People are really just trying to provide unbiased advice, they are not trying to attack you.

Perception is an interesting thing to ponder - in a workplace I do believe that one has to be sensitive to the perceptions of others and sometimes change our reactions accordingly. I would also suggest that this is important when dealing with superiors. Yes, it can be annoying, but it's a fact of life if we want to get on with our workmates.

[Fr_Chuck]

From reading your post and your responses, yes I could see how a boss may take things in a negative way.

I have a strict rule, does not matter how or what or where, but at the end of the day the boss is still the boss.
What they say goes and the way they want it done ( even if not the best way) will be the best way for now since they are the boss.

[justcurious55]

Had to spread the rep chuck, but that's an excellent point. I had an assistant manager, and every time someone would disagree with the way something was being done he would just smile, shrug and say, "it's so and so's store (the head manager), we just work here." some days it's best to just nod and smile.

[Klaipeda]

I sort of agree with Just curious. You say you 'know' how to speak to bosses - are you sure? Because if you did perhaps you wouldn't be in the situation that you are.

However, I'm still wondering why you have 2 bosses giving you work. Because this is why you are in this predicament. It can be very confusing for junior staff if they get instructions from two different people - who do they obey? How do they prioritize?

Again, I think there is an issue with management in your organization.

Well in the firs question I wrote that 'in that situation' I am for NOT BEING COOPERATIVE. Its your opinion that I was perceived as aggressive. And even if I was perceived as aggressive, the accusations would state that 'she was aggressive and please don't let her work again in or department as she does not know how to speak to the manager' or something like that. If the boss was insecure and didn't want to show herself as insecure and just made up my 'cooperativeness' in order to hide the true reason that means she is not sincere. Which chows her as not positive person again..

[justcurious55]

Well, it doesn't really matter if she made them up or not if the people above her believe them. It still makes you look bad. And your defensiveness and poor attitude is not helping you look anymore positive than her. Even if she is completely wrong and you didn't do anything to deserve it.

[Gemini54]

Well in the firs question I wrote that 'in that situation' I am for NOT BEING COOPERATIVE. Its your opinion that I was perceived as aggressive. And even if I was perceived as aggressive, the accusations would state that 'she was aggressive and please don't let her work again in or department as she does not know how to speak to the manager' or something like that. If the boss was insecure and didn't want to show herself as insecure and just made up my 'cooperativeness' in order to hide the true reason that means she is not sincere. Which chows her as not positive person again..

Um, I actually didn't say you were perceived as aggressive. I said that I agreed you didn't know how to speak with bosses.

I keep asking - why are you so defensive?

All you seem to want to do is argue and defend yourself rather than explore how you might deal with the situation you're in. It's a circular argument and not one that will get you anywhere.

If you want to remedy the situation at work, perhaps you have to be more co-operative and learn some humility.

As Fr Chuck and justcurious55 said, when you're an employee sometimes you just have to suck it up.

I would suggest that if you want to keep your job you apologize and learn the art of co-operation. It's not that hard.

[Klaipeda]

well, it doesn't really matter if she made them up or not if the people above her believe them. it still makes you look bad. and your defensiveness and poor attitude is not helping you look anymore positive than her. even if she is completely wrong and you didn't do anything to deserve it.

I think it's you who are being insulting now.. But thanks anyway for your thoughts:)

[Klaipeda]

From reading your post and your responses, yes I could see how a boss may take things in a negitive way.

I have a strict rule, does not matter how or what or where, but at the end of the day the boss is still the boss.
What they say goes and the way they want it done ( even if not the best way) will be the best way for now since they are the boss.

It's true, and it's better to avoid working with these kind of bosses if possible as not all are the same.. :). Thanks God I was there only for one and only time..

[Klaipeda]

Um, I actually didn't say you were perceived as aggressive. I said that I agreed you didn't know how to speak with bosses.

I keep asking - why are you so defensive?

All you seem to want to do is argue and defend yourself rather than explore how you might deal with the situation you're in. It's a circular argument and not one that will get you anywhere.

If you want to remedy the situation at work, perhaps you have to be more co-operative and learn some humility.

As Fr Chuck and justcurious55 said, when you're an employee sometimes you just have to suck it up.

I would suggest that if you want to keep your job you apologize and learn the art of co-operation. It's not that hard.

I suppose for the same way you 'attacking' me. So may I ask you why do you want me not to be defensive then? :)