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Stringer · Dec 6, 2009, 09:19 PM

artlady agrees: Love the story! When you least expect it,love finds you,how sweet and good for you!

Thank you Artsy... yep it did. :)

dontknownuthin · Dec 7, 2009, 10:44 AM

It's great that you're open to counseling. There are some groups out there that are free that are a good option, too. One is Adult Children of Alcoholics (as a teenager, you're old enough to participate). This group helps you identify what patterns in your home environment aren't healthy and helps you understand also what you might do coming from that environment that is not healthy, so you can make sure and keep your own life on a healthy trajectory.

I would also recommend that you avoid drinking and be particularly vigilant as well about avoiding drugs and cigarettes. Both because you have grown up with it and because you share genetics with your Dad, you have a higher risk of having an addictive personality yourself. If you never start it, you'll never struggle with it, so stand your ground. Don't allow yourself to experiment with something that has already proven to cause you so much pain.

Is your Mom around? Do you have other adults you can rely on?

Your Dad also sounds very lonely. You could suggest that he try an online dating site or something, but ultimately he needs to resolve this issue on his own.

Take care!

basketballlover · Dec 7, 2009, 04:00 PM

My mom and dad are divorced so my mom lives a province away. I don't really have any other adults in my life. My uncles are just as bad as my dad.

dontknownuthin · Dec 7, 2009, 06:02 PM

Maybe you could seek out some adult support outside your family - at school, or friends parents?

basketballlover · Dec 7, 2009, 06:22 PM

Ill try to see what my options are.

JudyKayTee · Dec 8, 2009, 07:30 AM

OP is in law school - I would suggest that he/she ask a law professor for advice and attempt to become emancipated if it is as bad at home as he/she says. https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/family...ve-422602.html

As a side note I don't know why a 15 year old would be judging his/her father's appearance and dating life. I don't think anyone at 54 is ready for pasture and the father may very well find a woman in her 30's who is interested. Reverse this situation - if this were posted by the father about the child everyone would be jumping up and down.

I realize OP is unhappy about the parents' divorce but fail to see why OP is so interested in father's dating life, other than out of loyalty to his/her mother. Reading some of OP's other posts sheds light on this entire topic.

dontknownuthin · Dec 8, 2009, 09:44 AM

OP describes her dad as "54 with a teenage daughter". Unless she skipped several years of school, she's not old enough to be in law school. As I figure it, most people would be at least 21 or 22 when they start law school.

JudyKayTee · Dec 8, 2009, 12:05 PM

Originally Posted by dontknownuthin

OP describes her dad as "54 with a teenage daughter". Unless she skipped several years of school, she's not old enough to be in law school. As I figure it, most people would be at least 21 or 22 when they start law school.

That was exactly my point. Did you read the other thread? "She" (and I wasn't sure if we were talking he or she) has somewhat different info on the various threads.

As far as the age is concerned - I was expected to graduate from high school AND get an undergrad degree before I could enroll in law school. And I sure wasn't 15!

dontknownuthin · Dec 8, 2009, 01:22 PM

Got it - thanks.

basketballlover · Dec 8, 2009, 01:27 PM

Okay who id op? And I didn't say I was in law school I said I was taking a law class. Class in high school. I am not trying to judge my dad I am just trying to describe him. And yes there may very well be someone who is interested in men 24 years older. I just don't like that fact that he is talking to me about it. My parents divorced 12 years ago and my mom is happily married so it isn't about my mothers loyalty. I don't really care if he dates someone. And quite honestly if you aren't going to say anything nice or comforting why even write a response. I came here to know if it was normal if my father was talking to me about his dating life. Not because I think he shouldn't have one but because he continuously brings it up. Now I'm sorry if I'm being rude but I don't need people judging me without even knowing me. And to clear everything up. I am in high school. Not in law school.

basketballlover · Dec 8, 2009, 01:29 PM

Thank you. Once again I don't mean to be rude I just want to clear everything up with everyone.

Jake2008 · Dec 8, 2009, 04:04 PM

Well basketballlover, you need to deal with your father, and his innapropriate conversations with you about his love life, or lack thereof (not sure that's a word). The conversations he has with you, wouldn't be tolerated in the workplace, or appreciated in the checkout line at the grocery store, or during casual conversation at the coffee shop. It is just that much worse when a 15 year old is subject to it.

You cannot clean him up, or stop him from drinking, or set him up or get him motivated to join a club, or sports club. He's 54 years old! He has to be responsible for motivating himself, not living in a dreamworld, and dragging you into it.

Please seek help for yourself in how to deal with his drama. I wish you well, and success in taking more control over your own comfort level.

Alty · Dec 8, 2009, 04:15 PM

Why can't you go live with your mother? It doesn't sound like your home life is very good. Your father is acting inappropriately by discussing his love life with you.

I think it's time to talk to mom.

talaniman · Dec 8, 2009, 07:08 PM

Call, or visit, your local Alateen group for some advice, and guidance, as to how to cope with your father, and his drinking.

Welcome to Alateen

Yes his behavior is inappropriate and you need some help to stop it, just because you are embarrassed and uncomfortable with it..

Does your mom know of your problems? Can she help?

dontknownuthin · Feb 17, 2010, 09:10 AM

Thanks for the clarification. OP means "original poster" - the person who started the question.

Your post was inconsistent and sometimes people give misleading information on threads unfortunately, and basically are gaming everyone who's on here to legitimately offer good advice. Nobody means to be unkind or critical but it appeared you were claiming to be a law student (not many high schools offer law courses, after all). Your clarification helps. I hope the ideas that were posted earlier will be of help to you.