[ian86]

I'm 23 and my girlfriend is 19, she says she wants to experience being single as we both came straight from other relationships, but wev been together for a year and she's just decided now! The thing is she says she still loves me and cares a lot about me, she also wrote me a very emotional letter about how she doesn't want to loose me and how good we are together and she would love it if we wer years older and ready to settle down, but we both need to go out and meet people and try different things whilst wer still young, she says she would regret it if we don't :( but then she goes on to say that in the back of her mind she mabey thinks breaking up is a big stupid mistake and she's really scared. She says she really loves me but needs to experience life bfore she commits herself to me and shel miss me. It seems like she doesn't want to break up but has this crap in the back of her mind, I need help!

[justcurious55]

She probably will regret it if she doesn't get to have some time to enjoy being single while she is young. So you have to make a decision. Are you willing to wait for her until she's ready for a commitment? Or are you just going to break it off and if you two end up back together in a few years, great, if not, oh well there's other fish in the sea?

[Imabadman]

You're nothing more than a comfort for her while she moves on from you. I kind of like the term, "Emotional tampon" although rather crass and crude.

Seriously... your move here is just to break it clean and cut contact. This 'alone' time will be when she decides whether you are future relationship material or not. She needs to feel a complete loss of you and decide if that loss outweighs the being single feeling. She may, she may not. None one can answer that buddy. Only she can.

[Romefalls19]

You give her space and both of you let go and start to experience life without each other in it. In time, things will happens and they may bring you back together but often times it will simply end. Be thankful for the time you two had to spend with each other

[ian86]

she probably will regret it if she doesn't get to have some time to enjoy being single while she is young. so you have to make a decision. are you willing to wait for her until she's ready for a commitment? or are you just going to break it off and if you two end up back together in a few years, great, if not, oh well there's other fish in the sea?

Thanks for all your help, its just there is nothing wrong with our relationship, we have the best times together and we have no reason to split up other than she's worried she will regret things. Mabey I should just try to not contact her and make her relise what she's missing?

[paxe]

Wow, that is something I've never seen. Do you realize how horrible all this is? So she basically breaks up with you, breaks your heart, wants to see other people, while you stay in her comfort zone and then you become her security blanket, while she takes the time of meeting new guys out there.

My ex did the same thing, broke up with me, called a couple of days later saying we should keep contact. Like a fool, I listened to her. It took me 3 to 4 months to heal completely. Trust me, she doesn't want to stick around, you are only here as a backup.

You need to stop staying in contact with her. Delete everything, email, phone number... start healing right now because it's going to take you a while if you stick around her. When people break up, they rarely go back together, and if they do, it doesn't last long.

[mystery144]

This has just happened to me, I was going with my girlfriend for 3 years and she told me this, I'm completely upset about it all, but I think we might need the space.